17. Fake

CHAPTER 17

 

 

 

 

Fake

 

 

 

 

 

     The cold chilling wind kept ruining my hair as we walked concurrently on the park. I decided to put my hair in a low ponytail, for me to not look like a huge fur beside a hot guy. It’s four in the afternoon, though it seems like five in the morning. I flickered to the wedge of the swans in the narrow pond with white lilies covering like an outline. There are some wild flowers covering the pond too and a few crickets singing.

     Only a few are strolling, but there’s something that caught my eye; three children playing a game of tag, two auburn boys and a brunette girl. The girl almost tripped, but the boy in a green shirt help her, and the other boy in a brown shirt came rushing to help too. I can guess that they’re probably between eight to nine years old. I missed being that young, when everything was on the way it should be. I have my two best friends who will always be there for me, like the little girl has right now. I buried my hands in the pocket of my hoodie as we continued to walk. There are only two things that are ruining this moment to being the perfect walk in the park: windy breeze, and persistent and annoying paparazzi. Okay, so maybe the paparazzi are a block away, but they’re still disturbing... which leads me back on wondering how Troy can do it; how he can go anywhere without worrying about them. He can walk pass people without them even realizing it. And if they do recognize him, he’s still cool without paparazzi.

     We decided to pick up are bikes that we left beside the bench, though we sat down first, since we strolled the two and a half mile park.

     “Do you want some refreshments?” Paulo asked.

     “No, I’m fine, I didn’t even break a sweat.” And that’s true, since it’s really windy, not a single drop of sweat came from my face.

     We sat still for a moment before he spoke again. “I know this is really embarrassing, but...” he paused for a second, composing himself together. “Can I borrow some money? Well, Sasha will be giving birth in a few days, and the doctor...”

     “Of course,” I smiled. “Paulo, we’d already talked about this over and over and over again...”

     “But I’ll pay as fast as I can,” he assured as if he didn’t say it before.

     “So, are you excited for the baby?”

     “What?” he looked at me bewilderedly.

     “You’ll be an uncle soon... aren’t you excited?” I said as if I just reminded him.

     “Oh. Of course I am,” he chuckled. “And the best part is it’s a boy. I’m thinking of naming him Jeremy,”

     “You’re gonna name him?”

     “Just gonna suggest to her,” he smirked. “C’mon, I need to escort Sasha to her doctor,”

     “Right. And I need to go too,” I smiled as we brought our bikes to his truck.

     He drove me home and then left quickly. I walked to the front porch and was about to go inside when my other phone vibrated. I ran toward the garden quickly and answered it while looking around to check if it’s clear. “Hello?”

     “Hey, it’s me.” Troy acknowledged. “Haven’t seen you since the day before the spring dance,”

     “Well, my brother is kinda punishing me right now... making me paint the fence,”

     “Can I come over?”

     “What?” I breathed. “I mean, I’m really covered in sweat right now and...”

     “I won’t be a bother... please.” He said in a juvenile tone.

     I think for a second. How much time will it take if I travel now? Or maybe I can take another ride from Troy. “Sure,”

     “Great,”

     “Bye,” I hung up and rushed to my room. I took my disguises and put it in my bag. I texted Stacey to pretend to paint their fence and promised to pay her, even if she doubles or triples the price of the amount she wants.

     Troy didn’t argue on giving me a ride again. I stepped out on the same spot then ran to Stacey’s house again. I brought an old jumpsuit and a ponytail for my wig. I pulled some loose strands and sprinkled some water to look like I’ve been sweating. Stacey bought the same cream paint like their fence, which is washable. I put a few on my jumpsuit and on my hand, and a few spikes around my face. I made my fake bangs untidy the moment Troy parked his car.

     “Hey,” he said as he walked toward me, one hand waving. I breathed twice before saying something.

     “Hey,” I sighed. “I’m almost done, by the way,” I grinned as I pretended to continue painting.

     “Can I help?” he crouched beside me.

     “No need,” I said looking back to the fence. He didn’t really follow me and took the extra brush.

     “You know, this is kinda fun,”

     “Sure. But you’ll get bored after a few hours,” I chuckled.

     “So, why are you painting this again?”

     “Because I’m a great artist,”

     He laughed at my lame joke. “No kidding,”

     “Well, my dad is out of town for the weekend and her innocent little girl is being punish by her cruel brother who doesn’t want to hang out with the prince charming,” okay, where the heck did I get that idea? Well, it flowed pretty well anyway.

