I'm Bitter

Today has been hard.

I am starting to come to the realization that our friendship is over.

I can feel myself becoming stronger each day.

I'm not shedding as many tears or dwelling on it.

Though that doesn't mean i don't think about it at all because i do.

I just have a feeling that while i am waiting for you.

I am not even crossing your mind.

that you wont be texting me any time soon.

The smiles that you gave me last week were just a show that you put on

which makes me angry because i know you didn't mean it.

thinking back i keep wondering, did you mean anything you said?

did anything we do and go through have any meaning or impact on you?

or am i just dreaming in thinking that i actually thought that you felt the same way.

I guess so considering that is what you told me the other night.

I'm not angry.

i'm bitter.

I'm lost.

I feel forgotten.

I can't help but feel like i meant nothing to you and i was just there for the go.

i hate to think that but now that is all i have left to think.

You left me with no other reasons..you gave me no explanation.

you just left me to think,wonder and assume the worst.

which, don't worry i have fully done.

I'm the negative thinker.

i never think positive because every time i do, i get hurt.

i think of the worst possible thing so then when it doesn't happen,

what ever does happen, doesn't seem that bad.

Its how i am forced to be after everything that has happened, i am afraid to be hurt again.

the biggest thing i think about is what if.

what if i was to pass away suddenly?

what would you do?

would you see how much you truly meant to me?

Or would you move on and be thankful that i was gone

because you wouldn't have me constantly nagging at you.

would you cry?

would you go to my funeral?

would you move on the next day?

what would you do?

That's what i keep thinking.

I wonder if i will be able to watch you when/if i pass to see how you are doing.

I guess...i expect so much from you because i would do so much for you.

What am i going to do without you...........i guess I'm going to have to figure that out now.

i can do it.

I'm strong enough.

i will make it.

Though I still haven't stopped loving you.

Author's Note

comments?? feedback would love anything! :) thanks for reading! hope you enjoyed!

Reviews

[❤ Maggie ❤..]

Oh my goodness. Wow. This is so amazing. I know exactly how this feels, although I've never been able to write down exact words to describe it. This is just amazing, honestly. Like it really shows the emotion and feelings. Great job on this!!

[Angelica]

Thank you as I am normally am not able to get the words out but poetry is my escape

[❤ Maggie ❤]

I agree I write alot of songs and its a nice way to get feelings out in private and so you can keep yourself calm around other people!

[Angelica]

Yes very true!!

[❤ Maggie ❤]

:)

[❤ Maggie ❤]

:)

[poetickeys]

This is very real and easy to relate to :)

I am very new to this site and would really appreciate if you could give feedback on my first and only piece..
Thanks and keep sharing your talent!

[Angelica]

Thank you, I am also very newish to this site, only been on for a few weeks but I definitely will!