Heart's Plea

I want to come home to you

every night,

rather than

be so far away,

on the other side of the universe, it seems

stuck between dreams

and silent screams,

where time stands still

everytime we part,

and it's all I can do

to press my way 

toward those next moments

of us...

Reviews

[Hi]

I like the beginning four lines of simplicity. Then the piece continues to affirm the theme with metaphor and contrast. I like that it's essentially one line of continual expression broken up with commas and line breaks. The middle section drove home the theme with stark contrast and the only rhyme. You set up this piece, wrote the dramatic middle, and finished it as a cliffhanger. Thanks.

[Alisa Js]

Thank you Matt for stopping by and for your comments. I appreciate your insight and encouragement.read moreThank you Matt for stopping by and for your comments. I appreciate your insight and encouragement.

Loved the poems you sent me.

Wishing you well.

Alisa

[Ted Kniffen]

A well voiced lament for an absent love. Separation, whether by distance or death is much the same.

I can feel the sense of lost chances and the longing to reunite.

A good write Alisa.

[Alisa Js]

Thank you, Ted for your comments and time. I'm so encouraged this one resonated with you.
read moreThank you, Ted for your comments and time. I'm so encouraged this one resonated with you.

Wishing you everything amazing...


I will be by soon.


Alisa

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"dreams and silent screams" i know well...having had some really intense long-distance relationships in the past...

we are caught in that in-between for sure...

you capture it perfectly here...looking for the "next moments/ of us"---

[Alisa Js]

Thank you for your comments and time.

[Ghost]

What a wonderful plea... It was so heartfelt and warm and I hope it reaches the person it is for.. Thanks for sharing

[Alisa Js]

Thank you for stopping by. I think it will reach him once he reads it.

Wishing you a fabulous day.

Be by soon.

Alisa