Aidan

 

He was standing, leaning his back against the white painted brick wall of the ancient cellar, now being used as an art gallery's pub. Aidan had the air of an angelic sphinx (particularly the one depicted in Rudiger's paintings), cold but yet tender, his soft grey eyes behind his pilot's glasses attempted to stare beyond the surface of his solid glass of Belgian white beer. The collar of foam had faded some time ago into the contents of the half-pint that had been pulled so graciously. It should have been seducing to every connoisseur. Yet not this night, not to Aidan. His pensive but sarcastic mood itself seemed to keep him from thinking. Anyway, what was the use of thinking since it had not been possible yet to take hold of the stream of consciousness itself, let alone to define where it was leading towards? He found himself dyslexic when it came to get hold of the immaterial world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

What was he doing here of all places, looking at Emma (a stubborn looking red-cheeked woman in her early forties), who was indulging herself in white whine? Binge drinking while doing the dishes had always been one of Emma's favourite activities. But why did she have to do that at her own wedding party? What did she marry David for anyway? David had always had the attitude of a statue, instead of a man. Frosty and hard. His steel blue eyes could easily cut an argument ...

 

As Aidan made these private reflections, he had not noticed Daisy. Yet she did notice his ash blond curly hair and his pensive mood which gave him a lonely but inherently wise complexion. Daisy had observed him from behind her straight slightly reddish-brown hair which served as her private curtains. She gently walked towards him and asked as she struck his shoulder with care: "Enjoying this wedding party, are you?"

 

- " Yes I am ", Aidan replied with a faint smile on his thin lips, " but I am not looking for a girl

friend."

- “Neither am I ", Daisy responded mysteriously.”

 

She had grown a little fond of Aidan, absolving his features into her photographic mind, as it were a minutely composed picture of delicate textures. She had taken to the solid soft

ness of his facial skin, his roughly shaven dark blond beard, the slimness of his thin body combined with the heavy Kawasaki bikers' belt, and the shabbiness of the grey-green lambs wool sweater that had become such an obvious part of him. (Could it embody the loneliness, which had slowly soaked into him over the years?)

Yet in the way he stood there, leaning against the bar, in all his solitude, his pose seemed to be an inviting one, as if he was waiting for someone to come over and start even the most trivial of conversation. Even though, Daisy could physically sense the frosty wall of sarcasm he had built around him. She herself felt provoked and determined to break it, it seemed she was in a positively demolishing mood. She was determined to break the wall down.

 

And Aidan had now noticed himself Daisy. Whether she would qualify as a girlish woman or a womanlike girl, he could not yet decide upon. Her healthy looks and straight over waist-length hair appealed to him. He remembered her to be the cheeky in-depth pseudo- psychologist that had left his mate speechless the other night. But why had she all of a sudden taken a like to him?

 

- “Do you know what David had to marry Emma for? And why did it have to be now, after they have been living as a couple for more than 18 years?” he muttered at Daisy.

- “I think it is the silliest thing the boasting bore has done so far.", Daisy replied in compliance with the tone of Aidan's question.

 

Then, they both resumed listening to the blues music CD by the talented son of Einstein's look alike who had turned out not to be such a bad old inventor himself. (At least, the humour in them was far better than Einstein's reputation with women).

 

- “Do you like the blues?” Aidan asked.

- “Yes, I do", Daisy replied in a haze.

 

So they both did. This must have been the bluesiest wedding party ever. Daisy and Aidan however did not want to get married. In this, they found, that night their mutual attraction and in the blues. Daisy instantly remembered Peter, the town drunk, to be the embodiment of basic blues itself.

Aidan recollected having repaired Joey's old contraption of a car and that he had not paid for it yet. Aidan, however, was sure to get the money sometime this century.

 

- “Do you know Joey?” Aidan informed, not expecting to get an affirmative answer? "I repaired his car a few months ago."

 

Daisy remembered Joey to be a blues guitarist, and the proud owner of a singing voice, soaked by life and booze itself.

 

- “Yes, I know of him. I enjoy his music and his attitude.” Daisy answered affirmatively, much to Aidan's surprise.               

 

Aidan found this to be very intriguing. Not very many young women would be liable to even have heard of Joey's work, let alone have a rather appreciative attitude towards it. And far more important, she seemed to be genuine about her expressed opinions.

