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you were there for the thunder

and stayed during the downpour

remaining all through the calm

after the siege.

I had no right

but still couldn't help myself

believing you would always be there,

that you cared

and maybe I was a bit more than naive.

the lesson in hindsight

is fractured at best,

I can no longer be

the way we used to,

without walls

without boundaries

I kept giving until I dropped

off the face of the stagnate

losing myself in the fall

and I don't know how to tell you

it was never about you and me

only you,

always you

I lulled myself into receiving some fashion of something

twisted,

I thought it was love

only now do I realize

it was me,

always me

thinking about us

caring about those cracks in the veneer,

how could I have been 

so deaf, dumb and running on fear...