45. Jealousy Amongst Men

A Chapter by halflives

*Landing in Salt Lake City, Utah*

*The BAU and their consultants are gathered around the computer which shows Garcia’s picture. Hotch is talking*

Hotchner: …Agent Scully, Agent Mulder, Prentiss and Reid, you go check out the crime scene. JJ, Morgan, Jocelyn, Megan, Gideon, and Mayisha, go to the local police station and see what they have on the case at the moment. Smith, her BOYFRIEND *scowls* and I will talk to Katie’s family.

Morgan: Sounds good.

*We land. Each group goes in a separate SUV.*

*With Hotch, the Doctor, and I*

*Hotch and I are sitting in the front seat, Hotch driving. The Doctor sits in the back, arms folded, pouting*

Doctor: Why does it have to be ME that sits in the back.

Me: Because I don’t trust you to drive.

Doctor: I’m nine-hundred-and-six. I’m pretty sure I can drive better than Agent Hotchner can.

Hotchner: You’re HOW old?

Doctor: I meant ninety six. That’s young yes?

Me: *sighs, putting my head in my hands*

Hotchner: So you’re NINETY-SIX?

Me: He’s joking around. The Doctor is thirty.

Doctor: THIRTY? That means I’m practically still a baby!

Hotchner: *whispers* Is he… right in the head?

Me: *shakes my head* He’s… a case.

Doctor: I LIKE TO WHISPER TOO.

Hotchner: Can we be serious now?

Doctor: Oh, I HATE being serious.

Hotchner: Do you, now? What if someone dies.

Doctor: Oh, then I’m serious.

Me: Hotch is always serious.

Doctor: I don’t understand what you see in him. The man NEVER smiles.

Me: Would you?

Doctor: I’ve seen more death than he has in his entire life!

Hotchner: *is angry* Have you, now?

Doctor: Don’t forget, I committed genocide!

Me: Doctor!

Hotchner: You WHAT?!

Me: Nothing. Nothing.

Doctor: Why, he doesn’t know?

Me: DUH!

Doctor: Oh…

Hotchner: Know what?

Me: NOTHING! Really.

Hotchner: Is there something I should know?

Me: No, Hotchy.

Hotchner: I thought I told you to stop calling me that.

Me: When did I start listening to what you said?

Hotchner: *sighs*

Doctor: Don’t worry, “Hotch”. She’s always like this.

Hotchner: Did I give you permission to call me “Hotch”?

Doctor: …Well she calls you “Hotch”.

Hotchner: She’s also part of my team.

Doctor: And you have a crush on her.

Hotchner: *turns red* I do not!

Me: Hotchy~ *is overjoyed*

Doctor: WHAT?! Olivia, you’re supposed to back me up!

Me: By saying I love him back?

Doctor: NO! By saying you love me more than you could ever love a human!

Hotchner: A HUMAN?

Me: WOULD YOU STOP!

Doctor: *shouts something in a foreign language*

Me: *shouts back in the same language*

Hotchner: COULD YOU PLEASE SAY SOMETHING THAT I CAN UNDERSTAND?

Me: …Hotchy, my love, this is why I love you.

Doctor: *sighs, defeated*

Hotchner: Why?

Me: BECAUSE YOU PUT UP WITH US~

Hotchner: *looks back at the road* That’s the easy part.

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© 2011 halflives

Author's Note

I HAD SO MUCH FUN WRITING THIS. And the X-Files people are not the only ones that I'm putting in. I'll also put in people from X-Men (oh boy, Hotch and Doc will have MORE competition), Supernatural, Warehouse 13, Eureka, Bones, Haven, Inception, and some other things.