94. It Builds Up...

:3

*In England/TARDIS/Whatnot*

 

*For hours, Megan, Mayisha, Jocelyn and I have been fighting with the door, bashing it with almost everything that we can find within the TARDIS*

 

Megan: It’s no use. Genghis Khan couldn’t even get through those doors.

 

Mayisha: GENGHIS KHAN IS MY HERO BECAUSE WE SHARE THE SAME LAST NAME.

 

Me: It’s a sign!

 

Mayisha: I KNOW, RIGHT?!

 

Me: *strokes the door* Darling, I’m sorry. We have to get out. We have to help the Doctor.

 

*Suddenly, the door clicks open*

 

Jocelyn: What just happened?

 

Me: Err, I think the TARDIS just opened her doors for us.

 

Megan: All TARDISes have minds of their own, after all.

 

Me: Thank you, Sexy!

 

Jocelyn: No. Just… no.

 

Mayisha: How about no?

 

Me: *pouts* Why not?

 

Megan: It’s okay when the Doctor calls her sexy because he’s a male and she’s a female. But it’s just… weird when you call her sexy.

 

Me: I’M JUST AKNOWLEDGING HER SEXINESS.

 

Megan, Mayisha, and Jocelyn: …

 

Me: Fine. Fine! *storms out the door*

 

*Mayisha, Megan, Jocelyn and I run down the street when we suddenly come to a halt when we see no one other than THE MASTER everywhere we look. Who’s now staring at us*

 

Me: Um, what the s**t?

 

Mayisha: I’m officially freaked out.

 

Jocelyn: And it takes a lot to freak her out.

 

Megan: M-Master?

 

*Suddenly, all the creeper Masters come after us, smiling creepily.*

 

Me: RRRRUUUNNNNN!!!

 

*We take off down the street, with the creeper Masters chasing after us. Somehow -- and I’m emphasizing the SOMEHOW because I really don’t know how the hell this came to be. Seriously -- we end up running into a building… and then into a room where the Master is standing in a black emo hoodie and in mascara. The Doctor is strapped to a chair, and Wilfred is tied to a chair. What’s the Master’s obsession with chairs, it seems? Oh, and there’s a big Stargate replica in front of us*

 

Me: WHAT THE RASSILON IS GOING ON HERE?!

 

Master: You!

 

Me: Me? *gestures to self*

 

Master: Why haven’t you changed?

 

Jocelyn: *to the Doctor* What the heck does he mean?

 

Doctor: Mmrf! *mouth is covered by a strap*

 

Me: We were… in the TARDIS?

 

Master: WHERE IS THE TARDIS?!

 

Jocelyn: Yeah, like we’re telling you.

 

Megan: M-Master?

 

Master: Who are you?!

 

Me: WOULD YOU STOP FREAKING YELLING WITH THE EXCLAMATION POINTS AND THE QUESTION MARKS TOGETHER LIKE THAT?!

 

Master: …

 

Me: THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT!

 

Master: Can someone knock her out?

 

Me: At least he didn’t put a exclamation point with that question mark.

 

Master: SHUT UP!!

 

Me: See, you’re doing better!

 

Clone Master: *moves forward to knock me out*

 

Me: *pulls out sonic* MWHAHAHA. I has sonic! YOU CANNOT COME NEAR ME!

 

Clone Master: *comes up behind me and whacks me on the head*

 

Me: Yah got meh… *collapses to the floor, still clutching her sonic*

 

Jocelyn, Megan, and Mayisha: OLIVIA!

 

Doctor: MF MERV!

 

Master: What’s that Doctor? *goes over to him and rips off the strap*

 

Doctor: MY LOVE!

 

Master: Your… what?

 

Doctor: *struggles in the chair* LET ME OUT!

 

Master: Oh, I liked it better when you were quiet. *puts the strap back on*

 

Doctor: MFDGDRGOJTRIIGETI!!

 

Wilfred: *randomly* What’s going on here?

 

Mayisha: Oh. I forgot he was here.

 

Wilfred: SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT’S HAPPENING?!

 

Mayisha: OOC much.

 

Jocelyn: NOW WILFRED’S USING THE EXCLAMATION POINTS AND THE QUESTION MARKS!

 

Doctor: MAHF!

 

Master: Now tell me… Why does the Doctor call his mysterious girl his “love”?

 

Megan: Leave her alone! *backhands him*

 

Master: *stands up, his face red where she hit him* You’re quite the fiery one, aren’t you?

