13. Well That's Bloody Brilliant

A Chapter by halflives

I'm such a dunce.

*In Seattle, Washington*

*Hotch, Reid, Gideon and I are pulling up to the crime scene, the warehouse. I look down at my the Killers t-shirt and skinny jeans*

Me: Uh… I’m not sure if I’m fit to be a FBI agent at a crime scene.

Gideon: What makes you say that?

Me: Uh… *gestures to my clothing*

Hotchner: You look fine.

Reid: Here. *takes off his tie and puts it on me* Very official.

Me: *rolls eyes, grinning*

*We exit the SUV. The detective on the case is standing amidst a group of official-looking officers. She approaches us, looking more cheerful than one would usually be when approaching a crime scene*

Detective: Hi, I’m Detective Elroy, the head detective on this case. You must be the BAU?

Hotchner: Yes. I’m SSA Hotchner, this is SSA Gideon, Dr. Reid, and AIT Smith.

*While Hotch and Elroy are discussing the case, I lean close to Reid*

Me: What’s AIT stand for?

Reid: Agent-In-Training.

Me: *rubs hands together* I’m an agent in training!

Hotch: *turns back to Reid, Gideon and I* Reid, Smith, go check out the crime scene and see if you can get anything from it. Gideon, you and I will go and talk to the present police that stayed the night.

Me: Gotcha.

*Reid and I approach the crime scene. The body is still there, the blood and slashes even more gruesome-looking than the pictures. I wrinkle my nose at it, and turn to Reid. He’s putting on latex gloves. I do the same*

Me: Do you ever get used to it?

Reid: Used to what?

Me: The blood. And the bodies.

Reid: Nope. It gets better, but I never get used to it.

Me: Comforting.

*Reid gives the body a once-over*

Me: *hears noises down the hall* Do you hear that?

Reid: Hear what?

Me: That. *Bangs sound again*

Reid: Yeah, I hear it.

Me: Do you have a gun?

Reid: *understands* No, Smith. That’s rash.

Me: …That’s what Hotch would do. *pouts*

*Something bangs again*

Me: *stands up* God damn it, I’m going after it.

Reid: *stage whispers, standing up as well* But what if it’s the UnSub?

Me: Then we’ll have caught him. *walks cautiously down the hallway*

Reid: Smith!

Me: *turns a corner, and loses him*

*After a bit of scouting, I turn up with nothing. That’s when I realize that I have no clue where I am*

Me: Oh, that’s bloody BRILLIANT. I’m lost. At a PUCKING CRIME SCENE.

*I walk mindlessly down the hallway*

Me: HELLOOOOO?

*Nobody answers*

*There’s a bang*

Me: HOLY MOTHER OF FREAKING RASSILON’S MOTHER! *runs in every which way* *trips after a while*

Me: Ow… *looks down*

*I tripped over a body!*

Me: Holy-- *steps back, staring*

*I remember my cell phone*

Me: God-damn, I’m suck a dunce. *picks up my phone and dials Hotch*

Hotchner: *on the phone* Hotchner.

Me: Can I tell you something and you not get mad at me?

Hotchner: …depends.

Me: I’m lost. In the warehouse.

Hotchner: Nice.

Me: Hey, but I found a dead body!

Hotchner: You found a BODY?

Me: Yeah.

Hotchner: What does it look like?

Me: She’s a woman, that’s for sure. Her throat and stomach are slashed. And… ooh, it’s dark in here… I can’t tell…

Hotchner: Damn it. I’ll send in a squadron to find you.

Me: NO! No.

Hotchner: Why?

Me: That’s the last thing I want. I don’t want to be the center of embarrassment when the squad finds me lost in a crime scene.

Hotchner: You told me.

Me: I told you because I found a body.

Hotchner: Why did you stray from Reid anyway?

Me: …I hear noises.

Hotchner: Noises?

Me: Now that I think about it, it sounded like someone being dragged.

Hotchner: And there’s the body. *pauses* Maybe the person has little strength to carry, they have to drag them?

Me: But there’s not blood skid marks. There’s only blood on the body. Could the UnSub have been dragging something else?

Hotchner: What else could they have been dragging?

Me: Was there someone on guard here?

Hotchner: Hold on. *his voice becomes distant because he is yelling to someone* *returns to the phone* The guard around there isn’t answering her phone.

Me: Could the UnSub have knocked her out, then dragged her away?

Hotchner: It’s possible.

Me: Great.

Hotchner: How are we going to find you?

Me: *I hear Reid* Reid’s found me.

Hotchner: Reid’s with Gideon.

Me: Find Gideon and Reid, and you’ll find the body.

Hotchner: *laughs slightly* Good job for your first scouting mission, AIT Smith.

Me: Why thank you, SSA Hotchner.

*I hang up the phone*

*Reid and Gideon approach me. Gideon shines his flashlight on the body*

Reid: Ooh.

Me: My reaction exactly. Only, I tripped over the body.

Gideon: *shines his flashlight on my form*

*I’m covered with blood*

Gideon: I’ll tell Hotch our location. He can get the body. Meanwhile, let’s get you cleaned up.

Me: Maybe I can get more official clothes.

Reid: *notices* Oh, my tie!

Me: *hands it to him* Here. The only thing on me that isn’t bloody.

Reid: *grins*

Gideon: *mutters* Typical Reid, only cares about his tie.

Reid: *defends himself* NOT TRUE!

Gideon and I: *laugh*

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© 2011 halflives

Author's Note

Me and the BAU bonding time. Throughout this, you'll find that i'm pretty much the only serious one that REALLY wants to connect with the BAU members and earn a job as a profiler. No offence, others.
Oh, in case you haven't guessed yet, Jocelyn Sterling is Aurora Lynn, and Mayisha Khan is Operative Fafa. :D