109. Olivia and Hotch Share Unintentional Angst

it came back! suddenly!

*We’re on the road again, mourning the death of Eddie, who gave his life to save us. When we return to dry land, I want to give him a proper funeral service. Ian’s reunited with Kelly, and in the wake of being stuck here, I walk beside Hotch as we begin walking in search of means of communication on an abandoned island. I hear Ian and Roland and Ludlow arguing, but I’m too tired to join in as well*

 

Me: Hotch, where’s Jocelyn?

 

Hotchner: Gone. I have no idea where.

 

Me: D’you think she was… eaten?

 

Hotchner: God only knows. She disappeared when all the dinosaurs were set free. I’d like to hope that her quick reflexes brought her out of the path of the dinosaurs, but there’s nothing we can do about it if it didn’t. There’s no sense in worrying.

 

Me: You’re… optimistic.

 

Hotchner: I try. *looks around* Say, where’s the Doctor?

 

Me: Hotch…

 

Hotchner: You’ve been almost devoured by dinosaurs on multiple occasions, been separated from up, Jocelyn could be dead already -- where is he?

 

Me: Saving the universe. As he always is.

 

Hotchner: Doesn’t it bother you that he’s not here to save you when you really need it? Like when Gray Cee had a knife to your neck, or when you were shot twice in the first few days you were here?

 

Me: That’s not his job. That’s mine.

 

Hotchner: He’s your boyfriend.

 

Me: With the weight of the universe on his shoulders. I’m the last thing he needs to worry about.

 

Hotchner: You don’t understand because you don’t know any better. He’s your boyfriend, so close to you that he asked you to marry him; he’s supposed to be there for you above all else. Hell, if Mars is exploding and you’ve got a gun to your head here on planet Earth, he better freaking book it back to the third planet from the sun, and let the Marians deal with their destruction themselves. Because the love of your life is supposed to be a treasure, something you treasure above all else, even the universe itself. Someone you would die for. Someone you would kill for. Someone you’re always there for, no matter what the cost.

 

*Before I can even think to answer -- or think of an answer, for that matter -- Roland says loud enough for everyone to hear that they’ll set up camp here. Men start rolling out tents. When Hotch goes to help them, I grab his arm*

 

Me: You don’t deserve this; worrying about me. You already have enough s**t to carry around with you. I can take care of myself. But… thank you. I really appreciate it.

 

Hotchner: It’s my job.

 

*He leaves; after about forty five minutes, the BAU regroups*

 

Morgan: Who’s sharing a tent with who?

 

Reid: Uh, you and I can share a tent, Morgan.

 

JJ: Emily and I can share.

 

Mayisha: I can share with-- WAHT. *is dragged off by an insistent Ludlow*

 

Megan: *raises her hand sheepishly* I can share a tent with--

 

Morgan: OH GOD NO.

 

Prentiss: Derek, you okay?

 

Morgan: *waves her away* Yeah, yeah, I’m good.

 

JJ: What is going on here?

 

Megan: …Apparently he was distressed that I was sharing a tent with Olivia.

 

Me: What’s so bad about sharing a tent with Olivia?

 

Hotchner: Um, the last time I shared a room with you, you almost got yourself killed.

 

Me: How was I supposed to know freaking Gray was going to come out of freaking nowhere and freaking try to kill me before freaking jumping out a freaking window?!

 

Megan: You’re lucky he didn’t kidnap you.

 

Prentiss: We’ve been told that usually happens.

 

Me: Megan, I’m going to hurt you--

 

Gideon: Enough. Megan, to save you from squabbling, you’re going to share a tent with me. Olivia, you’ll share a tent with Aaron.

 

Hotchner: *raises an imaginary glass* Here’s to hoping that your tent won’t attract dinosaurs.

 

Morgan: I’ll drink to that. *raises his own glass*

 

*The others do the same. There’s an imaginary drinking, and then everyone parts ways*

*In the darkness, I’m laying awake on my back. I don’t know if Hotch is awake beside me, but he’s turned in the opposite direction, and his breathing is leveled*

 

Me: I wonder if they’re making out right now.

