19. Disappointed

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

19.   DISAPPOINTED

 

     THE DAYS PASSED QUICKLY. ALL I DID FOR THE LAST TWO MONTHS was record the rest of my songs�"I just composed the last two of them a day before the last recording session�"then photo shoots. It’s been really hard, since I also have to do some concerts and cameos on some shows, and I even need to decline an offer of a movie just because of my schedule. But since I have to finish the album a month before Christmas, some efforts have to be put on.

     My album was released exactly a month before my birthday�"and now all I wanted for Christmas is a high gross sale. I’m not expecting much, it’s fine if my album just sold five hundred thousand copies, even if not today.

     I stood up, rubbing my hands together, as the doorbell rang. “Hey,” I opened the door.

     “Merry Christmas,” Shane greeted. For the last two months, there had been a few changes about Shane. First, he decided to have a new hair cut and loose his baby curls, for short straight hair and has a darker and more intense brown shade of it.

     “Merry Christmas to you too.”

 

 

♦168♦

     “Look who’s under the mistletoe,”

     I followed his gaze and saw his hand holding a mistletoe.

     “Hey, maybe you should go inside first. It’s freezing out here.” Nate muttered.

     “Oh, sorry.” Shane said going in.

     Nate with Kyla, Monica, Ashley and Ryan went in. It’s really great having them, like we’re a huge family.

     “Hey, did you hear the news?” Ryan asked, holding something that is covered with cloth.

     “What news?” I asked.

     “Your album already sold six hundred thousand copies in just a month!”

     “No way!” I almost screamed.

     “Way... “He took the cloth off, showing me the proof of having my album officially gold.

     “That’s great!” I hugged him quickly then Shane.

     “And maybe if you’re lucky, maybe you can have it platinum by New Year,”

     “Well, as much as I wish for that. It’s quite impossible. It’s only seven days until New Year.”

     “You wouldn’t know,”

     “Hey, your concert is tonight, right?” Nate asked.

     “Yah,”

     “Hey, where’s my gift?” Shane asked.

     “Here,” I took a box under the Christmas tree, “Open it,”

     “What’s this?” he shook it, finding no sound, he unwrapped it instead. His eyes dropped as he touched the book gently, as if it’s a new born baby.

     “Do you like it?” I asked, not sure on his reaction.

     “Where did you buy this?” he asked, not leaving his gaze to the book, “I already called for reservations, but I still haven’t got a copy.”

     “Well, I have my sources,” I said, lying. It was actually the last one on a bookstore in Texas, when I had a concert there once.

 

 

♦169♦

     And he has no idea on what trouble I’d been thru just to have that copy. First, I pleaded to the little girl to give me the copy. She wasn’t really nice, until his big brother came. He gave me the book without any hesitation, just to have my autograph and a picture of him. Yah, without the girl, she was actually the one who took the picture.

     “Are you Santa?” Shane’s question brought me away from that funny memory.

     “Close enough,” I chuckled.

     “Oh yah, here’s your gift,” he gave me a purple box.

     “You don’t have to get me anything. You already gave me an amazing gift on my last birthday.” I remembered the gold bracelet with a small diamond charm.

     “That’s fine.”

     I opened it slowly. There are a lot of wrappers that lead to a small pink box�"he’s such a waste on gift wrappers�"which has a small girl-holding-a-guitar-an-key charm. “Wow,” I’m really speechless this time. Before, I remembered him asking me on how I picture myself. I drew a girl holding a guitar in one hand and a key on the other. “Where did you buy this?”

     “Um, made it. Well, not technically. You like it?”

     “It’s amazing, I love it.” I hugged him.

     He added the charm on my bracelet.

     “Oh yah, here’s to Monica, Kyla, Nate, Ashley, Ryan, mom and dad.” I distributed the gifts. “I’m sorry it’s not that great. I don’t really have that much time for Christmas shopping.”

     They opened their gifts at the same time�"except for Monica of course.

