Deep Dive

Lost at sea, it’s just me, and

A thousand other me’s I see

In an endless, broken mirror

Glaring in the rays of a blinding sun.

Time, a drunken man stumbling along

The shards that move and undulate 

Like a slow river of broken ice,

Carved me with a blunt blade

From a knotty branch of

The tree of life, and

Thrust me through the cracks

As if to hide a mistake, or a lie.

Sinking slowly into a world

Full of silent darkness,

I’m a writhing worm on God’s hook.

I inhale, exhale mindlessly;

My heart’s a shaman’s drum

Beating a slow, sensual rhythm.

I blink dumbly, and listen listlessly.

A fallen war horse with the softest eyes,

Dying on a muddy battlefield:

It is I in another life.

An unborn child floating in the

Warm womb of another time:

Perhaps, that too can be I.

Reviews

[Eilis]

Your title offers a sense that you will not be exploring the surface, but it has a level of ambiguity that allows surprise when the content approaches. Often, I think, deep dive can have positive connotations like a person is choosing to embark on exploring new territory. Here, we take a deep dive into the troubled and restless human psyche. And the way the poem moves from title to hope in the mercy of reincarnation offers something I wasn’t expecting. The pain of living in the current consciousness feels acute. But there is something protective about the human mind that allows the imagination to journey to places beyond experience. Sometimes this is what keeps us alive. I believe the imagination is where hope rests. And without the hope that the future may hold something better than the current painful reality, it can be difficult (to say the least) to face another day ‘wriggling on God’s hook’. This reminded me a little of some of the metaphysical poets I read in college. I can’t remember a particular poet’s name at the moment, but I will try and find a poem of his. Life can make us feel we are pieces in someone’s game often enough. Your poem offers a painful glimpse into the impact this sense can have on an individual soul. We rise and fall each day with the cycles but sometimes against our own will. And sometimes the only comfort we find is in imagining there is a time and place where our soul will find itself in something more like peace/ living. This is a deep and stirring poem.

[Laz K.]

Thank you for yet another very insightful review.
I find that many recoil at such a stark, even horrific representation of life. But, on the other hand, there are always those that share this vision of life. (The first of the 4 noble truths is, "Life is suffering") Also, "rebirth" can be hoped for in this life - like starting a new "chapter."
Thanks again for taking the time to read and offering your very-very valuable response.

[Delmar Cooper]

Haven't the foggiest idea what this all means, but I liked the baited hook notion. Gives me comfort to know god is after a bigger fish.

[Chris Shaw]

Wow, there are some memorable lines here Laz and some superb imagery. However it was the movement that captured me. It is a time line of life rolled out in seconds. From birth to death in a different era. That's how I read your lines. Great work. Thank you for sharing your gift.

Chris

[Laz K.]

Thanks for reading and commenting. I appreciate you sharing your interpretation.

[John the Baptist]

This one is filled with unique images, but the most memorable is "a worm on God's hook." Grim, but definitely eye catching. The overall tone of the poem is somber, the speaker reflecting on life experiences and finding little positive. The last lines may hint of a better existence, that of an unborn child "floating in the warm womb of another time." Perhaps

[John the Baptist]

Sorry for the interruption. Perhaps the last lines hint at hopes for something better through reincarnation. Whatever, it can scarcely be worse than that which has already come to pass.

[Laz K.]

Thank you for reading and commenting.

[barleygirl]

This line is so well-crafted: "I’m a writhing worm on God’s hook." There are many other awesome lines here, as well. Reading this makes me want to write about something serious for a change (not my usual flippant approach to life). But taking a deep dive just isn't my thing! *wink!* wink!* Thanks for taking me almost to the brink (((HUGS)))

[Laz K.]

"taking a deep dive just isn't my thing"

A leopard can't change its spots, they say. I more and more realize that we are all prisoners of our little idiosyncratic universes, and all we do is try and try to tell others what we see up in our own starry sky.

Thanks for reading and commenting. :)

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

This was an enjoyable read. You take the reader on a very mysterious mystical journey. Stark images giving way to enlightened thought of the soul's endless road from birth to death and birth again. A game that God plays with our immortal essence. And for what purpose? Another sliver to be lived, and another piece of me to exist throughout time. Very haunting. Incredible piece of writing Laz.

[Laz K.]

Thank you for reading and commenting.