The Bone Of Contention

Created as part of a East Midlands Creative Writing Group 'Challenge' for Mar 2013 to create a piece on the theme of 'The Bone Of Contention'.

    The Bone of Contention

By Allan Shipham

Now Pay Attention !

Today, While Out For My Pension,

And Some Of The Pills For My Hypertension,

I Was The Victim Of A Misapprehension.

The Main Complaint Of My Contention:

Was That I Concealed A Baton, For Defence And Protection,

In a Moment Of Panic, Adversely Drawing The Chemist's Attention,

And The Kind Of Ideas We Don't Usually Mention.

Of Course It Was All In Her Mind's Invention,

And Then Led To The Embarrassing Police Apprehension.

They Treated Me Awfully, And With Such Condescension,

Considering, I Was Following Advice From The Police Convention.

The Ascension That Got The Wrong Kind Of Attention,

Was Innocently; My Baton Extensions.

My Trousers Were Taken To Another Dimension,

But, It Didn't Require Such Suspension and Tension.

Be Warned Of This Innocent Tale Of Crime Prevention,

It Is Of Course... The Bone of Contention.

© Allan Shipham 2013

Author's Note

I don't post work online much, but I am not sure I can make the meeting next week yet. I wrestled with loads of ideas, and came up with this, I wanted to try something I hadn't done before.

Reviews

[Nicky Sarti]

I love this... still.
You are really good at "funny" poems.
I think it is your natural thing.
As you have said in the past, you don't really do "soppy" stuff; funny yet moving works for you mate.
Well done x

[Allan W]

:)) Very funny.....I like it. You should write for comedy sketch shows! I could totally visualise this as a comedy sketch. Nice job!

[Katherine]

LOL - I think this is great Alan :D Made me laugh!

[Alan]

Very witty and well thought out. Loved the direction which you took this!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

it is a light hearted, humourous and inventive take on the subject Allan. Hope to see you there.