My Life

A Story by Alissa

I will put this under the category of "story" because honestly, everyone's life is a story.

There are so many accounts of peoples' personal life experiences that , in all honesty, I do not believe mine are at all significant. However, My life is the only one that I am allowed to live at this moment and what I find easiest to write about, sometimes. So, while I do hope someone finds some meaning or enjoyment from these writings, that is not their intended purpose. I do not know what their purpose is, but hopefully, one day, I will find out.

January 20, 2013

I have been thinking too much lately, a product from feeling lonely I suppose. Kyle has not contacted me for almost two weeks now, a mixture of sadness and gratitude. It is right that he should move on, I said cruel things for that very purpose. Raja tried to kill a skunk last night, I called her a stupid dog, but all the time I was only worried that the skunk might have had rabies. It is a curious thing how my brain works now after medical training. Constantly I am taught to separate my emotions from an animal in pain to help them, save their lives. My brain and heart were having a battle last night when it was my dog that was in pain. My brain won over, I cleaned her wounds and bathed her 5 times. At least I know I am good at my profession. Although, very rarely does my brain win over matters of the heart, as I have recently found. I want so badly to find that one person, but he always seems to be just out of reach.

January 21, 2013

There was snow today, lots and lots of gorgeous snow. Unfortunately, snow makes the roads a dreadful place to be at any time of the day. The overwhelming sadness was unbearable when I was driving to school and saw 3 semi's and 20 cars mangled and thrown into a ditch or median. I can only hope that the energy I sent out to all those people was received and helped ease any suffering. I believe that I held my breath for the entire hour that I was driving on the highway, not being able to see more than two feet in front of me does not have a soothing effect. Nick asked me to let him know that I arrived safely to everywhere I was going. This surprised me because he is making it more openly known how much he cares about me. I like the feeling, but also feel like I should resist it at this point. He is 12 years older than me after all. A very handsome 12 years though.... I talked to my mother about it today, who is only 5 years older than him. She said he is trying to " court" me. I thought that was an interesting word choice and I liked the sound of that too. I shouldn't though. I guess I will just have to see where things go.