20. WHITE HORSE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

20. White Horse

 

     OKAY, IT’S BEEN MORE THAN A MONTH NOW SINCE THE LAST incident and we’re having a concert tour in Phoenix. Miley already left two weeks ago, so it’s Shane and I again. I sat beside Shane as we waited for the plane, Nate and the other one, sat across us, since we’re not using a private plane.

     “You okay?” Shane asked me.

    “Yah of course… I’m just a little sleepy, that’s all…” I tried to smile as I put my head on his shoulder.

     “Me too…”

     “So what time will the plane arrive?”

     “I don’t know… it’s a little late now…”

     It’s already eleven pm, finally our plane arrived. We quickly went in and it’s really crowded. All the seats are taken. Shane sat beside Nate. There’s only one vacant seat I can see. Now I saw his face again. He’s not looking at me or one glimpse, which is just what I want. I can’t believe of all the last seats it has to be beside him. Am I really cursed or it’s just my bad luck? I tried to look around for other seats but there are really no other available seats. I want to switch seats with Nate but he’s asleep, and Shane as well.

    I have no choice so I sat quietly and put my iPod on. “Can I have a pillow?” I asked the stewardess.

 

 

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     “Here you go…” she said giving me a pillow.

     I hugged the pillow tightly since I can’t look nor take a glimpse at my right, since I know I’ll see him, so I decided to face Shane, but he’s really asleep.

     I haven’t talk to him since the last incident, and he stopped calling me since I really don’t answer his calls. I once answered it but he just keeps repeating the things he said before and I’m tired of it. I turn my iPod off and tried to sleep. I buried my face to the pillow and close my eyes.

     I know I’m not completely asleep, though I can feel my head slightly falling to someone’s chest. Who’s in my right again? I already know the answer to my own question. I know my head didn’t fell on itself and someone pushed it slightly. He suddenly put his arm around me and I can feel the pillow drop to my feet, and suddenly my arms are moving it, making a hold around him.

     I can feel his hands brushing through my hair. Why do I still feel this thing? I’m trying to move on already. I broke up with him a month ago, but why can’t I let my arms go from him? It’s like it’s meant to be attach to him.

     I’m pretty sure I’m only half asleep, though I can’t open my eyes, I can hear him murmuring too low for anyone to hear, except for me.

     “Alyson, if you just listen to me, that I didn’t cheat on you… I guess this is the only time I can be with you again… I hope this just stay forever…”

     I know I need to fight this before I let myself fall for him. It’s like my tears want to run down again, but at least there’s one thing I can handle.

     But how come my mind doesn’t agree with my heart? I could have let go of him by now and wake up. He’s right, this will be the only time he’ll be with me and I’ll be with him.

     “Would you like a pillow sir?” I heard the stewardess asked.

     “Ah no, we’re fine…” he said.

 

 

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     I know he’s sleepy as well, I can feel his head fell on mine. I tried to open my eyes again but still, I can’t.

 

     I woke up, his head still on mine. I picked the pillow on my feet and gently replaced myself with it. Good thing he’s really a heavy sleeper. Almost everyone is still asleep including Shane.

     I stare at Adam; he looks the same boy I met a year ago at a CD store. Stop it Alyson, you don’t love him anymore. I think to myself. I slightly brushed my fingers to his wavy hair. I stopped myself again when I realized what I’m doing; I’m falling for him again. What’s wrong with me? Why do I keep repeating this, I can’t be with him again, I don’t want to be hurt again.

     I quickly took my book and tried to read to forget about him. I look at the words but I just can’t read anything. He suddenly woke up, so I pretend to read, though it’s like I can’t see anything.

     “Guess you forgave me already…” he said.

     “What?” I asked still looking at the book.

     “C’mon, you already slept on me—”

     “Slept on you?” I chuckled as convincingly as possible. “You have a wild dream… you’re holding a pillow…”

     “I know what happened before I fell asleep…”

     “You just had a nightmare…”

     Then the stewardess said something I didn’t understand then the other passengers started getting their things so we must be here already.

     “C’mon…” Shane said.

     I quickly took my bag and went to Shane’s side.

     “So how’s your sleep?”

     “Um, great… I think…”

     “Of course she had a great sleep; she had a soft pillow…” Adam muttered from behind.

     “What are you talking about?” Shane asked.

     “I have no idea as well…” I murmured.

 

 

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     We went straight ahead the tour bus— which I don’t know how it reached Phoenix faster— while a lot of bodyguards covered us. I put my bag down and sit beside Shane on the couch.

