Deluge

I am beside myself

waves of sadness and pain

washing away whispers of you

left here with nothing as I

remember

our laughter 

days of dreams

and fanciful imaginings

undaunted, we pressed our way

full of confidence 

if only

those mountains would move

landfills and streams lift

we were certain

one day 

to taste

the fruit we knew would be there

and now

memories haunt 

these fragments of images

I hear on quiet days 

death came

and took them all away

your smile in my mirror

is all I have left...

Reviews

[ANTO]

Aloha Alisa, in Ireland when someone passes on, all the mirrors in the house are covered for three days. I always wondered about this custom as a child and still do but I feel the final verse in this beautifully moving memorial tribute may shine a light into that mystery for me.
I'm Sorry for your loss my friend.

[Alisa Js]

Hello ANTO,

Thank you, kind one for your comments and time.

For those of us left behind, it is the memories that will sustain us.

Wishing you well.

Alisa ;-0

[Sebastian Falzarano]

What stood oit to me first was the opening stanza, "I am beside myself/waves of sadness and pain/washing away whispers of you/left here with nothing as I" in relation to the title. I found it to be a very unique way to express how "death came/and took them all away": sadness in the form of a flood.
Surprisingly, I can also see some comparisons/parallels to the Bibiceal story of Noah's Ark (NOAH was a great movie by the way). The first two stanzas are almost exactly how Noah and his family must have felt, as they continued on searchhing for a place to start anew. The line "To taste the fruit we knew would be there" is clearly a reference to the fruit of knowledge in the Garden Of Eden, with the fruit representing knowledge. In this sense, humans were close to obtaining the knowledge to possibly surpass/prevent death itself, and that could not be. The memories mentioned towards the end of the poem reminded me of the memories that Noah and his family could have had before the great flood made the world a bleak place for some time as "death came/and took them all away".
If the above was intentional or not, or even if I am thinking too deep about this, I found this to be an excellent poem just from how well this poem tells two tales as one. I applaud your work and wish to give you good luck on coming up with other pieces like this.

[Alisa Js]

Aloha,

Why, thank you, for your comments and time. I am flattered by your comments and will be by soon.

Alisa

[Sebastian Falzarano]

You are welcome.

[.]

~~ heartbreaking... but so very beautifully expressed, alisa... ~~ especially loved the expression "washing away whispers of you"...

[Alisa Js]

Hello Serah...

Thank you for taking the time to stop by and comment. The shock of his death lingers still.

Sending you wishes for an awesome week...

Alisa

[.]

~~ you're very welcome, alisa and i'm sorry you had to go through such a painful experience...