MisPlaced

from paradise to hell

Misplaced

You came into your own
Paradisal offerings of reality
Swing a bat,
Nothing but net on the court,
Walks avoiding the lines in pavements
You thought it would never end
and it did
When you lost footing
Stepped into boundaries of adulthood
Deep inside you hated it
Where was your bat,
Where were the ten legs
of court basketball in timelessness
Just in your mind
The body entered a different place
A misplaced adventure lingering in
orders screaming down the back of your neck,
foreign lands, places unknown to common sense,
to paradise, to voices you knew echoing
down, all the way down to friendship,
buddies, laughs and the camaraderie of soul

Reviews

[Alfred Kukitz]

Thanks Pryde,

That adventure continue with 2 friends from the old days. What a joy!

Regards,
Al

[Pryde Foltz]

A misplaced adventure lingering in
orders screaming down the back of your neck,
foreign lands, places unknown to common sense,
to paradise, to voices you knew echoing
down, all the way down to friendship,
buddies, laughs and the camaraderie of soul

A fantastic write here, Al. The stages of life beautifully told:)

[Lyn Anderson]

I think the saddest thing about growing up is that we think we want it so badly, and then we lament getting older. It is the nature of people to look forward and past, and not live in the today. I think that is our hardest lesson. Beautiful write. I especially like the image of "avoiding the lines in the pavement"

[Alfred Kukitz]

Such thoroughness can only be honored with a big thanks E. The friends of youth were my family. I experienced a cold mental freeze with my father. Later while in Vietnam the boys of my youth became the fallen in a useless war. I continue to write about the reality of it in a way that flushes my soul with love and care.

Thanks again E!

Regards,
Al

[Einstein Noodle]

the ubiquitous enigma demands reading at least several times at different speeds (like playing LP's on 78) the drawing of conclusions goes line to line (like a collage) stepping back one can see no clearer :)
my mother in law (God rest her soul) was a poetess all her life and worked in many areas of teaching, reading and writing it .. i use to give her serious poems i had written and she would just giggle ..(i have no idea what she meant) ...anyway one of the things she shared with me was to be careful about ambiguity as one may loose completely a point that is being attempted ... but these are spontaneous poems we write with great satisfaction over how the words sound rolling over the tongue .. i do not ken this one ...but love lots of your lines ... your closing three for instance ... leave me feeling as i have run a gauntlet ...have made it through ..and it will be OK ... :)
i also really like the lines on your lines in the pavement metaphor ... (who hasn't stepped on a crack?;) it is a fine time spent reading sir!
E.