0. Prologue

Me: Err… *taps microphone* Is this thing on? *receives encouraging remarks from the agents behind the sound booth* Uh, okay. My name is, um, *microphone squeals* Oh! Oh, okay. Ow, that was loud. *taps microphone again* You okay now? You under control?

 

Unseen Agent: *checks his watch* We haven’t all day!

 

Me: Oh, okay. Sorry. Hello, my name is Olivia Smith. I’m, err… *turns to the agent* Do I have to do this?

 

Unseen Agent: *nods yes enthusiastically*

 

Me: Okay. Just, uh, skip the part about my age. I was asked to talk to you about what happened to me at the BAU. Uh, that’s the Behavior Analysis Unit. It’s part of the FBI. Where the agents don’t only answer the how and who of murders, but also the why. What’s going on the in UnSub’s -- that’s what we call our murderers -- mind at the time they kill.

 

Unseen Agent: That’s nice, Olivia. What happened to you?

 

Me: Well, my friends and I were, shall we say, strange. My best friend, her boyfriend, and my own boyfriend are aliens called Time Lords. Time Lords are--

 

Familiar Voice: Olivia…!

 

Me: Alright, [name removed for sake of spoilers]! I’ll get moving. Jesus, don’t you people appreciate introductions?

 

Second Familiar Voice: Apparently [same name removed for sake of spoilers] is impatient.

 

Me: Right… You think--

 

Both Familiar Voices: OLIVIA!

 

Me: ALL RIGHT, JEEZE!

 

First Familiar Voice: Thank you.

 

Me: MY NAME IS OLIVIA SMITH, AND THIS IS THE STORY OF HOW MY FRIENDS AND I GOT INTO THE BAU AND WORKED FOR THEM. How’s that?

 

Third Familiar Voice: *is deafened* G-great job…

 

Me: *smiles successfully*

Author's Note

Yes, it's bonkers. Review?

Reviews

[selkietales]

Hehe this was funny :) Time to read more!

[Julie Beth]

haha alright that was amazing and holy crap i'm looking at the index and it is long so you'll have to give me time to read this but anyways awesome job :)

[obvious pseudonym]

lol i'm finally reading it took me long enough :)

[r]

AHAHAHHAHAHAHA.

I LOVE IT.

[Taylor H.]

its written like a play. Is that on purpose or? Idk if Im interested or not but I will read on. The name removal reminded me of kill bill :)

[.quan.011.]

I am little curious about the story and I even have some idea who some of mysterious character are.

.novelists.elite.info.
.display. vampirelordqman
.memberID. 026
.division. III
.division.leader. Vacant
.name. Quan
.username. Qmembers
.novels. Between Heaven and Earth, Nephilims and Monsters, Black Moon
.status. Early Reader, Writer, noelwrimo Contestant
.noelwrimo.wordcount. 24,796
.join date. 05-29-11

[Roxi L]

Yeah we're dead!

[compositionc]

I GOTTA FINISH WRITING THIS NOWWWWWWWWW

[compositionc]

WAITAMINUTE
won't she see who reviewed?
GAWD WE'RE GONNA GET SLAUGHTERED

[Roxi L]

Hell yeah they do!!!