11. Recovery

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

11.   RECOVERY

 

     I WOKE UP AS THE SUN STROKE TO MY FACE. I DON’T HAVE MY alarm now to wake me up, since I threw my phone. Instead, I used my old phone�"I just deleted all the files with him in it and his number as well�" than to use nothing, since I’m not sure on when I can buy a new one. It’s a good thing I haven’t change my wallpaper in it yet�"it’s me and Shane in Tokyo about a year ago.

 

     I packed a lot of clothes now, since we’ll be staying in New York for a couple of weeks, just to shoot the scenes left. And more importantly,�"for me�"to not see him, or at least not see him in person as much as possible. Maybe I can manage that for a few weeks. It’s been a week already since the last incident and I haven’t cried ever since and now will be the time to test how strong I can be.

     And maybe later I can call my management to say that I’ll be cancelling my tour with them, since I know that he knows that I’ll be going to New York, though I’ll be keeping the other reason for myself. I already called Shane last night to tell him my plan, and he agreed.

 

 

♦99♦

     I headed to the studio where all of them are ready to go. “Hey, sorry I’m late. I overslept,” I explained.

     “Don’t worry, you’re just in time,” Jake said.

     I went in the bus to see Sam alone. I wonder on where are the others.

     “Hey Alyson,” Sam greeted, showing her dimples.

     “Hi,” I said, sitting on the couch across her and putting my bag on the chair beside me.

     “That’s odd,”

     “What’s odd?”

     “Well, for the last two months, whenever we travel to shoot a scene, Adam would be here, still talking to you or something,”

     “That’s not odd, that should be the normal thing to happen,”

     “Where is he anyway?”

     “At home,” I took my iPod and put it on. I just wish she won’t ask any more questions about that guy.

     “Did you two fight?”

     I nodded, putting the volume of my iPod to its highest. I looked at her and read in her mouth the word, why? “I don’t want to talk about it,” I finally said. “Could you do me a favor?” I took off one of my earphone.

     “What’s that?”

     “Could you please not speak his name? It just irritates me,” I admitted.

     “Wait, you two broke up?”

     I didn’t answer. Instead, I tried to forget her being there. I can still her through the loudest sound. Especially her annoying question,

     “Who broke up with whom?”

     “Aargh! You’re hopeless!” I took the pillow beside me and covered the upper half of my face.

     I took it off as my phone rang.

     “Hello?” I took off my earphone.

     “Hey, it’s me Shane,”

     “Ah, it’s a great timing you called,”

 

 

♦100♦

     “Um, I have bad news,” he breathed then continued before I could say a thing. “Our concert is in New York.”

     “Oh,”

     “And according to our management, you’re still coming,”

     “Right,”

     “I’m sorry,”

     “It’s fine. I concert is just great,” saying those words just made it a lot worse. “I’ll call you back later, okay?”

     “Sure, bye.” He hung up.

     “So...” Sam said, in her annoying tone.

     “I guess the concert in NYC,”

     “How about the...”

     “I don’t know,” I admitted, not letting her finish the sentence.

     “But you’ll still do the...”

     “Yes,”

     “Why?”

     I sighed, “I have no choice,”

     “You always have a choice,”

     “I can’t quit. Yet.” I breathed. “Maybe after the movie I’ll deal with that.”

     “The movie isn’t finish yet,”

     “That’s right,” I said, trying to give her the point that I can’t understand myself.

 

♪♫♪

 

     The trip was fine. We just sang the songs and I even composed a new one. I called Kyla since we won’t have our shopping spree for a few weeks, except if she came with them, of course.

     Four and a half hours wasn’t that long, I didn’t even notice that we’re already there. We stepped outside as I saw Shane checking in with the rest in the same hotel as we are. I saw Ashley with them, as she smiled at me. I guess no one knows what happened except for the four of us.

 

 

♦101♦

     I haven’t talk to my parents about it yet, and I have no plans on doing so. I’m already old enough to fix my own problems. And this time, this isn’t really a problem, since there is no solution.

     “Alyson,” Shane knocked to my suite.

     “Come in.” I said after I changed.

     “I’m sorry. I didn’t know that you guys are staying in this hotel,”

     “It’s fine,”

     “And, like what you said, I haven’t talk to him yet.”

     “Yet? Shane, I don’t want this thing to be a big deal. It’s over. Life and love moves on. I’m fine already,” I said as my voice cracked on the last phrase.

     “I won’t talk to him about you,”

     I just stared at him, expecting him to explain what he just said. Yah sure, he won’t talk to that guy about me, knowing him too well, that’s probably a lie.

     “I swear just about some things.”

     “Like what?”

     “Some things,”

     I punched him on the shoulder lightly.

     “Aw,” I stared at him for a moment again until he spoke, “Fine, no talking for me,” he sighed, “Want to have lunch?”

     I thought about it for a brief second, “Sure.”

     “And no worries, he’s not there,”

     “Who’s asking?” I breathed. “C’mon, I know that I just ate two hours ago, but I’m kinda getting hungry already,”

     “Right,” he was about to open the door when his phone rang,” Wait just a sec,” he said to me.” Hey... what? Oh, I forgot... fine... ready two cheeseburgers. We’ll try... bye,” he shut his phone.

     “Who’s that?”

     “Nate, Adam said he wanted to talk to us.”

     “Right,” I didn’t ask for any more questions. If he’s planning to say he wants me out of the band, its fine with me. Besides, he’s the reason why I got in anyway, and he’s my trip out too.

