Happy Birthday Baby

Part 2 of Kip

There's another day I will never forget, January 2nd! Today would be Kip's twenty first birthday, 264th month, 8035th day. It's not just because its his birthday, because it happens everyday, but it feels like he's still here with me. They say you never lose someone just once. You lose them over and over and over again. Like when I find one of the notes he used to always hide in my room, for the day I actually came around to cleaning it, I lose him. I open my car door in the morning and see that scratch his hockey bag made and  I lose him again. I drive by the park where we first kissed, I lose him… again. It's a never ending process, but if those little things mean he is still with me, then so be it. I mean, in order to lose something you have to have had it right? So maybe losing him reminds me I had him. It's you're birthday baby, here's a little note since you wrote me one:

Kip,

How is it up there? Hopefully better than down here, it rained today. Does it rain up there? Is the big man actually real? Sorry, I know how much you hate my constant questions. I just miss you so much and there isn't a day that goes by when you don't give me butterflies all over again. All it takes is that night on the lake or that first date at the smoothie bar to make me remember how much I love you. You were my first and I always knew I wanted you to be my last. I guess we don't always get what we want. April said it would be good if we went out for you're birthday, so I'm going downtown with her and the boys. It's not the same without you, nothing is. Waking up is not worth it and going to bed is a struggle but also a strange relief. Music sounds like a dying cat compared to your voice and pictures seem empty without you next to me. My bed is far too neat and so is my hair. I remember how mad I got when you messed it up but you should know, I secretly loved it. I secretly loved a lot of things about you. Like your messy writing and that little gap in your teeth. I loved the way you said my name and how you always made laugh at everything that bugged me. I loved the way I could be myself and I could tell you loved it too. I'm so sorry Kip for the things I said. I know its far too late to say all this but I didn't mean any of it. I was angry and so were you and we said things that weren't true but that doesn't mean I don't still love you. I will always love you and never ever forget that, please. I will never forget you, you were the one that got away and too soon at that. There is so much more I want to say but April is calling me and I really got to go but I'll write again soon, it makes me feel closer to you again. Happy Birthday Baby, hope heaven is treating you right and there's a big party with you're favourite beer. 

XOXO -Jade.

Author's Note

Just thought I'd add a little more to the character Jade and show you her progress in the future. Didn't get a chance to edit it but tell me what you think!