Gratitude.

Poem - ATC

The crowd claps hands together

Awards are presented 

Gold Medals

Blue Ribbons

Fancy Bits of Paper.

The silent wind beneath mechanical wings 

get scorched by a sarcastic sun,

A winning grin.

The violent pain for granted taken

Of course by loving someone.

The sweaty, bloody tears forever hidden.

Black ash flaked out bits of paper. 

Turns dust into bitter scrap

Sharp and useless disregarded

No credit, no acknowledgement

No pat on the back. 

No Team, No Track. 

Reviews

[....................]

We don't always win in life and often put on a happy face to hide our pain. The cheerfulness of winning a competition in the first stanza is starkly juxtaposed against the darker imagery lingering in the second and third stanzas. In the end we don't get anything for trying. A great write ATC!

[Tinotenda Nyevedzanai]

Thanks very much :)

[R Smith]

all about winning turns to the despair of failure and the eventually black ash of being left without praise for effort, the sadness of losing, great write Ally :)

[Tinotenda Nyevedzanai]

Thank you Richard :)

[Emily]

I love this one!
I love the way you ended it too!
Well done!

[Tinotenda Nyevedzanai]

Thanks Emily for such a kind review :) means a lot - ATC

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This poem got my heart pounding.
Thought provoking work.

[Tinotenda Nyevedzanai]

Thank you I appreciate that - ATC

[Bright Ocean Star]

Some people are clueless about showing appreciation or respect. There are people who roam this world, who were never taught to say 'thank you'. I personally, choose to believe that they suffer from some kind of personality disorder that makes them less comfortable in society or with others. I know of one individual who is like this, and he's my personal project. If you turn the burden of the problem on their shoulders, you can find pity for them and understanding. It takes the bite out of their inability to show appreciation or congratulations, but then you know it is their problem...Not yours. I really liked this one, Ally. Very nice writing.

[Tinotenda Nyevedzanai]

Thank you, not all gratitude goes unsaid for lack of emotion.

[Bright Ocean Star]

yes. You are right. There are many reasons. Mostly pure stupidity and utter thoughtlessness. You successfully drew out emotion in me through reading this one, though. I thought it was terribly sad and unfortunate, but all too real for some people. Thanks again for sharing this with us.

[Matching Socks]

Scorched by a sarcastic sun...
That's such a great line ATC.

Sometimes the price of winning is just so high that you wonder if the prize was worth it and therefore don't truly feel gratified.

[Tinotenda Nyevedzanai]

Thank you Ana :)

[Matching Socks]

Youre welcome :)

[Adam Whitworth]

great smashing super, well done.

[Tinotenda Nyevedzanai]

Thank you Adam pleased you liked it :)

[♥ Ari Skye ♥]

This was a very interesting piece. I felt whisked away to like a marathon or triathlon... it was really great!
Great Piece, Fantastic job!

[Tinotenda Nyevedzanai]

Thank you so much I'm really pleased you enjoyed it :)

[AaronFreitas]

What an awesome poem Ally! I love competition and you got my attention with the first line... it captured my attention immediately. Very good work :)

[Tinotenda Nyevedzanai]

Thank you Aaron :)

[~]

Ohhh, some really beautiful metaphors here Ally. Your imagery saturates all five senses. Leaves the reader with wanting to know the reason why some get their way..

[Tinotenda Nyevedzanai]

Thank you so much :)

[~]

you are welcome :)