     “Are you kidding me? This pair of stilettos is the one I’ve been looking for! And you’ve got the size!” Kyla said, “I’ve been reminding Nate to check it, but always forget my size. And I’ve been looking for this size since like forever,” she said, holding the pair of size seven aquamarine stilettos.

     She opened Monica’s gift next and said that Monica will love it.

 

 

♦170♦

     “I love my gift too, but sadly, I don’t know how to play it.” Nate said, holding the flute.

     “Well, I just remembered you saying that you want to learn how to play it. And you’re a fast learner.” I said.

     “Three weeks in Mexico,” my mom said.

     “You two need a break, right?”

     “You just want to send us away,”

     “Of course not. Besides, you need your alone time. And, I want a baby sister or brother,” I chuckled.

     “Well, I like Mexico, but no baby for you,” my mom assured.

     “Fine,”

     “Free gift certificates to my favourite stores,” Ashley said.

     “Hey, I have no more ideas.” I smiled.

     “Well, I like it.”

     “Oops, I’m so sorry!” I just remembered that her closet was crowded already.

     “It’s okay. I still have room for more.” And when she says room that means a real room. The vacant room next to theirs that was supposedly a guest room was now her closet.

     “A new pair of sneakers... You’re a physic,” Ryan said.

     “That’s a thanks, right?” I asked.

     “Of course.”

     “Then you’re welcome,”

     They handed me their gifts, which was a free spa for the weekends in two months, to relax, and Faith Hill’s new album.

     “Hey, you want to come with us in the airport?” Nate asked, as Shane elbowed him.

     “Um, who’s coming?” I asked.

     “It’s a surprise.” He smiled slyly.

     “Does she or he close to me?”

     “Yah,”

     “Is it... Miley?”

     “Don’t guess...”

     “It’s Miley, is it?” I smiled brightly.

 

 

♦171♦

     He didn’t answer.

     “I knew it!” excitement filled my voice. “So, what time will we pick her up?”

     “Um, right about now.” He stood up. “And it’s not Miley,”

     “Oh. Well, that’ fine.” I stood up.

 

     We went to their Volvo as the snow fall harder. I put my black coat over my white sweater since it’s officially freezing. Kyla and Monica stayed to our house with Ryan.

     We got to the airport faster than I expected through the heavy snow piled in the streets. I’m still guessing on whose coming. I even recited my relatives and some of their relatives which I remembered back in Kyla and Nate’s wedding.

     “So, where is this mystery person? And, do I really know him? ‘coz I already stated almost all of your relatives.” I muttered.

     “Yes. There he is,” Nate gestured.

     I followed his gaze to find a guy, holding two large bags, wearing a navy blue jacket and black jeans and dark shades. Why didn’t he cross my mind? Of all the names I kept babbling back in the car, why did I forget Mr. Adam Cyrus?

     “Hey, nice to see you again!” he walked toward us and tapped Shane’s and Nate’s back.

     “I thought you’ll be back on February?” I asked.

     “Hey, is that how to welcome me back?”

     “Possible, since you’ve been gone for only two months.” And not that long for you to be missed, I thought.

     He suddenly hugged me.

     “I kinda miss you,” I admitted.

     “Me too. Oh yah, I want you to meet someone,” he let me go quickly. “This is Candice Greene.” He pulled a brunette girl.

     She’s about Miley’s height, with cute bangs just above her eyes, not that thick, just the ones you see on supermodels.

     “And you must’ve know, this are my brothers Shane, Nate and my future sister, Alyson,” Adam told her.

 

 

♦172♦

     “Hey, nice meeting.” I put my hand in front of her.

     “Nice meeting you too. I’m such a huge fan,” she shook my hand. “You’re my role model, I love your personality and you’re so talented and down to earth.”

     “Well, that’s quite flattering. So you’re Adam’s...?” I asked though I already had a hint.

     “Girlfriend,” she let go of my hand

     “Right,” I kept my smile in place.

     It’s not really much of a surprise knowing Adam on how fast he can replace Arianna. Well, that kind of girl wasn’t much of a waste of tears anyway.

     “Hey, um do you guys want to go to my concert tonight? In Madison square garden,” I asked.