     “Okay, I know that there’s this incident last month, but I hope you can be mature and professionals enough…” Nate mumbled flickering to me then to Adam.

     “Of course…” Adam said quickly.

     “Alyson…” he looked at me.

     “I can do that…” I muttered.

     “Please, even just pretend that you two are okay…”

     “I always do that…” Adam said.

     “I can pretend… but I can’t act like we’re still together…” I muttered.

     “That’s okay…” Nate said.

     “So, what time is our first stop?”

     “About an hour from now…”

     “That early?”

     “Yah…”

     “Okay…”

     Shane turned the TV on to a movie I don’t know what’s the title is. It’s boring so I decided to continue my reading. Shane brought his cards out so we just played with it; he even showed me some magic tricks. I didn’t know that he can do magic.

 

     It went so fast, we’re already done at the first mall, and at least I didn’t forget my lines. I still did duets with Adam; we stayed as far from each other as possible, I just sang beside Shane, it’s like I’m not even performing with him, as if I’m just in a rehearsal with a tape or something.

     “That was great… okay just some pictorials, interview and album signing to go…” Nate said.

     “Sure…” I murmured.

     “And thanks for not arguing on the stage…” he looked at

 

 

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me then to Adam.

     Shane taught me some of his tricks on the way, the others are easy but some are really hard to learn. It’s really fun that I didn’t even notice that we’re here already.

     We sat to the chair with a table completed with four pens and four bottles of water. I didn’t know that our names were attached to the chair, and since Nate’s is on the first chair, Adam’s on the second, mine on the third and Shane’s on the last, I have no choice but to sit beside him again.

     My hand and cheeks hurt after the album signing. I didn’t thought that there would be a lot of kids and teens who wants to have a picture with me and ask for my autograph, but the most annoying part is that they ask for a picture of me and Adam and I have no choice but to fake my closeness to him.

     “Ah… it feels really good not to smile anymore…” I mumbled.

     “I know…” Shane agreed sitting next to me.

     “Maybe I need to sleep first…” I lied down and put my head to Shane’s lap and covered the upper half of my face with a pillow.

     “So, when’s our next mall tour?” I heard Adam asked.

     “Eight hours from now…” Nate answered.

     “When’s the next interview?”

     “Tomorrow…”

     “Interview for what?” I asked taking the pillow off my face.

     “On the upcoming album of course… oh yah, when they ask about personal things such as relationships—”

     “I’ll say I never been so happy to be single again…” I cut him off.

     “Okay… just don’t tell them what happened…”

     “Why not?”

     “It will be a huge issue and for sure it’ll last for a very long time…”

     “Did you have an issue like this before?”

 

 

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     “Yah… and I’ll tell you, if you’re really a member on the band, you won’t want to tell them the true story…”

     “Sure… I’ll give them a lot of lies…”

     “Not lies… you’ll just play safe…”

     “Whatever… wait what will I say then? If I won’t say that he cheated on me?”

     “I didn’t cheat on you!” Adam muttered.

     “Just say, some feelings change… the heart moved on… something like that… besides, you’re good at making things up…” Nate said.

     “Sure… then I’ll be the bad guy for breaking up with him…” I said not even taking a glimpse to Adam.

     “Then just don’t say who broke up with whom…”

     “Alright… if they believe me…”

     “Or you can say you don’t want to talk about it… yah that would be safer, they might not ask anything about it…”

     “Sure, fine… I’ll just go with the flow…”

     “Oh yah, it will be in California… we forgot to take a ticket so our tour bus will try its best to get back to California in time…”

     “Okay…” I lied down to Shane’s lap again and covered the upper half of my face.

 

     The time passed quickly. The second mall tour was over and tomorrow will be the interview. But I guess I’ll just play safe like what Nate said, since I don’t want to answer a lot of questions anyway. We practiced all day, since we have nothing to do. I look at the song I composed a few weeks ago— for broken hearted girls, which is really sarcastic for everyone— though I think Adam won’t approve to put it on a last minute recording session nor the next album.

     I woke up earlier than the rest so I decided to do my own routine like every morning and fixed breakfast for the whole band— including Adam, I guess— and the bodyguards and driver. I cooked pancakes—since they don’t have much food

 

 

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supplies—which finished just in time when they woke up.

     “Hey, I smell pancakes…” Shane said.

