Train Ride

On stooping, bent backs

We all carry our wrapped up,

Zipped up lives with a sigh.

Heads nod in silent greeting,

Curious eyes dart around,

Careless, casual knees brush,

Elbows touch, then recoil as we

Make our way through the crowd.

Each inscrutable face is a

Portrait in this gallery of life.

Snippets of conversations

Flutter in the air and swirl around

Like pages torn from a

Biography of collective strife.

Whoever laid the tracks, and

How long ago?

How many came before us,

And on their journey

Did they find what they were looking for?

There’s so much we don’t know

But with a ticket to this ride

We’re headed the same direction

Strangers as brothers side by side.

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

We are all on a journey through life. Most of us board that train not knowing exactly where we are going or whom we will meet on the way. Others have a planned route which may still take on diversions. The final destination, always the same. A route map to death. When you put it like that, it sounds so blooming depressing, and yet there can be much joy on the journey. My train ride has taken me through areas of outstanding beauty and through places I never want to go again. Thank you Laz.

Chris

[Laz K.]

"it sounds so blooming depressing, and yet there can be much joy on the journey" - these two statements are not exclusive, I think. Life is both an incomprehensibly wonderful journey, but it is also incomprehensibly sad and tragic. We are all on a cosmic ride together, but we are all looking out through different windows, and so see different sights.

Thank you for reading and commenting, Chris. It's always much appreciated.

[Ruth]

I find a lack of community in modern times, people have forgotten that a sense of community heals a divide and personal self...when will humanity learn that time is finite and to live we must seek into the true self not just follow footsteps of those before us...life is as beautiful as it can be grey :) Great poem Laz K :)

[Eilis]

I have read about human behavior in crowded situations and how we have these unspoken contracts regarding what we expect from each other as strangers who must touch without necessarily becoming acquainted. Crucial to the working of these constructs is our agreement in a common humanity and as such a deserving of respect for space and autonomy when contact cannot be avoided. You detail a moment of touching then recoiling as elbows meet, but also end with ‘strangers, brothers side by side’ and highlight the dichotomy. We rely on each other, and understand each other to a degree, yet we do not desire closeness. Silent acknowledgment perhaps, but not the intrusion of inviting the flood of others in. I feel like your poem captures well the public and private spaces in coexistence. The humanity/individuality juxtaposed to the collective anonymity that defines modern life. Caution has always been necessary when humans meet as strangers. But there was a time when intimacy with your neighbors was an integral part of survival. Being able to trust and rely on those who lived around you. But your poem does get to the heart of something of the way we have diverged from that model. I really enjoyed your scene and the deeper meaning within which I’ve maybe only begun to touch on.

[Laz K.]

Thank you for another detailed, insightful review. The starting point for this poem was some memories I have about actual weekly train rides as a student but, as you pointed out, it can have a deeper meaning since life itself is like a ride we're all on together.

[Orphic dreamer]

“Each inscrutable face is a
Portrait in this gallery of life.
Snippets of conversations
Flutter in the air and swirl around
Like pages torn from a
Biography of collective strife.”
These myriad of words have expressed such a beautiful picture of how humans are in a way reaching towardse a similar path of life. This poem is so just utterly profound and original, and brings a sense of ineffable connections. Incredible work!

[Laz K.]

I'm very grateful for your kind words.

[Fran Marie]

we're all on that collective unconscious
train ride of a stressful (sometimes good)
life headed in the same direction ..one
common thread connecting us whether
we're aware of it or not .past and present
and those after us on the same journey

nice work

[Laz K.]

Thank you for reading and commenting.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and brothers as strangers...
the contact we so much want...
but the ride says we have no ticket and have to get off at the next stop...

and keep our social distance while doing it.

I especially like this line: "we all carry our wrapped up, zipped up lives with a sigh"---

yes, a heavy sigh at times...and a complacent sigh at others.

[Laz K.]

Thanks, j.

[Lorry]

Ahh, those wondering, wandering days of seeing a story unfold as we set out on a journey of our own. Will there be more than polite nods that will lead into the deeper reaches of their story, beyond the dust jacket cover? Will it be a pleasure, or is there misadventure afoot, when someone says too much and leaves you less interested in the ongoing tale, but wondering how the tale shall end, hopefully with them, a blow dart and some nice folk in white dragging them off for a rest in a nice bouncy room! Your adventure, or misadventure awaits 😊
Sometimes the journey is the adventure. Just hope it doesn't become a whodunit 😊

[Laz K.]

Your words made me think of Agatha Christie's "Murder on the Orient Express." :)

Thanks for reading and commenting.

[Lorry]

I think those words on every train journey. We call them the "lucky dip safari" in these 'ere parts 😊

[John the Baptist]

This one has an Existentialist air to it. Life is a train ride where each passenger is encased in his own "wrapped up, zipped up" life. We casually brush up against one another, but only briefly, and then we move on with little understanding. We know nothing about how we got here, nothing about where our eventual destination lies. The poem ends in a reassuring way, though; in this mysterious ride, we are "strangers as brothers." This one made me think of both Sartre and Kafka.

[Laz K.]

It happens sometimes that when someone offers an insightful summary of something I wrote, it helps me to understand my own writing better. This is one of those instances.

Thank you for taking the time to read and to comment.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Countless lives embark upon journey and for fleeting moments in brief lifetimes pass amongst each other. The stories that could be told from each passenger an endless history of humanity's plight in this world of social unity. Thank you Laz for sharing your work with us.

[Laz K.]

Right, I agree, and the writings on this site are like conversations passengers have with themselves and with one another.

Thank you for reading and commenting.

[Coyote Poetry]

It is cool to find people heading to the same places.
"How long ago?
How many came before us,
And on their journey
Did they find what they were looking for?"
I liked the questions above. Thank you my friend for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Laz K.]

Thank you for reading and commenting; its always much appreciated.

[Coyote Poetry]

Was my pleasure and you are welcome my friend.