Hammer me

Just something i came up with.........

Hammer me to the ground. Keep me there all around.

Step on me with your feet. Power is your treat.

Slap me around with your hand. If that makes you feel like a man.

Reviews

[ashley]

This is so powerful in so few words. The flow felt off a little, mainly in the second line- you need an extra beat in the "Power is your treat." line. Just a suggestion, take it with a grain of salt. This was fantastic tho, I really liked it. Great job!

[Lady Celery]

That was a really good poem! It was short but filled with emotion and all those elements that make a poem good and worth reading. I thought it had everything it needed.

By the way, it was kind of sad, too. Like, with the whole "abusive guy" thing going on there. I hope this isn't based off of your real life experiences... o.O

Anyway, this was really good! I liked it :)