 

Hotchner: *grumbles sleepily* Stop. I’ll have a dream about it.

 

Me: Nothing is as bad as seeing the real thing.

 

Hotchner: The dream will fill in the times in which we close our eyes and refuse to look.

 

Me: True, very true.

 

*There’s a silence. Hotch’s breathing returns to it’s leveled state, and I’m silent. Until--*

 

Me: I told him I’d think about it.

 

Hotchner: Hmm?

 

Me: The Doctor. When he asked me to marry him, I told him I’d think about it.

 

Hotchner: Yes, that’s what I’ve heard. Apparently your friends like to discuss these matters with the female members of the team, and therefore, the female member named Garcia likes to share with Morgan, who shares with the rest of the males. Jason probably already knew, though; with Megan and all.

 

Me: Yeah, but do you know why?

 

Hotchner: Well, it’s a lot to hold. I’d assumed you were figuring out the burden of having a universe-saving boyfriend who’s apparently an alien. Not that I can believe that entirely.

 

Me: Not really. There was… another reason.

 

Hotchner: *he turns so that he’s lying face up like me* And that reason is…?

 

Me: Well, not to put too fine a point on it, you.

 

Hotchner: What about me?

 

Me: Use your FBI powers of deduction, Hotchner. I said that I’d think about a marriage proposal from the love of my very short, very human life because of you.

 

Hotchner: …oh.

 

Me: Yeah, “oh”.

 

Hotchner: Don’t let me get in the way of anything--

 

Me: You’re not “getting in the way of anything”, Hotch. I’ve grown really attached to you, and even though I love the Doctor, I, well, like you. I feel like such a school girl, Jesus Christ.

 

Hotchner: Then kiss me.

 

Me: W-what?

 

Hotchner: Don’t tell me you haven’t seen it in movies, Olivia. If the girl can’t decide on the two boys, or vice versa, they kiss them to see who they feel for. You kiss the Doctor -- we’ve all seen it -- but you’ve never kissed me.

 

Me: So, you’re asking me to kiss you, to see if I feel anything?

 

Hotchner: That way, if you don’t -- which you probably won’t -- then your feelings will be put to rest, and you’ll finally decide to marry the Doctor and everyone will be happy.

 

Me: Everyone but you.

 

Hotchner: No one cares about how I feel any longer. Hell, even I stopped caring how I felt after Haley divorced me--

 

*He’s cut off by me suddenly leaping up and kissing him full on the lips. Somehow, the lapels of his shirt -- standing up from rolling around in his sleeping bag -- and closed in my fists, and the kiss has more passion than the gentle peck that I’d been expecting when he first proposed the idea. There’s no tongues -- just a surrender on both sides. His otherwise shocked hands a moment ago slowly creep up and hold me in place above him, just for a moment. The kiss lasts just a moment longer than several seconds, and then we both mutually push away from one another. I pull away from him, his hands seemingly reluctant to let me go, and we stare at one another for a moment*

 

Hotchner: So? Did you feel anything?

 

Me: No. Nothing at all.

 

Hotchner: Good, good. I’ll look forward to the wedding then.

 

*He gives me a small smile and then shifts back into his original sleeping position. As soon as I’m sure he’s asleep, I turn from him, back to his back, so that he can’t see the tears that shine in my eyes. Because, truth is, I felt something. Something huge*

 

*Something that shouldn’t have been there in the first place*

 

*Meanwhile, Jocelyn wakes up in the forest for a moment. No dinosaurs have eaten her yet, so she drowsily wanders until she hits her head on a log and falls against a tree, asleep once again. In the silence, a tyrannosaurus roars*

Author's Note

after two months there wAS A LOTCH KISS. does that make up for it being gone for so long?

there will be more jocelyn in the third chapter, as well as mideon and slightly angsty olivia. the next and third chapter will also be longer and probs more funnier.

yes tHERE WILL BE A NEXT CHAPTER IN THE NEXT MONTH. bwhahahahaha.

do y'all ship lotch or loctor? tell me yo' thoughts!