Two bricks in a Wall.

Poem - ATC

The bricks all stuck together,
They made a big red wall
Glued by cement they
couldn't move their positions at all.

One brick said to it's neighbor
"I hate that I'm placed next to you".
The other brick said nothing,
The feeling was mutual.

Years went by the bricks still side by side
"I'm never going to get you out of my life!"
The other brick said nothing,
Always quiet always thinking of ways
to break loose and be free.

A few more years went on and finally
the brick managed it and pushed himself
out from the wall,
"Wait I love you!" The neighbour brick said,
"I love you too.." He admitted before the fall.

She watched him lying on the floor,
in rubbled, broken pieces
whole never more,
Was it her fault?

Reviews

[EBquiet]

Super thought, Ally! We have seen all to often the silent partner in a relationship destroying it by their quietness. Communication is a big factor and key to staying together. Silence is dissolving the glue that bonds them together. Love the message here! Sounds like a great love story to me.

[Tinotenda Nyevedzanai]

Thanks so much

[jacob erin-cilberto]

so many different meanings could be constructed here from the bricks...we don't know what we've got till it's gone, yes. but also how if we stand together we are so strong---

familiarity breeds contempt, and yet---a kind of attachment.

"all in all it's just another brick in the wall"

nicely done...love the allegory here.

[Tinotenda Nyevedzanai]

Thank you Jacob your reviews are so appreciated :) I'm glad this piece got you thinking!

[R Smith]

both humour and message here in this poem, sometimes we wait to long to show our feelings and the relationship is broken like the brick beyond repair, this has to be the most original poem i've read in a long time, has to go in my library, thanks Ally :)

[Tinotenda Nyevedzanai]

Wow thank you Richard! I have a big smile :D

[Ana D S M]

Sometimes no one is to blame but we convince ourselves of the fault of others.
Check line two in stanza two. Good job here, great message.

[Tinotenda Nyevedzanai]

Oh yeah thanks!

[Ana D S M]

You're welcome. :)

[Adam Whitworth]

I think this is one of your better poems, but I think you can improve even more!!

[Tinotenda Nyevedzanai]

Thank you for reading any suggestions i'd be pleased to hear them!

[Jim Falcon]

There isn't a more elegant way to tell such a sad story. The last stanza makes your heart skip a beat at the least. Great poem. Thank you for sharing!

[Tinotenda Nyevedzanai]

Thank you Jim Falcon for taking the time to read and leave a review I really appreciate it :)

[Emily]

I love it!
Great idea for a poem!
Keep it up!!

[Tinotenda Nyevedzanai]

Thanks Emily :) I'm really pleased you liked it

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

All I could think of was Stockholme's.
What a trip.

[Tinotenda Nyevedzanai]

Haha I kept thinking of Pink Floyd, thank you for your feedback :)