recognise this lie.

collapsing in on you are the words you have never spoken 
the ones that you've never thought 
the ones that don't matter 

collapsing in on you is the realisation that you're lying 
that the words you've never thought are the only ones you remember 
the only ones that matter 

collapsing in on you is the chaos that follows every time you forget that you remember 
every time you remember that you've forgotten what you didn't want to remember 
the only thoughts that don't matter 

collapsing in on you is the tears that drown the words you've never spoken 
the ones that you've always thought 
the ones that matter 

collapsing in on you is the 8 foot wide and inescapable and never-ending rabbit hole 
that gets smaller and smaller by the minute reminding you 
that your thoughts will only confine you 
even the ones you've never thought 

collapsing in on you is collective insanity 
a thought about not thinking is a thought about thinking after all 
isn't it? 

collapsing in on you are the things you've never done 
the ones you tell yourself you never did 
the ones that you've already done 

collapsing in on you are the people you've never met 
the ones you try to forget 
the ones that wish you hadn't met 

collapsing in on you is your existence 
the one you feel you don't have 
the one that won't die out 

collapsing in on you is the way your hands shake as you write this poem 
the one you never meant to write 
the one you've had written in your mind 

collapsing in on you is the thoughts you never wanted to have 
the things you never wanted to do 
the words you never wanted to say 
the poems you never wanted to write 
the people you never wanted to meet 
the existence you never wanted to have 

collapsing in on you is the only thought you know to be true 

collapsing in on you as you recognise this lie

 [m.r.]