Daisy had a relaxed and secure feeling while listening to Aidan. Normally people telling about their knowing "the famous" would not appeal to her, but the way Aidan had just put it, it seemed to be like a bare fact, the truth and nothing but the truth, nothing to be boasting about, just one of Aidan's every day aspects. It was however an aspect she would like to further her knowledge on...

 

- "Crash", "Bang", "Boing" -

 

Their private thoughts were now abruptly being interrupted by Emma whose balance had been heavily disturbed through her by now excessive consumption of alcohol. To help David out, Daisy resumed doing the washing up, but not before she had agreed she had to meet Aidan again. Apparently the broken glasses had decided nor was the party, nor their conversation to continue that night. They both placidly agreed that other nights and opportunities would come up.

 

Aidan would have liked her to turn up at his favourite pub, "The Attic", as she had done in his recurrent dreams.

Appearing on stage next to Joey, singing her heart out while performing a blues hymn with an ancient soul. But then again, Daisy never did turn up at "The Attic". She could not sing anyway.

Daisy realised that she had kept Aidan waiting on her. Yet she was keen on him due to the fact he appeared to be such a natural. For the first time she, at least consciously, did not experience the feeling of being conned into a relationship she did not want. But why then did she make herself hard to get? Surely the winter times and the season's greetings must have made her mind weary, as they had always done. Christmas and New Year's Eve did not appeal that much to Daisy since those holidays to her had lost most of their sacredness they had had in pre-Roman eras. Since no-one seemed to appreciate the primary significance of the holidays, Daisy preferred to pay the Gods a tribute by hibernating in meditation during the holidays. As though she would like to plan the following year and its new hidden secrecies in advance. She did approve of feeling in control of her own life. Aidan had come as a distraction of the changing winds. Daisy found some difficulty in placing him.

 

Aidan of his account could not find any plausible reason for her detached attitude, though he had the distinct impression that Daisy seemed to be quite fond of him.

 

 

 

Bearingham

 

They both, yet independently motivated were drawn to a second chance meeting at the gallery's cellar pub. Aidan had dragged himself out of bed, still suffering from a massive hangover, due to the butterflies in his stomach that had tempted him to drink in search for his by nature lacking courage. Daisy had bravely overcome her firm adversity of wet snow and below zero temperatures. She had, as the tram conductor had nearly given her a penny for her thoughts, obviously almost forgotten to get off the tram in time. Close to practising the art of slow motion, she subconsciously strolled towards the gallery. Mentally, she was still hibernating. Her dreams however now included the low but radiant winter suns waking her from her sleepwalk.

 

Aidan had already arrived beforehand. He was waiting at the bar and recuperating with the help of black coffee.

 

Daisy spotted him at once. She noticed at once that he did not look all that different with the lights on. At least that was a nice surprise. He did look a little bit rough though. He was not

a stranger to the morning after effects of white beer. Yet today he managed to keep a brave face quite effortlessly.

 

Aidan looked up from under his glasses as she came down the stairs.

 

- “So you have decided to make an appearance today.” he observed with a very pleased air.

- “I decided that I would like to see you with the lights on. I must say, I am not too disappointed. Apart from the fact that you look like something that the cat has just dragged in.", she smudged at him, just coping to keep his eyes open.

- “A good cold shower can do miracles in case of a solid hangover. I had about ten glasses last night. They remind me that I am bound to turn 32 soon. Still, it must be nerves as well. Did not think you would make it. I am glad you kicked that habit. I would not have waited for you a third time.” he stated.

 

“I am glad that you did wait. Somehow I could not figure out what you wanted. It restrained me from calling into the "Attic". But then again, I have always liked cellars better.", she replied with an intrinsic kind of apology.

 

Daisy was now ready to take in the images of the paintings in the gallery. Cheeky gnomes and benevolent trolls seemed to emerge out of every corner of the simple wooden frames. Their freshly concocted carriages seemed to carry them swiftly, ready to take over the universe, on some sort of a mission directed by Mother Earth herself. To Daisy, it seemed to be an adult made fairy tale.

 

- " Even the paintings look better during the day.", Daisy now mentioned.

- " Yes indeed.", Aidan's stomach decided to rumble back.

