Chapter Two

Chapter Two

What’s gonna kill you is the second part…

I think the only way you really know who you are is when that moment comes before your death. Where everything comes into perspective and you watch your life pass before your eyes as some say happens. There is a striking clarity in that moment where you see the person you have become. It is where you see how the good and even the bad have shaped you into the person that you are.

The reason behind my belief of not knowing who you are is because right now in this moment I have no clue who in the world I am. The memories are just vague blurs and the people are just blank faces in a crowded place. When someone speaks to me, I just give a simple-minded answer and hope that they will leave me alone without any questions.

The truth is, I am perfectly happy with the blank memories and the faceless people. That way I don’t remember him.

Yes, it is true. I don’t want to remember.

Every touch, every smell, and every word reminds me of him; the sweet things that he used to whisper in my ear and the wonderful aroma of him cooking for us on our dates… I am reminded of them constantly. The memories and people are just more that torment me at night while I lay awake.

I never loved you.

Those four words tore me apart.

So now, I have resorted to tearing other people apart. After all…what would the world be without underground fighting rings?

***

“Anna, you are going to get yourself killed this time!” Brooke said while watching me practice for the upcoming fight.

“Isn’t that the point?” I said between panting breaths.

I gave one final hit and kick to the punching bag before turning around and facing her.

“Brooke, you know why I am doing it. Maybe if he hadn’t left me I wouldn’t be doing this. If you want to complain to someone, then go to him and tell the story of how your dear, sweet, innocent Anna is trying to get herself killed. Just know that if you do, I will NEVER forgive you. I do not want to see him nor do I want him to have any more of a part in my life. I hate him Brooke! So why can’t you see that I don’t want to be here anymore!?” I yelled in her face instantly regretting my words.

She looked shocked to say the least. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but closed it again. She did that a couple of times before turning around with a jerk and heading towards the door. Just as she was about to walk out the door, she turned around and opened her mouth to speak.

“Fine, Anna. Go and get yourself killed, but I will not stick around and watch you do it. I’m done,” she spoke with a stone cold voice.

She then spun herself around and slammed the door, leaving me with the resounding sound of the door closing to echo through the room.

I sunk to the floor and just stared off into space blankly. I knew I should probably get up off the floor and run after her, but I didn’t want to. I was slowly pushing people away for their own good. She was just one of many on the list of people I needed to get rid of.

I pushed myself up from the cold mat and headed toward the door. I needed to get rid of all this stupid frustration! It was time to go out and have fun.

---

Loud music vibrated the walls around the club I was in showing that the night was in full swing. The mingling bodies in the crowd smelled of sweat and desire and I was more than happy to give into the temptation to join them.

I was up against some man who was happily dragging his hands all over my finest assets and I couldn’t care less; the one who they belonged to had made it extremely clear that he didn’t want them. I could feel every inch of this man and knew that he was very well built. I hadn’t yet seen his face, but something told me he was quite attractive.

I was sinuously moving my body against his and could hear him panting with his growing lust. I gradually brought my hands above my head searching for his neck. Once I found the back of his neck, I leaned my head to the side and drug his lips down to my own neck urging him to do whatever he wanted with his mouth.

He finally started doing what I wanted him so badly to do when I was ripped apart from him forcefully. I fell on my butt to the floor and searched around until I found who had done it. Standing in between the dude and I was a very mad redhead who looked ready to rip my throat out.