Daddy's Girls

To a wonderful father, best friend and amazing person. Love you Daddy!

 

You came from a house of only boys,
With trucks and rocks as your only toys,
Dirt and grit on top of scrap and spit,
Your mother thoughtfully loved with might and wit,


Unjustly, life proved rough and undeserved,
Your sentence of pain, you more than served,
Your smile etched sincere, regardless of the unfair,
As a good man, you dreamt of making it up to your heir,
Smitten and wed at a buck more than twenty,
You shortly found life had blessed you with plenty,


Although, despite your dreams of snakes and snails,
God granted you twinkle toes and manicured nails,
Those of two bright-eyed girls to call your own,
Who you raised from the heart of courses unknown,


Pretty in pink with sugar and spice,
For us, your life, you would sacrifice,
You tied our ribbons and bowed our curls,
For we were your precious girls,


You loved us whole and held us high,
Taught us how to fight and showed us it was okay to cry,
At sight of your eyes, ours would glow with wonder and laughter,
Daddy, from day one you unknowingly shaped our happy-ever-after,


Purposely, every night as you sweetly kissed our brows,
At the brink of slumber, our imaginations you did arose,
You'd smile in the darkness thru only your eyes,
While whispering to us your famous made-up lullabies,


Our curious spirits laughed as they traveled so far,
To places we've yet to forget that eventually set the bar,
With faces so straight we giggled within,
With the innocent hopes we'd go there again,


With time we grew and naturally strayed,
As you had made us, Daddy...robust and unafraid,
We made our own and at times we had our falls,
Sympathetic, you gauged your protective walls,


And no matter how serious your speeches were,
Our collective giggles, though misplaced, would concur,
We fully embraced your love and concern,
Succeed you did Daddy, as thru time we did learn,



Now, that we have each wed and bored our own,
Looking back we hope to you, that we have shown,
All your unconditional love, imaginative frills and optimistic views,
Unveiled our smiling souls and 1,000 times over we would both choose,


To be none other than the lucky daughters of none other than YOU!

~ To Daddy ~

Author's Note

Let me know what you think. Suggestions and constructive criticism welcome. Thank you!

Reviews

Aww! This is a gorgeous poem which brings tears to my eyes! My only critique (that I don't think has already been mentioned) is from line...*counts*...uh, 24. The word "arose" - should that be "arouse"??

Also. Line 18.

Do you think that the 4th verse would flow better if you inserted the word "little" after the word "precious"?

Oh! And in the 4th line, "loved" should be "loving" to be grammatically correct.

Plus, if I'm going to be really nit-picky, there are several punctuation marks that aren't correct throughout the whole thing. You never seem to puntuate the end of a thought (using a period for example), and instead finish every line with a comma.

Ok, picking aside, the poem is great! I love the thought involved in it, and I'm going to vote for you. :)

[Lorraine]

A poem close to my heart. Your thoughts are very sweet and touching. It exemplifies one of the purest love there is in this world. Just by reading it, I imagine my own dad and how your words seem taken directly from my thoughts. Wonderful piece. Anyways, just thought I'd point out this line too, "At sight of you our eyes, ours would glow with wonder and laughter," I think something's wrong with it.

Keep Writing. ^___^

[Jessica Mai]

I adore this poem!! Its so sweet and touching. Wonderfullll write!

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

Congrats on your great winning poem!

[Belator Books]

Perhaps 'borne' your own, in stead of 'bored' may be the more correct, grammatically. Despite a rather cute rhyme scheme I found myself feeling sentimental while reading this. Your love for your dad is an honor to him. On the whole a winning piece, in my estimation.

[bluessadmood]

You loved us whole and held us high,
Taught us how to fight and showed us it was okay to cry,
At sight of you our eyes, ours would glow with wonder and laughter,
Daddy, from day one you unknowingly shaped our happy-ever-after,
yes a father is a very special one in our lives..he would sacrifice his own life for the sake of his children
he would give unlimited love,give a safe shelter for the young ones,no one could take his place..
he deserves our gratitude..
wonderful write ,very wise

[Sheila Kline]

Oh, this is sooooooooo precious! It is a beautiful, beautiful tribute to your father! Who could want more?
Only a fool!
Hugs, Sheila

[Kiara]

AMAZING! :)
an inspirational and heartfelt tribute
to your father, I really enjoyed reading this
thanks for sharing -arabella

[Wildecat]

This is indeed a beautiful tribute to your Daddy, well done.