Should I Stay or Should I Go

If you’re here to read about the hit song by The Clash, you’ve unfortunately come to the wrong place; sorry if I’ve deceived you and left you completely upset. But I promise you, the title will play into this as we progress. So to get to my main point, how do we know if we should stay and keep fighting for something, or go and throw in the towel? And if what you’re fighting for happens to be a person and not a thing, then the situation is even tougher to judge and everyday turns into an internal battle. Believe me, it’s much easier said than done, and to be completely honest, I haven’t even mastered this skill.

 

In the famous words of Def Leppard, “Have you ever needed someone so bad? Have you ever wanted someone you just couldn’t have?” It’s difficult, it’s extremely painful, and it’s constantly on your mind. No matter how hard you try to forget the person, you physically and mentally cannot do it. They’re the first person you think of when you wake up in the morning, the last person you think of before you fall asleep, the only person you want to talk to when something goes well or doesn’t, and in some cases, like mine, they’ve decided to infiltrate your dreams and make a guest appearance every night. So even when your friends and family tell you to relax and get some rest, they don’t understand that you can’t even do that safely without having that person be the one constant thing on your mind. This then turns into several sleepless nights and a million memories running through your head.

 

So now, if you’re anything like me, the words ‘give up’ aren’t part of your vocabulary. So you can imagine how hard it is to even think of that as an option when you have a person in your life that you love so much and want to fight for. But what do you do when that person seems to not want to reach out and help this as much as you do? You sit up late at night and wrack your brain about what you could’ve done differently and anything and everything you can do or say to make the situation better. You over analyze and over think the decisions you made and replay everything that happened to see where you could’ve gone so wrong that the person decided to leave. You push and give your all to try and show the person you won’t give up, that you’ll fight for them no matter what. And even when you feel like you’ve exhausted all your resources and that all hope is lost, that little spark inside you decides to come back. It may not get stronger, but it doesn’t get weaker. It keeps telling you “One more day. Give your all to this person for one more day and if you don’t get the results you want, give up.” But here’s the thing, the spark doesn’t go away and you keep trying and fighting for that person. So that begs the question, does something eventually give?

 

Unfortunately, the answer to that differs for everyone and varies from situation to situation. Not everyone will understand your reasoning and not everyone will agree with you, and that’s perfectly okay. And I can say this, unless someone else is going through the same situation, they can’t tell you whether or not to move on. They don’t know exactly how you feel. So don’t feel weak because you’re still fighting, and don’t feel like you’re giving up too easily if you’re done. Everyone has their limit and knows when it’s been maxed out. You just have to judge for yourself and decide when enough is enough.

 

So after all this, I’ll leave you with a final question to ponder which I have been asked countless times: Is this person really worth it?

 

And since you’ve read through this whole thing up until this point, if you want the answer to my personal situation, it is always the same: Yes. My person is definitely and undoubtedly worth it.