 

Bart, the artist who had made them, was considered a bright new, just born star, ready to conquer the artworld himself (like his tiny cheeky creatures) by most of the members of the gallery. However Aidan obeyed the rumbling of his stomach and decided:

 

 

- "Let's eat, we can't live on food for thought alone."

 

 

Since the Southern old Dock's quarter, were the gallery was situated, was quite poorly in appearance apart from some new and daring art-galleries, there were not many trust

worthy and recommandable diners or snackbars to be found. This called for an alterna

tive to be found. Thinking of the old docks that had now been drained and pa

ved, Aidan suddenly remembered the old but charming village of Bearingham, completely surrounded and close to being devoured in one piece by the seemingly enavitable approach of the large city's world leading container harbour.

Yet the present inhabitants had succeeded to preserve the ancient authenticity founded by their ancestors in engenuity.

The old trades were still to be found on this very secluded speck on Earth, it seemed like the walls of the village itself had become a shelter to prevent the craftsmen from becoming obsolete. In Bearingham, everything was both tiny but cosy and yet of purpose to both tourists and inhabitants, and let us not forget our two city-dwellers with an now fastly increasing urge for plain food.

Aidan and Daisy now climbed the stairs that led to the gallery's exit. His car was parked just in front. Daisy found herself entering a desolate looking car that safely could be described as the image of his owner. Considering a year in a car's life as counting for two, the age of the car must almost have matched his owners'. In addition, it's look embodied solitude, lonelyness and shabby

ness. Almost run down, but the engine still running strong and steady. Luckily Aidan did not act as noisy as his car. As he drove, maintained his calm through a contemplating silence, which granted the ride through the ancient and therefore narrowest of city streets an image of sacredness. Daisy respected this stillness he apparently needed to find his way through the labyrinth which was the city's only exit. It provided the old city centre the reputation of being a brooding nest for those most human of birds, actors, writers and artists alike, all of them with a rich plumage in various colours. The heavy rumbling of the starting diesel engine had now been melted down to a more re-assuring sound that resembled a satisfied tom

cat's purring. The motor was running smoothly and powerful. Without Daisy and Aidan noticing so, since they were sunken away in their dreams, they were now seemingly indefinitely leaving the city behind them to enter a newer more clean-cut and streamlined but concrete web that would lead to now longed for rustiqueness of Bearingham.

As their mutual silence had now reached a point beyond being comforting, the time was ripe to break it.

 

- "You're a good driver.", Daisy said with a tone of honesty in her voice. Normally, she would feel a bit insecure or act untrustingly as a passenger in an unfamiliar driver's car.

 

- " You're being a good passenger.",Aidan replied accordingly. " I don't like my passengers chattering away and interfering with my concentration. I like to relax while driving."

 

Although Aidan had been able to drive long before he had gotten his licence, he had always liked to keep his mind on the road and his senses dedicated to the car he was driving. He was proud to be a fast as well as a safe driver at the same time.

Daisy at this stage, noticed the speed per hour at display on the dashboard. To her pleasant surprise, she still felt secure and more than comfortable at a for her exceedingly dazzling speed of 160 km/hour. Speed was a factor that normally would have triggered a inherent franticity in Daisy's behaviour. Now it seemed to calm and reassure her. This very notion struck her as utterly strange, since she normally would boast about the fact that she could almost naturally relate to a snale or a turtle. Over the years she had willingly compensated her fears with the belief that in a previous life she was bound to have been either of those two masters in slow motion movement.

 

 

Feeling at ease with themselves and each other Daisy and Aidan roamed through the desolate harbour landscape. The metallic refinery’s construction seemed alien but very soothing and relaxing to Daisy who never before had had the idea to search for peace in these outskirts of the most industrial part of the harbour. Yet the science fiction like constructions seemed almost natural in place here and provided peace to the eye of our two passers by. It almost had the brightness of a rainforest, freshly watered by a tropical shower. Since dusk was falling, the millions of lights seemed like fireflies to Daisy who wondered if this would be the nature life of the future.

 

Having barely reflected upon these thoughts, Daisy noticed Aidan driving into the minute village of Bearingham, or rather it's by the city council provided car park for tourists. Soon after they got out, they started a stroll through the short but winding roads that led to the former market place. On their way they passed a cartoonist's workshop and a wooden shoemaker's manufacture. Here in the village they seemed to have settled naturally blending into the scenery. However, the overall impression that Daisy got of the village was one anachronism that she nevertheless seemed to find more and more appealing. While these reflections wandered through her mind Daisy and Aidan entered a small diner at the corner of the square.

