81. IT'S LIKE TAYLOR LAUTNER!

*In Haven, Maine*

 

*Hotch, Reid and I approach the house that belongs to Brandon Grant up on the hill. I’m still skipping from my successful encounter with Duke Crocker, and Hotch and Reid are pulling out their guns*

 

Me: Whoa, whoa, hey. What do you need those for?

 

Reid: just in case, you know, he turns into a wolf.

 

Me: Oh, so you believe me now. *smug grin*

 

Reid: No… Just in case.

 

Hotchner: It’s best to be prepared.

 

Me: Okay.

 

*We open the door. “Everything’s Just Wonderful” by Lily Allen is playing at full blast within. I start to softly sing along*

 

Me: Oh Jesus Christ all mighty, do I feel all right? No, not slightly.

 

Reid: You know this song?

 

Me: Yup. Poor guy. He’s listening to Lily Allen.

 

Hotchner: And she’s bad?

 

Me: Her song is like Mayisha’s stories -- lot’s of f words.

 

Hotchner: …Oh.

 

*Suddenly, a guy comes out of nowhere, holding a bowl of dog bones. Cliché enough*

 

Guy: *most likely Brandon Grant* Who’re you?

 

Hotchner: Agent Hotchner, FBI. You’re under arrest for questionable behavior. *goes over to cuff him*

 

Brandon: What?! No! *whirls around*

 

Reid: After him!

 

*We chase him until he jumps out the window, smashing it to pieces, and while he’s in the air, his body explodes, sending all his clothes on the ground. They’re in pieces as well. When the three look at him again, he’s a wolf now, furry and all, snarling and bounding the hill. Before they know, he’s gone*

 

Reid: Well…

 

Me: IT’S LIKE TAYLOR LAUTNER.

 

Hotchner: Who?

 

*Before I can answer that he’s an actor from the most terrible movie that is Twilight (the name is taboo), a car pulls up in the front of Brandon’s house. Out pops Agent Parker and Chief Wuornos, and they don’t look happy. They come into the house with guns and point it at the three of them, who point their guns at them. I, which much clumsiness and stuff, pull out my own gun at point it at them*

 

Me: You feelin’ lucky? Do yah, punk?

 

Nathan: …what?

 

Me: Why, you’ve never seen Clint Eastwood?

 

Reid: *interrupts* That’s besides the point.

 

Nathan: What are you doing here? I thought I told you to leave. We’re HANDLING it.

 

Me: APPARENTLY, you’re not handling it enough. *gestures to the broken window* He just freaking turned into a freaking wolf and jumped out the freaking window. And you’re asking US what WE’RE doing here?! Maybe you should--

 

Hotchner: *quietly* Liv, you’re rambling again.

 

Me: Well… Too bad! *pouts*

 

Audrey: I thought you said you knew about the Troubles?

 

Nathan: They know about this?

 

Audrey: I overheard them in the restaurant.

 

Me: Eavesdropping is more like it, Agent Parker.

 

Nathan: You guys were snooping around even though I told you to leave!

 

Me: Obviously, you don’t have good control over the town, Nathan.

 

Nathan: That’s Chief Wuornos to you.

 

Me: I can call you whatever the hell I want, NATHAN. ’Cause you don’t know who Clint Eastwood is, and that’s just a shame.

 

Nathan: I never said I didn’t know who he was…

 

Me: WELL YOU DIDN’T KNOW WHEN I QUOTED DIRTY HARRY.

 

Reid: Who?

 

Hotchner: Oh boy…

 

Audrey: Enough! We’re taking you downtown.

 

Me: YOU CAN’T TAKE US DOWNTOWN. WE’RE FREAKING FBI AGENTS. THAT’S PART OF WHY I BECAME ONE.

 

Audrey: Why…?

 

Me: SO THAT WE CAN DO WHATEVER THE HELL WE WANT AND GET AWAY WITH IT.

 

Reid: Let’s just go.

 

Me: Wow, you give us easily, genius.

 

Reid: Well I don’t want to lose my job.

 

Me: Fine. Just… no.

 

Hotchner: Let’s go.

 

Me: OKAY!~

 

Reid: Oh, so you listen to him?

 

Me: I’M IN LOVE WITH THIS MAN.

 

Nathan: Shush! *loads us into his truck*

Author's Note

Uh oh! We've been caught! What's going to happen next...?

WILL JOCELYN EVER FIND HER BANANA?!

Reviews

[Roxi L]

Jocelyn needs her banana!

Writing keeps the dream alive
~Roxi/V~

[Some Random Person.]

Jocelyn should get her banana. Nathan's always that stupid...

[Aurora Lynn]

I NEED TO GET MY BANANA. IT IS A REQUIREMENT OF LAW. Great, now you're making me want a banana more than usual. Thanks a lot.

NATHAN, STOP BEING SO MEAN.

[compositionc]

NO
TWILIGHT REFERENCES
ALLOWED IF YOU WANT ME TO BE SEMI SANE

NYANCATNYANCAT

STUPID NATHAN. HE BE KNOWING NOTHING, MAHN.
LOLZ.
UHM/.
YES
I
HOPE JOCELYN GETS HER BAANANANNANANANANANA
AND THEN
THEY ESCAPE

[~goh~]

You shall escape in full FBI glory :3 Guns blazing and all. Stupid Nathan. You're not being very nice.
I HATE TAYLOR LAUGHNER AND ALL THAT IS TWILIGHT. That was a bad movie then, and it's a bad movie now.
I hope Jocelyn finds her banana...