Hapless Remembrance

there are these maddening notes that play

over and over, relentlessly

the same words with the same phrase

they torture me

stuck in my head and won't budge, won't step aside

in the back side of my mind's eye

I find myself staring with blank rage

trying to make sense

of this of kind of remembrance

rolling back the years, I realize now

when I remember you pleading for another chance

the lies were almost believable

and maybe that was me,

wanting so desperately to believe you were more than

some hasty snack

and would remain for the entire meal

there were no easy answers then

and there are certainly none today,

was it youth or ignorance

that made me want to stay when clearly

your heart was empty,

a dim reflection on a cloudy horizon

I think I was enamored by the promise, yet unseen

filled in the blanks when there was nothing to connect.

your eyes and smile rendered me weak

and all I could do was hopelessly agree

each time your mouth brushed anywhere near 

this kind of love falls hard

impossible to indulge when there's only one involved ...

Reviews

[David Scott]

One person cannot make a relationship work... Maybe hold it together for a time, but without two committed to common purpose there is nothing to feed the soul of the other...
A write of truth and will be a sharing of comfort for many readers.

[Alisa Js]

Thank you, David

You are so correct! It is utterly impossible to maintain a relationship when only one person is expending any effort...actions do speak louder than words...something I knew but had to learn the hard way, hoping against hope that this was somehow different...
😰

[ANTO]

Aloha Alisa - wow - connecting dots that were never there in the first place - hope makes us do all the all hard lifting for such players - like a fifth columnist. Then when all falls down we are expected to let hope back in to our world. But if we dont then we are truly beaten.

So sad but with a gleaming sharp edge - "hasty snack" - brilliant, my friend. How is the middle of the Pacific these days?

[Alisa Js]

Hello ANTO,

Thanks for your very perceptive comments. You are correct!

It's been raining for the last few days out here, somewhere... in the middle of the deep and wet, blue Pacific...

How are you, my friend????

Do share!

Alisa ;-)

[ANTO]

Your welcome Alisa.
Im grand thanks for asking my friend.
Its actually sunny here in wet green lush peaty Ireland - our two week summer has began/begun ...?
:)))

[Alisa Js]

Lucky you... glad to hear there is sunshine! The world feels so much better on a bright, sunny day...

... on the other hand, a rainy day can be fun for two...

Sending you thoughts of happiness.

Alisa ;-)

[ANTO]

Ditto Alisa. Take care my friend. :))

[Alisa Js]

Same to you! Over and out on this side of the Pacific🌅

[.]

~~ brilliant piece... ~~ some people are always "performing" and we get taken in by the elements of their performance... without realizing that they're just playing a role... ~~ they say and do things that they simply don't mean... and there's no way to know why they are behaving that way... ~~ there was a time in my life when i was on the other side... projecting an image... and i still don't know why i was doing that... ~~ i just know that i was insecure and defensive... and so paranoid that i preferred to hide behind a mask... ~~ it took me a lot of time to overcome my fears and be myself... irrespective of how someone else was behaving...

[Alisa Js]

Thank you, serah...

I appreciate your thoughtful and insightful comments.

read moreThank you, serah...

I appreciate your thoughtful and insightful comments.

Wishing you well as always,

Alisa💫

[.]

~~ you're very welcome, alisa...