Peace unto Migraine

 

On this warm eve, the soul within feels sacred and clean,
My thoughts are wholesome and my ambiance pristine,
The sultry tepid air wears upon my sweet moistened skin,
Yet cool and untouched is my tranquil inner being within,

I sense a fearsome ache knocking at my mind’s outer gates,
Waiting to be subconsciously invited in it tolerantly awaits,
As it approaches and deludes my precious point of view,
I fight to savor this eve’s last calm moments if just a few,

Now slightly sensing a subtly faint yet ambitious pulse moving in,
All concentration quickly turns to solely avoiding it‘s inevitable begin,
For the few hours ahead are sure to prove callous and cruel,
As with each awkward scent and flash of light it’s power will fuel,

The comforting knowledge that tomorrow soon brings a refreshing awake,
I bid the restless day adieu and to my spinning pillow I do eagerly take,
So on this early eve as I pray for the dark to overtake the daylight that be,
I close my eyes and at last a peacefully deep slumber soon becomes of me.

Author's Note

Let me know what you think. Suggestions and constructive criticism welcome. Thank you!

Reviews

[Mark]

I enjoyed your ability to foresee pain, and actively exert effort against its onslaught, even knowing that that would be futile, then (with an inferrred sigh), relenting, and allowing it its space and time. How much pain we might all avoid (and I'm not just talking about headaches here!) if we could all so effectively, so objectively accept the unavoidable, foresee a time when it shall have passed, and move on therefrom. Ther best poems are based, as this is, on real events, but which have other applications, as this does. Well Done!
My critiques are few and minor. Ambience is misspelled. Adjective strings and dependent clauses should be set off with commas (sweet, moistened; ...invited it in, it patiently awaits). And your line length and beating broke apart in the third and fourth stanzas...But that could itself be a poetic device, couldn't it, demonstrating your increasing mental disarray as the attack intensifies?

[Lorraine]

First of all, nice title. I find it really unique. Anyways, on with the poem, as per usual, it has eloquence and elegance. I love the way you phrase your thoughts.

Keep Writing. ^___^

[Naomi Montana Walsh]

This was so sultry and pure ..I really like it ..your style is trancelike..a meditation..like a soft pillow for the aching head.. lovely write.

[Kerwin]

nice....you describe emotion well...you dont fall into the trap of using too many adjectives....the write is not overly long like some....i especially like the 2nd paragraph..well done!

[bluessadmood]

oh how lovely you wrote this
on this warm eve my soul feels sacred and clean..all shining
thoughts wholesome and feelings so content..
the humid hot air touches on silky skin like a wear
yet cool and tranquil my inner being feels
then as sudden ache hits at my head
i try to fight it ,keep it away .. save the last moments of my day
it comes in flashing lights throbbing hits sending me out of my wits
fight it i wont so to my pillow i take
so i pray the dark soon to take over light
as i close my eyes..as sleep takes over and wait for another fresh lovely day
ha ha ..i know how migraine is a nasty thing but i loved the way you told about it
thats what really pulled me to this write as you changed the matter from something so bad to something
so wonderful to read about..you did it so beautifully

[Pax Analog]

"Adieu" for "a due" in the last stanza.

Your poem has a rhyming eloquence like a superior greeting card -- which brings the bemused notion of greeting cards for just such transient states. "Ah, yes, here's the 'Onset of Migraine' section." Why not? These especially splintered ludicrous times should have such markers. "Excuse me, are you getting any more 'Fugue Falderal" cards this week?'

And I especially like a poem that tracks shifting conditions like this. I go through this sort of thing with the transit of the Moon through the signs every 2 1/2 days, and degree calibrations of same. Today is just such a shift, from prior Leo amping my natal Sun sign's dynamism, to Virgo affecting details and minor crises ripples. There's a general transit effect, and a specific transit effect re one's own chart.

Anyway, I like the measured thoughtful style attending the fringes of the migraine, like a weather report. I think it's a fine unusual poem, and the only issue is the one noted: "Adieu."

Good work.