     “And why does the cruel brother hate the prince?”

     I looked at him then shrugged. I don’t even know what I’ll say next. Stacey asked me a few days ago why I was keeping this to Troy. I mean, my mom said that I’ll be in undercover in school, but not to the Andersons in the first place. But to that question, I simply answered, this is the best way to spend time with my best friend.

     “Maybe because the cruel brother thinks that the heroine is the most beautiful and delicate girl in the world,”

     “Is that how you define me?” I looked to him.

     “No... I’ll define you as charming, an open book, and a proof that intelligence and beauty can be seen in one,”

     “Really. Want to know how I define you?” I chuckled.

     “What?”

     “Misinterpreted bad boy slash boy-next-door...”

     “Misinterpreted bad boy? Who said I’m a good boy?” he smiled crookedly.

     “If you’re not a good boy, then why are you doing that?” I flickered to his hand moving freely, and doing my supposedly punishment.

     “Well, like I said, it’s fun,” he flashed another smile. “Well, I’ll define myself, as sarcastic, ironic, optimistic, in a slovenly kind of way, and...”

     “Amazing, multitalented, I’m not even sure if you have a low or high self-esteem, since you change frequently.” I grinned.

     “How about you? How’ll you define yourself?”

     “Boring,”

     “You’re not boring,”

     “Shy,”

     “Especially not shy,” he grinned.

     “Quiet,”

     “Not even close...”

     “Sarcastic,”

     “Sometimes,”

     “Ironic...”

     “And that’s where I agree,” he said and stood up. “And the heroine’s punishment is finished by the mighty prince,”

     “Thanks,” I breathed. I almost forgot to ask him the question that kept bothering me. “So, how are you and Taylor?” And tell me the truth about the nonsense you said last night.

     “I’m not sure if she’s mad at me because she asked for a ride on the way, but I think part of her is...” he sat transversely from me.

     “And why is that?”

     “Well, I told her that her boyfriend is cheating on her,”

     “And you care to explain why is that?”

     “Paulo has been in my tour for a few years now, so I probably would know him better than Taylor. There’s this girl who keeps dropping by to him once in a while, and I’m pretty sure he’s still dating her until now. And by the way, the girl I’m talking about is currently pregnant.”

     I suddenly froze. Okay, so maybe he’s still wrong. Troy is speaking about Sasha, and Sasha is Paulo’s sister. That means, of course, she needs to drop by once in a while, because he’s her brother. I’m trying to make it all fit in a beautiful picture with the perfect sense. Stop being naive... there’s a more perfect sense why Sasha is pregnant, and you’re thinking of it. The voice inside my head yelled. No there isn’t... Sasha is pregnant because of her last boyfriend... I replied stupidly to the voice inside my head.

     “How can you be sure that the girl is his girlfriend?”

     “Hmmm... let’s see, they don’t look alike, but that’s just assuming.” He breathed. “Will an intense make out session in the backstage be a good proof that he’s a fake?”

     “Oh,” I swallowed hard. “Well, did you mention that to her?” like I don’t know what he’ll say anyway.

     “No, she didn’t give me a chance to...”

     “When are you planning to say it to her?”

     “I don’t know,” he breathed. “I don’t want her to get hurt, but I don’t know how to make her believe me,”

     “Just say it articulately and she’ll understand you,” you don’t need to say it at all, I got it already. I’m stupid, I got it.

     “I hope so,” he looked up and stared on the starry night.

     I took my phone to my back and sent Stacey a message saying that she needs to prepare dinner for us and I’ll pay her even how much as she wants.

     We stood up as I requested Stacey to hide for a few minutes.

 

 

     My plan went perfectly fine. Justin can actually be a movie star someday since he’s an astounding actor. It seems that Troy was somehow intimidated by him, and I was improving myself; I didn’t laugh, except when Justin was throwing a few jokes. I can tell that even as much as Troy wanted to shut up or leave, he decided to ride with Justin’s punch lines.

     Justin can pass as an actor, but not a very good chef. His first cooking was edible, though I’m not sure if I want Troy to eat it. It’s just my luck that Stacey cooked before Justin did, and let us have it.

     By the time Troy left, Justin was already asleep. I sat on their front porch swing, felt like not going home any time soon; and I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s still the thing that Troy mentioned about Paulo that never left my mind. I don’t know if I should believe him, though I don’t want to believe him. Maybe he just got the wrong perspective; maybe Paulo had an ex-girlfriend who is now currently pregnant. Right, that’s it. You are one stupid popstar, you know... the voice muttered in my head. Is it really my conscience or the more mature and sarcastic side of me?

