Crow

“Don’t wander too far,”

I heard my mother call.

But, my lungs were bellows,

My heart a red-hot furnace,

And the quickening blood

Spread to my every fiber.

Over the fence I flew

Like that black crow

They threw rocks at.

“A bad omen,” they’d say

But, I’d laugh and follow

That bird in the sun, in the rain

Down every corner, every lane,

Past pretty meadows,

Peaceful lakes, into dark,

Narrow streets where

Nameless monsters feast.

“Return to me,”

I heard my mother call

But, my feet were weary,

My heart weighed a ton, and

Black wings spread over, 

And blotted out the sun. 

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I love your poem for presenting the irresistible nature of dark crow, but even more intriguing I find the introduction of "mom" in this vignette. Don't all mothers say your oh-so-perceptive first line? (brilliant!) And it goes without saying that any adventurous kid forgets mom's warning three seconds after it leaves her mouth. Then a little later, "return to me" -- such a sad futile sentiment -- we all know we can't go home again (Thomas Wolfe). These two points make this poem pop off the page for me (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Laz K.]

Thank you so much, Margie, for this wonderful review. I recently watched a biopic about T. Wolfe (played by Jude Law). What a character, what a life! Anyway, you're the ideal reader, and I appreciate your time spent here immensely.

[Kerra]

WOW!! This is deep in a way as well as intriguing. Enjoyed this write a lot

[Laz K.]

Thank you! :)

[Kerra]

not a problem

[John Cardwell]

Nice poem Laz! The metaphor, alliteration, and the ominous finale - very enjoyable.

[Laz K.]

Thank you, John!

[Eilis]

I think sometimes we have no choice but to follow the dark things or omens or risks even if there is that twinge of doubt. If we always stopped in youth and heeded the voice we would likely have missed many lessons that made us wiser in adulthood. I like the way your poem embodies the imaginative nature of poet and adolescent. All things being possibile in mind and as such sometimes leading us to overlook the most likely possible outcome. Sometimes we just have to discover the shadow of wings firsthand. This is a lovely work.

[Laz K.]

Thank you for reading and commenting. I really like your thoughts on this poem!

[Poetic Beauty]

Sometimes we wander off into places we should not have and finding our way can be extremely difficult

[Laz K.]

Right; exactly my point. Thanks for reading and commenting.

[Betty Hermelee]

Great Imagery in this interesting poem; I like the phrase "black wings spread over me and blotted out the sun" I did similar thins as a kid, and I can still hear my mother's voice shouting"not too far" and "get home right away"....Very nice work!
Best, Betty

[Laz K.]

Thanks for reading and commenting!

[Chris Shaw]

Vivid imagery here. I was an adventurer as a child, not so as an adult. You had me back there with my lunch box way across the fields over our back garden fence. I could hear my mum's voice trailing into the distance. Thank you for bringing out my inner child. I could relate to this poem.

Chris

[Laz K.]

Thank you for reading and commenting.
Glad you could relate.

[Dave Brown]

Very nicely done
we have black Ravens here which I strongly relate to, wishing I could as easily fly away from it all but of course, wherever I landed, 'it' would still be there patiently waiting
An enjoyable read, with or without any message

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I thought of the film at first---but then I was lead into the adventures we had as kids as we broke the rules, exceeded the boundaries...found a way to generate excitement, even at risk of peril, and especially
risk of parental punishment.
Was it worth it? Yes, I think it was.
j.

[Laz K.]

I guess "mother" may represent the voice of reason, conscience, morality, and all that. We are bound to break away, and look for other avenues, look for our own path in life. In the process we'll break rules and bones and hearts. At first it's all exciting, but inevitably we get lost in this process. Then, we wish to return "home" - again, that could mean a number of things like a "return to innocence."
Thank you for reading and commenting, j.