Helpless

helplessness is the worst feeling in the world.

I have lots of online friends that mean everything to me. I feel its my job to help keep them happy, I want to carry their problems on my shoulders so they can be happy. So I'm the only one burdened with the pain they feel. The worst feeling is helplessness, hearing them cry but knowing you can't do anything. Hearing the news of one of your closest far away friends' suicide completely knocks you on your a*s. You are in shock, they were finally happy. You don't react like their family and your family expected, you stop eating,sleeping,drinking. Your life comes to a complete halt. You only stare into space, you can't even cry. You have to be forced water, your family gives up on trying to get you to eat. You stay like this for weeks. When you finally wake up from this trance you don't know what to do. A few months after this happens you take to injecting yourself with poison to feel something. After almost a year of that your romantic partner decides they can't handle the stress and pain of watching you hurt yourself repeatedly. You end up overdosing not long after they leave. Face it you're helpless in your own life. Helplessness is the worst feeling. But it's a feeling, the only one you've felt in a while.

Author's Note

another one of my lame life stories

Reviews

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Helplessness is something we experience only too often.. Like when you don't want someone to go out of your life but they are compelled to do for the greater good..
Heart-touching read..

[60s]

It really is a terrible feeling.. can relate to this on so many levels. Sometimes we don't realize it but we drown trying to be everyone else's anchor.