When I Told Her

A Story by Alfred Kukitz

Discovering Impotency

When He Told Her…………….Alfred William Kukitz

There was talk. She knew it; he knew it but no one was saying anything. She drew her eyes to him, softly suggesting to herself to draw him to her, perhaps he would say something, a word or two, something so she could know without all the anxiety that cut across her mind. He looked away, instinctively knowing that she was pulling him into her; he wanted no part of it. He was content to say nothing, holding back was his speciality, quiet his ally. She moved around him sensing his resistance. Her left hand, those ultra long fingernails that she could run up and down his body in a tease like sexuality, gently arced across her forehead weaving into her thick black hair. The red fingernail polish gliding into the blackness, showing themselves, then disappearing into the thickness of it all. He looked now, sparked, the trance of illusion eating into a man’s consciousness. Her hair, that redness, those red lips coming into the fore. She glanced suddenly at him catching him slightly off balance, his eyes awkwardly finding hers. Both rested there momentarily. She moved closer when she sensed his awareness of the moment. Her body inching, barely a space separated them. He touched her hair, soft, black streaming down the nape of her neck, the smell alluring, the lavender scent pulling him further into the illusion. He tried to resist but couldn’t muster the strength.

“The talk…..You know about it; haven’t you? Her voice complimented the allure of her looks. His lips pressed against themselves but he found it impossible to keep them shut.

“Yes! Yes!” His voice stumbling with the words.

“Can you tell me”? The barometer of sweetness curled around the atmosphere, ringing, soothing his inhibitions and silence. He whispered it into her ear, then repeated the first part, he didn’t want to pull away, the lavender pulled him further into her. Her position changed. She stiffened became more alert as she assessed what he said.

“Are you sure”? He sensed a pleading in her voice. A wishful utterance that caused him to melt, to feel life slipping away from him, his love lost somewhere all because of one walk in waist length water filled with Agent Orange. He cried; she felt his tears. She, too, cried.

“The doc told me yesterday”.

What they had was lost because of a stupid war. The talk now out in the open. The feelings wondering around some lost horizon.

“I have to leave you”.

“I know”.

“Goodbye” she said.

The door closed. HIs old ally quietly surrounded him, whispered a joke but he wasn’t laughing. Tears seemed everywhere. You were right my old friend I should have kept my silence but it would be unfair for one I love.