     “Is there something wrong?” Stacey asked, coming from the door.

     “Can I stay here just for a little while? I’ll go home later.”

     “That’s fine,” she sat next to me. “Tell me, what’s swimming in your mind right now?”

     “You’re right,” I said not answering her question.

     “On what?” she asked bewildered.

     “That I shouldn’t be having two relationships at a time.” I murmured. Well, duh... who needs a two-timer, dummy... the voice muttered in my head again. Okay, I’m not thinking that... how can you think of that?

     “Good,” she breathed. “So, which relationship are you going to put an end?”

     I looked at her. “Honestly, I don’t know,” why can’t you just accept that the other one doesn’t deserve you? The cheating one... the voice said.

     “Are you going to do something about it?”

     I shook my head. I love Paulo. I love Troy. But I can’t love them both. Why am I in here anyway? I shouldn’t be choosing on both of them. My name is Taylor Samantha McKenzie and not Lauren Angela McCartney. And that means Taylor loves Paulo, and Lauren is in love with Troy. But I am Taylor. It all makes sense right now. There’s no picking needed, besides, if I pick Troy, I would lie to him half of my life. But in Paulo, there’s no more hiding. I can truly be myself when I’m with him.

     But in Paulo, he doesn’t really love you... he’s cheating on you for crying out loud and you just can’t accept it! The voice muttered again, and as much as I want to disagree... it’s right.

     “Your heart is telling something different. I can see that you only listen to your head because that’s what you think you want. You know, sometimes, the heart has a point...” Stacey whispered in the air.

     “Some people say that love is only in your mind... you just think that you’re in love with someone because you make yourself believe it.”

     “Taylor, you’re a smart girl... you know what’s right and what’s wrong... you know when to stop loving someone when they already hurt you so much,” she sighed. And that’s the thing. They both hurt me once. But Troy has a stupid reason that I can still somehow understand... but Paulo... I still have to talk to him. Like I said, Troy can be wrong somehow.

     “Give me one reason why you love Paulo and one reason why you love Troy,” she said after a long moment.

     “Only one?”

     “Yes,” she smirked.

     “Fine,” I breathed. “I love Paulo because... he makes me smile even on the most down moments I had,”

     “Are you really talking about Paulo?”

     “Of course,” I said and smiled.

     “What about Troy?”

     “I love Troy because... he’s perfectly imperfect. He’s everything I ever wanted. He completes me. Even if he irritates me, somehow, he can think of a way to make my day... and I never felt loving anyone and being loved by anyone as much as Troy did,” I blurted as I flickered to her.

     She grinned then flickered to the full moon.

     “Aren’t you going to say something?”

     “I only asked one,”

     “Well, to be honest... those reasons fit them both,”

     “Give me one sensible reason,”

     “Paulo is one of the best things that happened to my life. The perfect boyfriend you could ever ask for...”

     “That’s infatuation...” she sighed.

     I closed my eyes before speaking again. “And Troy... I love him because...” I let my voice trail off. I already said the reasons I have, nothing else.

     “Because...” she echoed

     “Because I don’t know.” I admitted. “I love him for him and on what I am when I’m with him. I love him, period. It’s unexplainable. There’s a word to describe it, but I just can’t find it. I crave to see him every day, and I always risk talking to him whenever I got the chance, even right now... I even added you and Justin to my problem just so I can spend time with him.”

     “Like I said, you’re a smart girl, Taylor... you would know that it’s love when you keep loving the person even though you don’t know why. I hope you’ll make the right decision. I’ll be inside reading my book. Just call me if I’ll drive you home,” she smiled then went inside their house.

     It’s very clear on what she wants me to know and there’s not much of an explanation for it. Stacey is telling me that I don’t love Paulo as much as I do to Troy. But the only thing that’s keeping me from following my heart is the same thing that is inside it.

     Troy wouldn’t love me the same. He only loves Lauren, and that’s because he doesn’t know who she really is. If I somehow do confess my real self to him, will he accept me like how he did to Lauren? I don’t even know if I want to end my relationship with Paulo. I mean, he hasn’t done anything to me except to be nice and be the perfect boyfriend you could ask for. I don’t want to jump in conclusions, and I would only dump him if I really see him cheating on me.

     I wish I’m not stupid enough to take less than a month to fall for two different guys who doesn’t even deserve a liar like me.