Plant life

Plant life

A Poem by alley

I saw a ghost on the stair's, and sheet's on the table's and chairs.

 

The silverware swam with the shark's in the sink even tho i don't know what to think.

 

I'v been logging for, daisy's to push threw the floor.

 

and i wish plant life would grow all around me so i won't feel dead anymore.

 

I saw a bear in the den, reading my textbooks again.

 

the bat's flowed like traffic as they poured from the attic, heaven knows i could really use a friend.

 

© 2011 alley


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Reviews

I really love the imagery here :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


very good rhyme scheme. i really enjoyed the imagery you created.

Posted 12 Years Ago


:D this is awesome!
"I saw a bear in the den, reading my textbooks again."

Posted 12 Years Ago


Interesting..
...I like it :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


interesting use of animals as symbolism .

all valid points from previous reviewers .

sooo not a rant ...

Posted 13 Years Ago


This is a really interesting poem, though you might want to edit some of the punctuation and grammar.

*first stanza* - stairs, sheets, tables (no apostrophes)
*second stana* - sharks, though (not tho), capital I.
*third stanza* - I've, (i think you mean longing, not logging), dasies, through (not threw).
*fourth stanza* - Capital A at the start, capital I (twice).
-Fifth is fine.
*Last stanza* - Capital T, bats, capital I.

There's what I noted as proof reading. Because it does makes for a querky poem. I would advise a smaller font size as well as it is quite intimidating :) Hope this helps, friend.

Posted 13 Years Ago


A nice idea here. Font is too large and none of the apostrophes are needed. Good otherwise.

Posted 13 Years Ago


Nice idea here. Small point - font is too large and none of those apostrophes are needed.

Posted 13 Years Ago


Lovely piece. Well done.

But on a completely personal note... why such a large font! I can't see the form properly then lol!

Posted 13 Years Ago



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9 Reviews
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Added on August 14, 2011
Last Updated on August 14, 2011

Author

alley
alley

Dubin, TX, United Kingdom



About
Im Alley I love writing love stories it's just my thing. I like reading looking to publish 2 of my books i have written. message me or add.. love ya!! more..

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