     We headed to their suite�"which is just a floor up from mine. He opened the door as I saw my other two band mates.

 

♦102♦

     “Where are the burgers?” Shane asked.

     “Here,” Nate tossed him two burgers.

     He gave me the other burger. “Thanks,” I murmured.

     “So, what do you want to talk about?” Shane asked, sitting on the couch as I followed.

     “I’ll quit the band.” Adam muttered nonchalantly.

     “What?” Nate asked.

     “I’ll have a break first, maybe a tour in Asia or Europe to have a peace of mind.”

     I took two deep breaths. “You can’t quit the band.” I managed to say without taking a glimpse of him.

     “And why not?” his voice filled with bitterness.

     “I was thinking about this for a long time now. Since a lot of recording companies are offering me a solo record deal, I was thinking of quitting myself.” My voice turned lower, as if I’m only talking to myself. Why does he need to ruin my life when I’m already having my recovery?

     “You can’t quit the band!” Shane muttered.

     I took another deep breath. “Shane, you were a boy band before I joined in and... you know I can’t do it any longer,” I blurted, only looking at him.

     “You can’t!”

     I closed my eyes, “I already made up my mind,”

     “Fine, whatever.” Adam spoke again. I guess that means he won’t quit anymore. A small sacrifice can do a huge difference. Maybe I can’t be a part of the band anymore, but at least they’re still together.

     “Um, is that all? I need to go now,” I looked at Nate with pleading eyes to let me leave already.

     “Alyson? Did you guys fight?” Nate asked. “Quitting is really a serious decision. Maybe you two can work it out again,” Great, his own brother is clueless about everything that just happened a week ago. Why can’t he just read my mind like he always does? Besides, he’s a mind reader; I don’t need to talk about it anymore.

 

 

♦103♦

     “We did not fight. I need to leave now,” I went out of the room and stopped for a second and closed my eyes before another tear fall again. I breathed again then when I’m sure that there’s no more tear trying to escape from me, I headed to Becky’s suite.

     “Hey, you’re late.” Becky said.

     “Sorry.” I bit my lip.

     “C’mon, we need to head to the school whose name I forgot.”

 

 

     The taping of the scenes helped me a lot. It got me pretty occupied�"well, who won’t be occupied when you need to take a bite on a cupcake for twenty times?

     After shooting the last dancing scene, I suddenly remembered the book I was about to borrow from Kyla. I headed to their suite after changing into a more casual suit, expecting her to be alone this moment. I know that the boys should be having a sound check or something right now about their concert.

     I was about to open the door when I heard Shane muttered. “I warned you before to never hurt her again.”

     “I don’t take warnings too seriously.” I heard Adam saying as he somehow losing his breath.

     “I knew it. I shouldn’t have let you have her again. If she only didn’t love you that time,”

     “Let me go!”

     “Do you know how much I envy you for having the love that is not rightfully yours? And you just wasted that chance.”

     “You don’t know what happened.”

     “You’re the one who don’t understand it. You never understand her.”

     “Then you can have her. I don’t care if you two ended up being together.”

     “What do you think she is; a toy that you can leave when you’re bored and then pick it up when you wanted it again?” Shane’s tone was furious than ever. I never heard him use that kind of tone before.

 

 

♦104♦

     “No,” he said, his voice almost inaudible. I guess they might be near the door for me to hear them.

     “You’re lucky you’re my brother, or else I might kill you right now.”

     I took a peek on what they’re doing. Shane is holding him on the neck while Adam keeps catching for his breath. “Shane,” I said, as if just calling him for nothing.

     “Alyson,” he said, and then all of a sudden, he’s on the floor after Adam punched him.

     “Shane!” I ran toward him.

     “I’m okay,” he said, shaking his head.

     Adam walked out of the room, as if nothing happened and there’s just a false alarm that called his attention.

     “Are you okay?” I asked.

     “Like I said, I’m fine.” He stood up.

     “Why did you do that?”

     “What? I’m the one who got hit.”

     “You know what I mean.”

     “He’s the reason why you quitted the band�"”

     “No he’s not,” I cut him off, “and like I said, I made up my mind. I never told you about it before, since I don’t know if that’s the right thing to do. But in this time, I guess I need to say it before your band be destroyed because of his foolishness.”

     “But you wouldn’t make that decision if he didn’t break your heart. You’ll still be with us and still be laughing about almost everything.”

     “We will still do that. Shane, you’re still my best friend. Nothing will change. We may have a different schedule, but that doesn’t mean our friendship will be gone.”

     “Are you really going to be a solo artist?”

     “Yes,”

     “How about our album?”

     “It’s finished already, right? Then that can be out.”

     “Except for the photo booklet in it, we still haven’t done the photo shoots yet.”

 

 

♦105♦

     “You can do it without me. It’s fine.”

     “You sang all the songs in that album, plus, you composed and co-composed all the songs.”

     “That’s just duets, and, composing is my thing. It’s fine for me to compose for your album.”

     “But still. I know that it is his fault. Whether you admit it or not,”

     “Shane. I already had my recovery from him. Well, I think I had.”

     “Recovery? Is he some kind of traumatic event?” he chuckled.

     “Maybe you can consider that. But I’m fine now. I’m tired of crying and making my eyes red.”

     “Right,”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

♦106♦

 

Reviews

[blackrose24]

i want to know on how that would feel, on moving on from a past relationship that fast when you loved him for years.. i know how that hurts, and when that happened to me, i didn't get over it for months..