They chose a table close to a window over viewing the market place and it's most prominent building and resumed conversation. 

As they were taking place, two somewhat elderly villagers cunningly observed them.

 

" Hey, wouldn't you at least try to look or act as if you two were in love? " the sharpest of the pair couldn't restrain himself from informing.

Daisy and Aidan gave themselves an introvert yet mysterious smile and sat themselves down.

" We're not in love " and enjoying every minute of it, they thought to themselves.

 

They, while roaming through the tempting but rudimentary menu, felt like the rustiqueness of the humble establishment as if it was being soaked into their skins. So intense the atmosphere was, it made them feel at ease even more. Yet they were fully aware of the fact that they were now about to eat in one of the few remaining parts of a once so blooming community. It struck Daisy that the larger part of the former village had been taken in by the steel refinery constructions they had passed before in the car, while on their way to the village. She could now appreciate the charms of such opposites.

She could also feel Aidan's presence. It was a warm and caring one, not overtaken by blind love, but rather given in by a feeling of mutual recognition which could be an onset to a hopefully lasting friendship. They just valued each other's company, nothing more, nothing less.

They both had ordered for a plain and simple meal: bacon and eggs which suited the pub just fine since it was called after this basic breakfast dish. Daisy particularly enjoyed the charms of the simpler things in life such as food, drink and a good night sleep. Aidan on the other hand had a pretty basic attitude towards life in general too, but up until now this attitude had only revealed itself in his hectic workaholic like personality. It seemed as if Aidan had the need to be working continuously in order to keep in touch with life it self. He needed to feel his existence through manual labour. 16-hour shifts were no exception to his daily routine which now had been broken by this day out in the outskirts of the big smoking city. The remains of the once so independent little community of Bearingham also seemed to provide him with a sense of shear existence. He felt he could share these emotions with Daisy without having to talk. Their body-language seemed evident at this stage. It seemed to express a certain security. Both Daisy and Aidan seemed to need this experience in their stage of life. They sensed they had to see each other again and agreed on a regular basis. Aidan longed for the long strolls he had made in the woods of the village he himself was a native of and informed:

 

" Would you like to take a walk in some real woods, instead of the steel replicas we just drove through before we got here "

" That would suit me just fine " Daisy replied.

 

 

She was not to know yet that Aidan particularly liked evening and night walks. At this moment she just found that Aidan's company was an inspiring one and assessed his overall persona

lity as being trustworthy.

They finally exchanged phonenumbers. Aidan would by now start calling her quite frequently

 

 

 

The woods

 

Daisy soon learned that punctuality was not one of Aidan's otherwise abundant qualities.

After their first outing together, they had decided to meet up more frequently.

Aidan had decided to echange the scenery for their shared quests for freedom from the iron woods of the refineries to the green forest of the Outskirts.

Yet he always seemed to be tied to the boats he working on with a knot was far stronger than the inner cry for freedom that by then was unconsciously emerging from within his soul.

They now would arrange to meet up in the early hours of Sunday afternoon. Daisy would be patiently waiting on her new found friend, for Aidan to arrive at her doorstep at five or six P.M. at the earliest.

So as a consequence their strolls in nature would be evening ones.

 

 

Daisy at first felt reluctant towards the idea of walking into the dark solitude of a nightly forest.

She was soon to discover that Aidan's intentions were honourable ones. She slowly but surely learned to feel the signals of comforting trust he was presenting her with. She learned to feel at ease in the complete darkness of a gloomy forest in the company of someone who had been a total stranger to her until a few weeks earlier at the occasion of their first chance encounter. She felt for the first time in her life that someone’s' tenderness could be sensed in the form of soothing vibrations and Daisy longed to be able to use this newly gained ability for the rest of her life.

Before this incident she had always been wondering about how one really could have any certainty of the bond of a friendship. Since there is no scientific instrument available for measuring human feelings or emotions, for Daisy the newly discovered sense of vibrations would provide her with such an instrument. From this instant onwards she would always try to receive another living creature's vibrations, let it be human, animal or even vegetarian. She had always been someone to act on her gut instincts, now she had become more conscious of her already firmly developed way of assessing encounters, situations or behaviour in general.

