3. That's Not Awkward AT ALL!

Reminder: I own NOTHING but my own creations.

*At Quantico*

 

*While Olivia is at the hospital, under surgery for her shot, SSA Gideon is sitting across from Mayisha in one room, SSA Hotchner (the leader of the BAU) is sitting across from Jocelyn in another room, and SSA Morgan is sitting across from Megan in the third interrogation room. There is a dim light above all of the room.*

 

*In Agent Gideon and Mayisha’s room, Agent Gideon is sipping lightly from a cup of coffee*

 

Agent Gideon: *offers* Coffee?

 

Mayisha: *shakes her head* I don’t drink.

 

Agent Gideon: *is weirded out* Right. Now--

 

Mayisha: Can I call you Gideon?

 

Agent Gideon: …sure.

 

Mayisha: YAYZ!

 

Gideon: …okay. Now, I noticed that you and your friends are not registered citizens anywhere. The only reason we know you is because of your sightings on the internet.

 

Mayisha: What kind of sightings?

 

Gideon: People take pictures of strange events. You and your friends seem to be at the front of everything strange.

 

Mayisha: What can I say? It’s in the job description?

 

Gideon: You and your friends--

 

Mayisha: I would say that Olivia is the closest we have to a “leader”.

 

Gideon: All right. Why is that?

 

Mayisha: Well, Olivia keeps us--

 

Gideon: No, I mean why are you guys always at the head of each strange thing?

 

Mayisha: It’s a bit of a hobby.

 

Gideon: Hobby?

 

Mayisha: Yeah. We save people’s lives as a side job.

 

Gideon: What’s your main job?

 

Mayisha: Traveling around in a telephone box.

 

Gideon: *sighs, putting his head in his hand*

 

*In Agent Hotchner and Jocelyn’s room, Agent Hotchner stands hovering over Jocelyn*

 

Agent Hotchner: You aren’t registered citizens. You know that, right?

 

Jocelyn: I do now.

 

Agent Hotchner: *sighs* Jocelyn Sterling, you said your name was?

 

Jocelyn: Yup.

 

Agent Hotchner: Now--

 

Jocelyn: Can I call you Hotchner?

 

Agent Hotchner: …I’d prefer--

 

Jocelyn: Yay! Hiya, Hotchner!

 

Hotchner: All right then. Now, who are you?

 

Jocelyn: Jocelyn Sterling, ultra DUH!

 

Hotchner: I know that. WHO are you. As in, who do you work for?

 

Jocelyn: …myself.

 

Hotchner: You are ALWAYS, without fail, in every strange event that’s ever been recorded this year and last year. Why?

 

Jocelyn: It’s in the job description.

 

Hotchner: Right. What job description, might I ask?

 

Jocelyn: Olivia made it up. Well, Olivia and the Doctor that is.

 

Hotchner: who is the “Doctor”?

 

Jocelyn: Olivia’s boyfriend, DUH.

 

Hotchner: Okay. What did they make up?

 

Jocelyn: We help the world by attending strange events and stopping them.

 

Hotchner: Help the WORLD? Like environmental activists?

 

Jocelyn: Not exactly…

 

Hotchner: Then elaborate.

 

Jocelyn: We’re more of… Travelers.

 

Hotchner: Travelers?

 

Jocelyn: Yup. We go around the planet and save the world.

 

Hotchner: How long have you been doing this?

 

Jocelyn: For two years now.

 

Hotchner: And this “Doctor” you mentioned. Olivia Smith’s boyfriend. What is his real name?

 

Jocelyn: the Doctor.

 

Hotchner: He’s literally called “the Doctor”?

 

Jocelyn: Yup. Pretty much. We don’t know his REAL, REAL name.

 

Hotchner: Olivia has a boyfriend that she doesn’t even know his real name?

 

Jocelyn: Well of course SHE does. Duh. We just don’t.

 

Hotchner: We being…?

 

Jocelyn: Mayisha, Megan and I. I’m not sure if Megan’s boyfriend does.

 

Hotchner: And Megan’s boyfriend is…?

 

Jocelyn: the Master.