     “You’re right…” I said preparing the plates. I already gave the bodyguards, our other band mates and Richie—our driver— their plates and pancakes since they woke up the same time I did.

     “I hope mine doesn’t have any poison…” Adam muttered.

     “Don’t worry; the food poison is out of stock… maybe next time…”

     “Ah… it’s so nice to see you two already alright…” Nate said tapping our shoulders.

     I took the orange juice from the refrigerator and poured it to ever glass. Then I sat between Shane and Nate. “So what time is the press conference?”

     “Ten…”

 

     We reached the press conference at exactly ten. I can see that the photographers and reporters are all ready. We sat at the same position as before. I took a deep breath.

     “So, how do you feel now that your next album will be launch a month from now?” a guy asked.

     “Of course, on behalf of the whole band, we’re really excited, thankful and the same time nervous… but we thank of course God, our parents and all the staff members for helping us to accomplish this…”

     “Ah… do you think the next album will be as successful as the last one?” a woman asked.

     “We’re hoping… though of course, we can’t deny it that we’re wishing for more than ten million copies sold worldwide, since we have a new member of the band…” Shane said flickering to me.

     “Ah, we’ve heard a lot about you Ms, Alyson Smith, they said that you’re such a great singer and songwriter… so how was it, working with the unknown?” another man asked.

 

 

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    “Well, it’s great, and it’s really flattering to work with the hottest band in the planet…” I answered.

     “And of course, a year ago, you Mr. Adam confirmed that you two are dating, so how’s your relationship now?”

     “Um, my relationship with my co-lead singer is just friends… I’m happy now being single…”

     “Really… what happened?”

     “Well, um, I guess some feeling change… I guess the heart just moved on…” I remembered what Nate said.

     “Is that what really happened?”

     “Yes… but I don’t want to talk about it anymore… I’m kinda moving on anyway…” I tried to smile.

     “How long now since you broke up?” a woman asked.

     “Almost a month now…”

     “And you can still do duets with him, after what happened?”

     “Yah… I guess… its part of what I do…”

     “You’re strong…”

     “Thanks…” I still tried to keep my smile.

     “So, did you found anyone in your interest?”

     “Not yet, of course…”

     “Is it hard to do a tour with your ex?”

     “Um, of course, it’s kinda hard, but I’m trying to keep up a good work, since I have great friends who are supporting me…”

     “To you Mr. Adam Cyrus, how do you feel when you perform with her?”

     “It’s not that hard… besides, it’s all about the music, not the one you’re singing with… and I think we’re mature enough to set aside our personal life from our work…” Adam said swiftly.

     “To Mr. Shane Cyrus, a year ago, you admitted that you like Alyson and she’s your best friend, now that they broke up, will you take the opportunity to court Alyson?” another woman asked.

     Shane just chuckled. “Um, Alyson and I are totally best

 

 

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friends… and before, I admit it, that I like her more than that, but, I repeat, but we don’t like brotherly competition—”

     “But now you don’t have a brotherly competition since they broke up,”

     “Um, yah… but she only treats me like a brother now, and I kinda treat Alyson the same as well…”

     “Really… we saw some pictures of you and Alyson on the internet, hanging out…”

     “Like I said, she’s my best friend and that’s what friends do…” he cut her off quickly.

     “To Mr. Nate Cyrus, are you and Ms. Kyla Bloomwood still steady?”

     “Yes, I think she’ll be the girl I’m sure to be marrying someday…” Nate said.

     “To Ms. Alyson again, since we know you’re an amazing songwriter, have you written a new song about breakups that will come out on your new album?” a guy asked.

     I took a sip on my bottled water. “Um, yes, I’ve written a new song, like a few weeks ago, but no, it won’t be on the next album…”

     “Why not?”

     “Because,” I took a deep breath. What will I say? I need to think fast. “Because I still respect my band mates even on what happened. And I don’t think it’s appropriate to put a song that is about someone, or I guess, maybe it’s appropriate if it’s my solo album, but we’re one band, and I can’t help seeing a band mate affected or being force to sing a song that is actually about him…” I took a sip again.

     “So does that mean you still care about Mr. Adam Cyrus?”

     “Um, on our band, yes… but personally and emotionally no…”

     “If you’re given a chance to have your solo album, will you put that song to your album?”

     “Um, well to tell you the truth, probably… but having a solo

 

 

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album is not yet on my plans… and I guess, will never be…”

     “Mr. Adam Cyrus, how do you feel that there’s actually a song that is about you?”