     “I heard about that. But sadly, we have no tickets,”

     “That’s not a problem,” I dug to my unorganized bag for the two extra tickets and backstage passes. “Here,”

     “Thanks,”

     I was planning for a longer conversation when I suddenly remembered that I’ll have our final rehearsal. “Hey, um, I forgot, I need to go,” I said.

     “Oh, um, rehearsals?” she guessed.

     “Yes,” I breathed. “See you later,” I smiled then flickered to Adam.

     “I’ll go with you,” Shane said.

     “Fine.”

 

     We took the cab instead, since they need the Volvo more. The snow was started to turn in a blizzard but I kept my hands on my pocket. I didn’t know that Shane was performing, alone.

     “Hey, are you disappointed?” he finally asked, taking his guitar.

     “Disappointed on what?” I asked.

     “That Adam has�"”

     “Shane, I’m happy for him. I’m really am. And I can see that Candice is really nice, unlike Arianna.” I said, though I never really sensed that Arianna was up to no good.

 

 

♦173♦

     “Right.”

     “And Adam deserves someone like her,” I added.

     “Fine,” he stood up from the couch.

     I put back my black coat on, since it’s starting to get cold again and the heater was no use. I took my camera continued my video blog. I want to edit it tomorrow, since I’m going to make another one for the New Year.

 

 

     I changed to my red sparkly dress�"its long sleeves, cause of the whether�" and took my silver guitar. I didn’t know that the concert was sold out. All of them�"including Adam and Candice�"are now sitting on the front row seats.

     “Hey guys! Hope you enjoy your Christmas.” I said as I sat on the round chair in the center. “Um, this song is one of my favourite in my album. I have my own version, but I hope you like it too.” I began playing the song, Last Christmas.

     I don’t know why, but as I started playing this song, I suddenly stared at Adam. I decided to look at Kyla instead, before he starts noticing me noticing him.

     I only sang three of my songs and two duets with Shane. After the concert, we decided to go to Shane’s house, since we were really planning on spending Christmas together, and it was a welcoming party for Adam too.

     “Hey, you want a cheesecake?” Shane asked me.

     “Maybe later,” I said.

     “Ms. Alyson Smith declining a slice of cheesecake?”

     “Unbelievable, isn’t it?” and it’s true. I somehow proved to myself that I’m addicted to cheesecake.

     “Yes,”

     “I just want some fresh milk and cookies,”

     “Right. You’re really becoming Santa, well, except for your figure.”

     “Sure,” I smiled.

 

 

♦174♦

     He led me to their kitchen. “One fresh cow milk coming up,”

     “Thanks,”

     “Hey, listen up. I just want to hear your opinion.” Adam said in the living room.

     “What’s that?” I heard Nate asked.

     “Here’s your milk,” Shane gave me a glass. We walked near to the door of the kitchen, to see Adam clearly.

     “Since my brother Nate already tied the knot, what if, me and Candice do that too?” Adam asked the same time I drank the milk.

     I quickly spit it out, not because of what I heard, but because the milk was already spoiled. “Ew!” I took the bottle of water in Shane’s hands and drank it.

     Next time, smell the milk first, I reminded myself.

     “A simple ‘you’re too young’ or ‘no’ can help.” Adam muttered.

     “What?” I suddenly realized the exact timing of my spitting. “Oh,” I felt my cheeks blushed. “That’s not what I meant. The milk was already spoiled.”

     “Sure, whatever.”

     “Fine. if you want, drink it without spitting it out and I’ll give you a hundred bucks.” I challenged him.

     “Sure,” he approached me, “Give it to me.”

     “Fine.” I handed it to him.

     He smelled it first, then looked at me.

     “What are you waiting for?”

     “Um, maybe I’ll do it next time. A hundred bucks isn’t that necessary,” he went back to where he was standing before.

     I took a bite on the huge�"it’s larger than my palm�"cookie.

     “Oh yah, another announcement,” Adam said, “Tomorrow, Candice and I will go to Korea,”

     “But I haven’t got to know Candice yet,” I heard Ashley muttered lowly.