 

Hotchner: OF COURSE that’s his name…

 

*In Agent Morgan and Megan’s room, Agent Morgan is standing, not sitting, on the other side of the table. Megan is inspecting her shoes*

 

Agent Morgan: I’ll save you the time of asking, so yes, you can call me Morgan.

 

Megan: Cool.

 

Morgan: You seem to be quieter than the others.

 

Megan: No, I’m just less liable to give you information.

 

Morgan: Do you have anything to hide?

 

Megan: Nope. *pops the “p”*

 

Morgan: That’s what they all say in the beginning.

 

Megan: THAT’S MAYISHA’S LINE!

 

Morgan: Hey now! There’s a loud side to the mouse.

 

Megan: I’M A FREAKING NINJA. DON’T DOUBT ME!

 

Morgan: Okay, okay. I won’t.

 

Megan: Thank you.

 

Morgan: no problem. You’re a “ninja”, you say?

 

Megan: Yup.

 

Morgan: Ninja as in…?

 

Megan: I take Karate. I’m a little more than a black belt.

 

Morgan: Interesting…

 

Megan: why, does that matter?

 

Morgan: Yes.

 

Megan: Darn it, I just gave away valuable information!

 

Morgan: …that’s what you’re supposed to do.

 

Megan: Unless you’re evil.

 

Morgan: I’m with the FBI.

 

Megan: Oh yeah? What branch?

 

Morgan: I’m a profiler. Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan. I’m part of the BAU.

 

Megan: BAU?

 

Morgan: Behavior Analysis Unit.

 

Megan: Which means?

 

Morgan: We study criminal minds.

 

Megan: Whoa!

 

Morgan: What?

 

Megan: Like the show? Criminal Minds?

 

Morgan: There’s no show called Criminal Minds…

 

Megan: Wait… is there a person on your team named Hotch?

 

Morgan: Yeah, our leader. SSA Aaron Hotchner. Hotch, we call him, for short.

 

Megan: HOLY CRAP!

 

Morgan: What?

 

Megan: ARE WE DESTINED TO BE LIVING IN A TV SHOW!?

 

Morgan: *takes a step back*

 

Megan: …okay, that’s not awkward AT ALL.

 

Morgan: You under control?

 

Megan: I never said I wasn’t.

 

Morgan: You looked it.

 

Megan: …

 

Morgan: You said that you’re in a TV show?

 

Megan: My and Olivia’s boyfriends are from a TV show, and so are you guys.

 

Morgan: What are you talking about.

 

Megan: Olivia and Mayisha are obsessed with a TV show called “Criminal Minds”.

 

Morgan: So?

 

Megan: It’s about the BAU and some guy called Hotch.

 

Morgan: …oh.

 

Megan: Yeah oh.

 

Morgan: I gotta go talk to Garcia. *walks over to the door*

 

Megan: Garcia?

 

Morgan: She’s… oh, never mind. *shuts the door behind him*

 

Megan: DON’T LEAVE ME HERE ALOOOOOONE!!!!

Author's Note

Why isn't anyone reading this... Dx
Anywho, it's fun to write!

Reviews

[Sarah E. Pearson]

this is so amazingly hilarious!! when you first started posting it i was like "eh its in script form i dont wanna read it" but then i started reading and this is amazingly hilarious! alright enough comment on to the next chapter!

[Jake Donald Stephens]

Gaah! It's so hilarious, it doesn't need to make sense!
Still loving the heck out of it.

.novelists.elite.info.
.display. .jake.008.
.memberID. 008
.division. I
.division.leader. Wesley
.name. Jake
.username. DesertKing
.novels. Cliff, Night Breed, Journey of the Kervant, Back To The Shack, The Cult, The Purple Rift
.status. Role Model, Novelist, noelwrimo Champion
.noelwrimo.wordcount. 30,271
.join date. 03-24-2011

[Roxi L]

Haha this is too funny!

Writing keeps the dream alive
~V~

[~goh~]

Crossover FTW!
Where are the Doctor and the Master anyway?

[compositionc]

LOLZ

[Aurora Lynn]

I'm reading this, Olivia. I am ALWAYS reading it. *is being shot for being a stalker*