 

Megan: YOU’RE NOT HIM! YOU’RE NOT THE MASTER!

 

Master: What are you talking about? Of course I’m the Master! The Master of all!

 

Jocelyn: *mutters* Yeah right.

 

Doctor: DPOG TWERL HSDOF!

 

Master: Um, what was that, Doctor?

 

Doctor: DPOG TWERL HSDOF!!

 

Megan: *tilts head* Don’t tell him what?

 

Mayisha: You speak Doctor-through-the-strap?

 

Megan: It’s quite easy, actually. All Time Lords can do it.

 

Master: Wait… What?

 

Doctor: RKGN TRTGITG GKHGH NTIHIT TO KGNRI HGJO…

 

Jocelyn: Translation, please?

 

Megan: He said: “I told you not to tell him…”. Wait… OH!

 

Mayisha: Oh what?

 

Megan: HE DOESN’T WANT ME TO TELL THE FAKE MASTER THAT I’M A TIME LORD!

 

*silence*

 

Master: How are you a time lord? There’s only the Doctor and I left!!

 

Megan: Well--

 

Doctor: RGJHTRGI FKER GKRGR THUR GRHEOI!!!

 

Megan: Fine, FINE!

 

Jocelyn: What’d he say?

 

Megan: “Don’t go into the details”.

 

Master: I WANT TO KNOW.

 

Megan: TOO BAD!

 

Master: *goes over to the Doctor* *un-straps him* TELL. ME.

 

Doctor: there’s one thing though, first.

 

Master: And that’s that, Doctor. *spats*

 

Doctor: With three billion pairs of eyes you still can’t see it.

 

Master: SEE. WHAT.

 

Doctor: *gestures* That guard is three inches too tall.

 

*As the Master turns around, the guard whacks him upside the head and he falls to the ground*

 

Mayisha: WHO EVER SAID VIOLENCE SOLVES NOTHING?!

 

Jocelyn: Someone really dumb.

 

Guard: *pulls off his helmet* *it’s a cactus!* Oh my! I… hit him!

 

Jocelyn: IT’S A CACTUS!

 

Cactus: That’s rude! My name is Rossiter, I’m a VINVOCCI not a CACTUS.

 

Other Cactus Lady: Addams. Now let’s skip the introductions and get out of here!

 

*Instead of un-strapping the Doctor, they wheel him out of there. Jocelyn and Mayisha manage to get me from the ground, but Megan brings up the rear. One of the guards manages to grab her when the rest of them are going out*

 

Megan: DOCTOR!

 

Doctor: No! No! We have to go back and save Megan!

 

Addams: There’s no time! Let’s go!

 

*They wheel and carry the Doctor and I to the gear in which they transport themselves to the Vinvocci ship. The guards destroy the return gear as the Doctor destroys the power on the ship*

 

Addams: No! What are you doing?

 

Doctor: They’ve got all the missiles in the world trained on US!

 

Jocelyn: Just let him do his job!

 

*The entire ship is now down*

 

Addams: Now LOOK what you’ve done.

 

Mayisha: I think he just saved our lives.

 

Doctor: Everyone’s but Megan’s…

Author's Note

Megan gave me the BEST idea of how to proceed with this (don't tell them Megs!) so yesh. I'm sorry about the longness, I just couldn't stop! :3 Looks like the funny won't be taking a vacation, this is a LOT less angsty than I pictured it. *can't wait to keep writing*

I'M PUMPED! ARE YOU?! *does the Master's exclamation point/question mark*

Reviews

[~goh~]

I enjoy speaking "Doctor-through-the-strap". YESH, MORE HUMOR. IT IS LOVE.
I AM PUMPED?! OF COURSE I AM!!!

[Roxi L]

Bahh I loved it and I love the funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOOOOOOO PUMPED

Writing keeps the dream alive
~V~

[Some Random Person.]

Sure... Don't tell me... And yes... Just not as pumped as you....

[compositionc]

OMG
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMOMGOMGOKMGOMGOMGOKMGOMGOMOMGOMGOMGOMGOGMG

I BLEW UP THE SHIP!? DUDE, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO THAT,
AHMAZING

[The Timelord]

THIS IS AN AMAZING CHAPTER. OLIVIA YOU ARE AMAZING. YAY! I GAVE YOU A GOOD IDEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Aurora Lynn]

THIS. IS. AMAZING! *spaz spaz spaz spaz*

One mistake though. 'With three billion pairs of eyes you still can’t see it.' It's SIX billion pairs of eyes. SIX billion. GET IT RIGHT!!!