Ruins

When your castle’s crumbled

And your mind’s run out of

Tricks and lies to deny

The obvious, you look up

And around as if for the

First time and find yourself

Sitting on the ruins of a dream

Surveying the carnage

Pieces of the old world beckon

Like dying soldiers on a battlefield

Broken mirrors blink blindly

Haunted by the memories of

A life that linger like a ghost

Like an immortal genie

Trapped in the glass cage of your heart

Scattered, loose pages of

Old letters that held all the beauty of

The stars and moons of the universe

Lie limp, like dying birds whose

Wings feel the wind yet, and

Try to rise but feebly fall

Knowing they will fly no more

How long before grass grows on a grave?

How long before memories and scars fade

So that seeing them again we ask, “How?”

Broken though, but the heart keeps beating

As if it sensed a future the eyes

Cannot see, the mind cannot fathom

It is an emptied out Pandora’s Box

You sit over lamenting

Just before you look again

And find the only thing left

That will help you carry on

 

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

Beautifully penned, descriptive and emotive. Those castle walls have crumbled and lie in ruins. The protagonist has been defeated on an emotional level by a failed romance. There is much hurt here. There is much rebuilding to do. Thicker walls may be needed in future. Really enjoyed the metaphor. Great work

Chris

[Laz K.]

Thicker walls, indeed.
Thank you for reading and commenting - it is much appreciated.

[Arundass TP]

nicely written poem. beauty in each line. keep it up.

[Laz K.]

Thank you, I will do my best!

[Amber Stone]

...You sit over lamenting
Just before you look again
And find the only thing left
That will help you carry on
> For Love will restore
the castle ruin pieces
from the broken heart
like a Phoenix reborn.<

thank U L.K.,
sincerely. Amber

[Laz K.]

You are right, indeed: Love is a power that may make or break a man. Thank you for your optimism! Sometimes, we lose sight of the light, but there might be Godsent souls to help us see it again. Your words are always a glimmer a light in the dark. Thank you!

[Amber Stone]

so i tenderly hug you and kiss your forehead. sincerely, Amber.

[John the Baptist]

Very moving account of a life that has hit rock bottom. The images were quite powerful, especially the dying soldiers and dying birds. Most of the poem does focus on the images suggested by the title, but at the very end we are given hope that all is not lost. The speaker takes a second look and finds something that will facilitate recovery. We are not told what that is, but that is deliberate, for each will find their own specific help.

[Laz K.]

Thank you for the detailed, insightful comment.

[Lorry]

All you see and feel, along with what little you can do only makes the pain more acute, as your mind rebels at life without them being your new reality and does its best to make the pain unbearable by downloading every file in you and they's file which is now being refiled rose tinted hauntings.
Questions without answers only add to the disorienting effect that makes your gut feel like a broiling sea of acid determined to make you gag at lifes true horror show that is the breakup, in all its pain and glory.
Superbly written in all its 3D High Def worst. The pain we have all known and still resonates within us.

[Laz K.]

Thank you. This is one of the best comments/reviews I've ever received.

[Lydia Shutter]

Often a disaster brings an epiphany. Sure, a heart can break and you might think things will never be right again. Truth is, though, the phoenix always rises....and so can you. The metaphor here is grand. I enjoyed your words. Lydi**

[Laz K.]

Thank you for the encouraging words!

[Dave Brown]

another impressive write
I would like to have such an imagination
such thoughts as 'how long does it take grass grow on a grave?' dying bird's feebly falling, etc. etc.
You have me barely thinking of the message, more just admiring the word play

[Laz K.]

Thank you, Dave, for your very kind comments.

[Tania Mo]

The hearts made up of strong elastic.It doesn't really break. just feels broken.Finds another thing to hold on.

[Laz K.]

You amaze with with your strength and optimism. Thank you, T.M. :)