Am I?

I wrote this in honor of mental health week.

“You aren’t depressed”

the words slapped my face 

am i depressed?

“You’re just sad”

I wondered if he had ever felt the feeling

the doubt

the wondering

the darkness

the compulsion

am i depressed?

“You’re just saying/doing that for attention”

self-conscious, i shut everyone out

everything was my own little secret

am i depressed?

“You’re always so happy. There’s no way you’re depressed.”

if I can hide behind a smile, why talk about it?

am i depressed?

“You’re just a sad teenager, you’ll grow out of it.”

you don’t grow out of a mental illness

you grow as a person

learn the correct way to deal with situations

to love yourself

to genuinely smile

to accept your flaws

to deny temptations

to understand true happiness 

am i depressed?

no, not anymore