 

 

 

While Daisy had been receiving Aidan's vibrations, Aidan himself had become more conscious of Daisy's presence. Unconsciously, she had been sending vibrations of her own towards Aidan, who by now, not only felt the urge, but also the safety to confide in her.

 

 

 

He now resumed conversation. In Daisy's company he felt secure in enough to reveal some of the well kept secrets of the already past part of his life.

Like Daisy had already observed before, the lines in Aidan's face and neck revealed that he had been marked by life up until now.

 

Aidan now started telling about his childhood in the country, being the region he had been raised in.

At first he told little anecdotes, about the pastures and the woods behind their family-home, the cows the children had tried to chase, the squirrels in the trees at the back of the house. This atmosphere of pure nature being described was all very new and appealing for Daisy being city-bred.

 

 

 

Aidan had three sisters.

Together they made up all kinds of adventures and got into trouble trying out some of their childhood fantasies. Aidan, for being the eldest and the brother, ended up taking the blame and on some occasions had to suffer the broken bones; for instance: trying to rescue his sisters trapped up a tree. In any case, taking responsibility, came natural with Aidan's growing up. As his mother died rather young he acted as a surrogate mother for his younger sisters.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Guardian

 

As he was slowly but surely confiding into Daisy, she became aware of a slumbering feeling of recognition within her soul. She discovered she had known Aidan beyond the beginning of times. She wondered if it would be possible they both had lived previous lives. If so, they must have met before as kindred spirits. Reincarnation as a phenomena had by now gathered more points on the scale of plausibility for Daisy. Before she had always asked herself what became of an individual's soul after it had parted with the deceased's body.

 

 

While getting more and more tangled into Aidan’s web of loving gestures, she found herself becoming more and more secure since she had met Aidan.

He confided in her, in a way that no-one had done before. This gave her self confidence a boost and seemed to create a natural bond between them.

Yet during their long friendship there was never a moment that her inner self was able to get rid of a certain feeling of reluctance always guarding her from becoming too attached to Aidan.

 

Though they became lovers, they never engaged in a fully flegded relationship. Aidan possessed the power to have Daisy connect to him in a way that went with the flow. The friendship developed as if it was nature running it’s course.

 

Daisy felt safe being around Aidan. He could make her feel at ease, yet she always remained somewhat reluctant. It felt as if her third eye was spotting things that couldn’t be transformed yet to a visual form. This somewhat bothered Daisy. At times she took a sabbatical from this friendship between lovers. Yet she loved Aidan with whole of her heart, specially during the sabbaticals he took from the lover’s friendship that he rationally refused to allow to flow into a relationship, much to Daisy’s frustration.

 

To the outside world, they’d always passed as passionate lovers. Yet Daisy knew better. She was painfully aware of the fact that their friendship, yet always passionately consumed in bed at times, never could lead to a relationship or a marriage.

 

Aidan rectified his intentions by promising Daisy eternal friendship and explained his long periods of absence due to his working conditions. He assured Daisy he was protecting her as some sort of spiritual guardian angel. He explained he simply couldn’t commit to a relationship because there were to many missing links in his emotional growth to provide Daisy the stability needed in a relationship.

 

Every time Aidan and Daisy grew closer together, it would be time for him to part.

 

During their time apart, Daisy’s love for Aidan, grew stronger as absence makes the heart grow fonder…

This lonely longing for the unattainable love from Aidan would prevent her from committing herself to new friendships.

 

Aidan claimed they both were free to engage in relationship, though Daisy’s feelings where those of warm and genuine loving instead of those of a warm friendship while sharing a bed without love.

 

Daisy realised there was a thin line between love and friendship and was consciously aware of the line being crossed over and over again, due to the safety and protection the friendship provided her with.

 

The eternal trust she had in Aidan remained.

 

Could this explain why Daisy after experiencing so many vicious circles, still was convinced that Aidan was her Guardian Angel?

 

Particularly as they frequently engaged in nocturnal walks in Finchester’s Park

Author's Note

This onset needs editing when it comes to grammar, spelling, vocabulary and I've already decided to leave the original plot...

Reviews

[Midnightshadow]

*sniffs* that's so sweet. i love the story line ^_^