Twenty-Three

“Sorus,” Seth spoke as he knelt down under the stained glass portrait depicting a brilliant sun. He lit the candle that symbolized the Light Empire, closing his eyes as he breathed in the soft scent that swirled within the smoke. 

“What troubles you?” Sorus’ soothing voice entered his head and Seth looked up to see the God standing before him.

Where do I begin?

“I don’t know what to do,” he started, “Darby is giving me a chance, and for that I’m eternally grateful. But I know that Kellen is the one she wants, and Kellen wants her too. He’d love her if he could. I have to admit, I feel kind of horrible.”

“Seth,” Sorus smiled, “you think to much for others. It’s what I look for in the Light King, but you can’t just keep giving. At times you have to take. You’re not forcing her to love you, she chose you. Think about your own happiness.”

Seth took a breath.

He’s right, not being with Darby isn’t going to change anything between Kellen and her.

“There’s more,” Seth went on, “Anthony thinks we should attack Kellen, he’s in mourning. We should take advantage, but it’ll be war; it’s not the Light Empire’s way.”

Sorus waited a second before responding, “You know I can’t decide for you. That’s not what I am here for. You have to choose what you think is best for your empire. You are the Light King.”

“I don’t know what to pick,” Seth yelled, anger flaring in his voice; he faltered, instantly regretting it. 

Sorus was unaffected, “You’ll make the right choice, but if you choose not to attack; stay guarded.”

Seth nodded, frustrated with how the situation turned out.

The candle went out and he was alone.

“Seth,” Darby turned to him anxiously, “what’s going on? Something is obviously bothering you.”

Lie.

“I’m fine,” he forced a laugh, “what makes you think something is wrong?”

She observed him, “I’m not a child, I can taste that you’re not telling the truth and I can see it in your eyes. Now tell me, what is going on?”

“I’m just thinking.”

“About what?” 

He laid down beside her on the grass, “About us, the future, you.”

“Hmm, so am I the cause of that grimace?” she asked, putting her finger to his lips.

He changed the subject, “Are you happy here?”

She gazed around her surroundings, “Yes, I am. It’s amazing here, like a dream.”

“Did you ever visit the Dark Kingdom?”

“No,” she glowered momentarily, “Kellen said it wouldn’t be safe for me.”

At least he did something right.

“Why do you two hate each other so much?” She asked softly.

He frowned.

Hate is such an ugly word. . . to bad it’s the right one. Or at least, the closest one to what a light faerie could feel.

“We’re too different. That’s probably the simplest answer.”

“That’s logical, I guess. He’s definitely. . . not like you.”

He cocked his head as he surveyed her, “Do you miss him?”

She looked like she didn’t know how to proceed, “I don’t think I’ll ever fully get over him. But it hurts less when I’m with you.”

Harming him would hurt her. I don’t think I can live with that, especially knowing she’d never forgive me for it. 

“Do you have anyone like that?” She asked.

He shook his head. He had never been really in love with anyone, only her. That didn’t mean that he didn’t have close companions about the kingdom. He just wasn’t with them as frequently or had as many, as Kellen did. 

“No, but if you leave; I would know.”

She moved closer to him, “I wouldn’t hurt you like that. Not after everything that you’ve done for me.”

She would if Kellen loved her.

And in that instant he felt such detestation for Kellen. He could’ve sworn it was hate, it felt wrong but he couldn’t get it to go away. 

I will always come in second behind him.

But he still placed an arm around her, “I know. You’re a good person.”

She was silent, and for a moment he thought that she had fallen asleep, then she said, “Seth, I’m really not. I still dream that Kellen will love me, and if he did. . . I don’t want to use you. You don’t deserve that, I don’t want to hurt you; that was the last thing I came here to do. That’s why I don’t want to love you, because if somehow he could. . . I love him.”

“I know,” he whispered, loathing himself for it; he didn’t want to understand. But he couldn’t ever be mad at her for telling the truth.

“Are you mad at me?” She finally mumbled.

“No.”

I should.

“I’m sorry.”

“You can’t help who you love.”

“Or who you can’t,” she added.

He nodded. Desire running through his veins to lead a war on the Dark Empire. 

Get rid of him, maybe then she could move on.

But he still opted to remain silent. 

It’s not my place.

“What are you thinking about?” She laid a head down on his shoulder.

“Something Anthony told me.”

She sat up so she could look at him, “He wants to attack Kellen.”

She stated it calmly enough but he knew she was afraid for Kellen. 

Not telling her won’t help anything.

“He thinks that if we attack now we’d be victorious. He’s not on his guard, now would be the best time to do it.”

“Are you going to?”

“No.”

That seemed to startle her, “Really? Why not?”

“It would hurt you.”

That took her aback even more, “Oh! Thank you, that’s really amazing of you.”

Tell me about it.

“You’re welcome. I need you to be happy.”

Would I feel that way if she was with Kellen?