     “You can do that next time,”

     “Hey, I’ll just go out for a sec, okay?” I told Shane, just in case he comes looking for me later.

 

 

♦175♦

     “Fine,” he said.

     I went out the door and walked toward their bench. I wiped the snow off, and then sat gently. There’s no change on the breeze, which is still cold as ice. I took a peek from the window to see Adam and Candice cuddling and laughing at the same time.

     I turn around again and stared at the moonless sky splashed with millions of stars. I rubbed my hand again. Who wants some air in this kind of season anyway?

     Stop expecting. A voice from my head said. Expecting what? But I know that the voice in my head is still mine. And I know what she meant. Stop expecting him to still feel the same way. Time pass, people change. He can change.

     He can always change.

     I closed my eyes and think for a moment.

     “Shane is perfect. I love him and he loves me too... so much.” I murmured to myself.

     “Who the heck are you talking to?” I heard Adam asked.

     “Um,” I looked at him, suddenly, in perfect timing, Strawberry pop beside me. “Strawberry, obviously.”

     “Right.”

     “What do you think? That I’m out of my mind?”

     “If I don’t know that you’re crazy, I would probably say yes.” He sat beside me. “Want some?” he offered me a cup of coffee.

     “Thanks,” I took it. “Is this Vanilla?” I smelled it.

     “Yes. With Java chip cookies.”

     “Thanks,” I repeated then took a sip. It’s pretty hot but just perfect for the weather.

     “So, you missed me?” he gave his crooked smile, which is becoming disturbing in a while.

     “What?”

     “You whispered to me this morning,”

     “I was just kidding,” I chuckled.

     “Really,”

     “I thought you’ll be back in February?”

 

 

♦176♦

     “I got bored. And I want you guys to meet Candice,”

     “Right. So I’m guessing that you found yourself by her.” I took another sip. “So um, where did you meet her?” I asked my tone suddenly interested.

     “She was singing in a cafe,”

     “And that scenery became smooth, obviously.”

     “Yes. But she’s different.”

     “You say that to all your girlfriends,” I said. It’s just then that I realized that that’s the same thing he said to me too, which made it awkward.

     “To all...” he breathed. “Of course, everybody’s different.”

     “And let me guess, you told her that you’ll wait forever and a lot more of your lame lines like...” I let my voice trailed off.

     “Like what?”

     I took a sip. I need to have a control over my mouth next time.

     “Oh please, I don’t repeat my moves to girls,”

     “Right. That’s why you also told Arianna the same line.” I said, looking straight ahead.

     “Hey, I only said always... not forever.”

     “That’s the same.”

     “You know it’s not,”

     “Yes it is,” I looked to him, then look down again.

     “You know, maybe what I said back in the airport was true. You’re really not like my ex, you’re like a sister.”

     “Of course, I’m with your brother.” I looked to my coffee.

     “So, are you saying that you two will be married a few years from now?”

     “Maybe,” I swallowed hard.

     “Can I be the best man?”

     “Sure.”

     “You’re now my little sister, future, little sister.”

     “Fine. Since you’re really older than me,”

     “I accept that.”

     I sigh, took another sip then say, “Good,”

 

 

♦177♦

     “Why are you out here again?”

     “I want some air.”

     “In ten degrees Celsius,”

     “I like the breeze.” And that’s not a lie. I’m kinda appreciating the cold now.

     “Sure you do,” he said.

     “How about you? Why are you here?”

     “I want fresh air too,”

     “Liar,” I stood up.

     “What did I say?”

     “Nothing. I just want to go inside now. You coming?”

     “Maybe later.”

     “Suit yourself,” I walked in the door.

 

 

     The night turned out perfectly fine. We baked cakes and cookies all night. Candice was a great song writer too; we even composed a song together, just a souvenir for her short stay here. I know that it’s inappropriate to say that she seems to acts like me, but she totally seems to, or I guess it’s just a coincidence.

     I found out that we’re in the same age, and she has some characteristics I wished I have when I was young. She also studied culinary arts for two years, and that she loves playing instruments, particularly guitar.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

♦178♦