The guy

The guy

 

I walk right by him and in front of him but he never sees me. But this is never to be forgotten. When I was walking to math class and we hit heads together and fall down, with my stuff everywhere. Oh I’m sorry!! No it’s my fault I bumped into you! True”. We both started grabbing my paper’s when are hands touched. �"We both pulled away- I’m sorry!! It’s ok.., we got up- umm… I guess I’ll be heading to math! What’s your name? I’m ally! Hello I’m Cody”. It’s nice to meet you”. Hey do you want to be friends? Umm… I would love to but my friends love you and if they find out about this then they will ask me everything. You have 1,000 friends. You don’t need me! But here! ~he gave me his number~ how nice of you. Tex me whenever you want. I will! Oh my gosh I got to get to class! Me too! Hey what do you have next?

 

The teacher? Mr. sample. Me too! So we have a class together? Probably all of them. Ha-ha!! Wait your kidding?? I saw your schedule. That’s stalker ish! Well we are friends… who said that! Me! We were inches apart- umm… we should get to class! Oh yes”. We aren’t friends! Why are you being so mean to me! I’m not I’m just telling the truth”. Hey! Oh hey”. Who is she? This is alley! I don’t want to know her name”. That’s rude! I’m kayley. It’s very nice to meet you! Don’t touch me! You are not able to talk to him and you are not able to talk to her! Ok. Ok? Kayley if you’re going to control my friends. I’m not your friend! Well classmates then it’s over! No please sorry!! �"he takes my hand- I want her”.-I was in complete shock- why her?

 

When I saw her face she was amazing! Hey cody I don’t like recking love so how about we foreget about this”. I can’t do that! It will be easy! Remember yall were going out cause you liked her! Stop trying to put other girls in her place! Please just trust me”. See now listens to her”. Can we be friends? Yes of course. May I? Not right now but maybe later”. Ok then”. Hey why were you so nice to me? Cause I love being nice to people, but I do have a bad side”. Hmm… ok.  I still don’t like you though. Well that’s your opinion. How can you do this to me! I’m not doing anything! I’m just showing that I don’t get let down. Oh like a dog! I’m sorry are talking about you? No!

 

Girls stop! Leave us alone! No! Ever since you have been here, you have disliked her! She is going to take my place…, I’m never going to. �" He looks down- please don’t promise…-he whisper’s- I’m not…, see you are!! I told you! What? You are going to take him away from me! No!! Me and him are going to be with each other for ever!! Well good for ya’ll. I’ll go! No alley! �"He hugged me- alleys don’t go… -he just kept holding onto of me- hey get off of her! �"He didn’t reply to her- Cody? Please!! �"I just stood there- hey… hey… hey, who is this? Nobody you need to know”. Then we should ask! I’m alley”. It’s very nice to meet you”. �"I reached out my hand but he took me- Cody!! Alley!! �"the dude pushed me on the ground and left- alley!! �"He was right next to me- alley are you ok?? No!

Reviews

[TheSweet]

Many great writers have said 'write about what you know' - which does come through here. It seems as if you know a bit about friendship interactions in a school setting and you've protrayed that. Well done.

However, I really should suggest learning the standard writing technique because this is a little confusing here. Your quotation marks are a little messey, there should be quotations marks before and after every time someone says something - also, when each character speaks you need to start on a new line. It's also helpful to add 'invisible phrases' like 'he said' because it clarifies speech.

This kind of grammar thing does apply to a lot of your stories - but I can tell you have a lot of ideas you want to get out there. I might suggest taking a course on this website, or perhaps just researching by reading lots - you can learn an aweful lot from reading other's work. Hope this helps, Alley, all the best :)