     “Um, I think it’s flattering…” Adam said.

     “Flattering?”

     “Even if I haven’t heard the song yet, it’s flattering to be an inspiration to a song…”

     “So if it’s been added to your album, would you sing it?”

     “Yes… absolutely,”

     “Ms. Alyson, will you sing us the song?”

     “Um, sorry…” I cleared my throat. “Sorry but my voice is a little rough… I think I need to rest my voice first…” I lied.

     “Even just the refrain?”

     I looked at Shane then to Nate, they just nodded. That’s a yes, right? “Well,”

     “Just the refrain or chorus…”

     “Okay…” I said. I sang the refrain.

     “You sure you don’t want to put that on your album?”

     “Um, we don’t have any time… our schedule is really hectic… with concerts, album signing, tours…”

     “Ah…”

     “I guess we need to go now… we’ll be late for our next mall tour…” Nate said before another question attack me.

     “Thanks for your time.”

     We smiled for the last picture then headed back to the tour bus.

     “Okay, please, please tell me that’ll be the last press conference I’ll be in…” I said.

     “Okay, that’ll be the last press conference you’ll be in… today…” Nate said.

     “Nice answers, Alyson…” Shane said.

     “Hey, it’s not my fault I got pressured… I don’t have a lot of time to think for my answers… you only said about on what I’ll say about the break up…”

 

 

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     “No, seriously… nice answers…”

     “Well, um, thanks… I think… though a lot of it is lies…”

     “Really? Well you look and sound really convincing…”

     “My acting skills are getting better…”

     “Congrats…”

     “Thanks… so where are we going next?”

     “Home…” Nate said. He turned the TV on.

     The news is about us, about our break up. Great, I thought that was finish.

     “Hey, I look good on the press…” Shane said.

     “Yah, sure…”

     “Hey, you still go to Harvard for Business Management?”

     “Um no… I think I want to change plans… I’ll take culinary instead…”

     “Why?”

     “Well, since I figured out that I’ll be on a band for a long time, I guess that I’ll just improve some of my skills… and I’m thinking on putting a small business, or a restaurant someday, since I know that the limelight won’t last a lifetime… especially for me…”

     “Really?”

     “Yah… I figured that out when I’m hanging with Miley two weeks ago, when she told me about her plans in life… and I’m guessing that she’ll have a very bright future…”

      “Ah…”

     “And I can see that other celebrities are having their own business as well… you know, perfumes, clothing lines… and etc…”

     “So where are you planning to study?”

     “I think I’ll be back at Boston, in Le Cordon Bleu College off Culinary Arts…”

     “Me too… guess we’ll be classmates again…”

     “That’s great…” I know he’s lying and he just changed plans just to come with me.

 

 

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    It’s been a week now and tomorrow Shane and I will be heading to Boston, my hometown. Adam didn’t call me again. I don’t know why, but it’s like almost half of my life is already missing, but there’s still a part of me that keeps reminding me of what happened. I should be happy now that he left me alone, since this is what I want in the first place anyway. I guess I might forgive him but I can’t love him anymore as I did before. If he shows up tomorrow, I guess I’ll forgive him, but if not, I guess I need to think about it. This is not some kind of fairytale where my prince charming sweeps me off my feet with his white horse. Not all stories have some happy endings, and I guess mine is one of it. Or maybe he’s not the one for me; I just hope I can find someone who will actually treat me well. I just wish I can learn to love Shane the way he wants me too.

     I woke up just in time, I took two deep breaths, and then I took a bath and brushed my teeth. I quickly went downstairs and ate breakfast. I stare at my baggage just waiting at the side of the couch.

     My parents drove me to the airport where Shane and his parents are waiting. Nate is not there, and of course as always, Adam’s not there. Is today really not the day for me to forgive him?

     “Hey, ready?” Shane asked me.

     “Yah, hey, where’s Nate?” I asked though I think he knows who I’m really looking for.

     “Nate and Adam decided to stay home…”

     “Why?”

     “They said that a goodbye in the house is enough… they don’t want to cry…”

     “Why would they cry?”

     “I don’t know… just to be a drama king, I guess… and if they’re here, they’ll hug me to death…”

     “Okay…”

     “I’m going to miss you Alyson…” Ashley said.

 

 

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    “Me too… but Shane and I will be back at the holidays and summer…” I said.

    “Well, I think you should go now, you might miss your flight…” my dad said.

     “Okay, love you guys…” I hugged them one by one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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