Oh Love: A Letter

A talk about now with a 16-year old girl.

Oh Love,

You’re 16; your feet pressing on the edge of a new world, and your blood boils with all the ‘no’s’ you’ve been dealt, collecting like pressed flowers between the heavy books that have been slammed in your face and now you keep on the shelves of your rib-cage. You’re in denial of all the colour staining your soul, and the very skin you live in. You’re too aware of the darkness pressing against your brain. You look at roads too wistfully and at the clock too blankly. You look at shells and aspire to become them. And my dear, you thought the worst was over, but midnight always strikes again, and the night will never stop searching for blood and digging its teeth until you’re tearing apart at the seams, blood dripping, fingers groping helplessly, coming up with nothing but yourself.

And I know you hated me. For the simple reason that you were unsure whether I’d be here. I know that pain feels too overwhelming for your lungs to breathe through, but they’ve lasted you 4 years’ worth of oceans and I sit here, with the same lungs that supply me oxygen on the days and nights I think I won’t make it through. But yet I sit, and my heart beats, and god I wish I could tell you how beautiful it is to have a heart that feels too much. Love -- nothing is wrong with you. How can it be wrong to see the world in a kaleidoscope of colour? How can it be wrong to hear music in every sound that reaches your ears, and spill colour over everything you touch? How is it wrong to turn everything into poetry? I just want you to understand that there’s so much beauty in softness; the petals of a rose, the touch of your hair, the bruises on your heart. Rawness, pastels, daisies; there is so much beauty in vulnerability. Honesty of the heart; can there be anything purer? There’s so much strength in being soft in a world that tries to harden us for tomorrow.

This is my love letter to you, let me be the first, for no one loves you as much as I do, and there can be no greater love than mine towards you. You still collect pressed flowers, not as a reminder of death, but as a fascination of the mysticism of decay. Your heart will break in so many ways and pieces, but still it beats; your heart a beautiful, rhythmic mosaic; a work of art. You’ll have the only man, who should never have broken your heart break it in a million pieces -- and you will forgive him because you’re not the darkness you think is pressing against your brain. You’re the warmth of the earth that rests in your eyes. You will meet a man with gold in his hair that can’t bear to look at the auburn in a fire without thinking about your face -- and it’ll break both your hearts because time wasn’t kind, and his heart wasn’t his to give.

I want you to know I’ve got the wide-eyed little girl with me. I know you tried to erase her; her childish hope felt so foolish -- but I’ve got her with me right now, and her dreams are very much safe here, and I know you’d like that, because deep down, you always hoped that she will stay hopeful and happy.

Both of you are so loved.

You still look at roads too wistfully, but it’s fine, love, I’ve got it all figured out. We’re on our way to becoming, and I promise it’ll be fine. It’ll be just like that song in the tunnel. Hold onto your softness, hold onto colour, and very importantly: hold onto yourself. You’re the most important person you will ever have. And I have to say: I think we’re in pretty good hands, ginge.

Love Always,

Alice

Author's Note

Fellow artistic writer, Sante, challenged me to write this explanation of my current situation to my four-year-ago self in the form of a letter. And I have to say: Thank you. It's so humbling to sit down and realise how much things have changed over the years.

This is very much cryptic, as everything I touch, but I'm pretty sure my 16-year old self could encode it quite well. She's a smart one.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A amazing letter.
"I just want you to understand that there’s so much beauty in softness; the petals of a rose, the touch of your hair, the bruises on your heart. Rawness, pastels, daisies; there is so much beauty in vulnerability. Honesty of the heart; can there be anything purer? There’s so much strength in being soft in a world that tries to harden us for tomorrow."
The above lines. So wonderful. I miss the days of letter. More personal and beautiful. Thank you for sharing the outstanding letter and thoughts.
Coyote

[Alice Poésy]

Thank you so much for your kindness. I love letters dearly. From the stationery, to the ink and stamps. I love handwriting. I don't care if it's sloppy or messy, it's something so personal created by a person; it's wondrous. I'll stop rambling now :D. Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read :).

[Coyote Poetry]

Was my pleasure and you are welcome.

[V]

This is so beautiful and sincere, it almost leaves me overwhelmed by how great your choices of words are, how you narrated it, wrote down all of it. A gorgeous poetic story with a deeply meaning background. I loved and enjoyed reading.

[Alice Poésy]

Ah, Vanessa, you flatter me so much with all your kind reviews. I'm really glad you enjoyed it. Many thanks for leaving such wonderful words! Always a pleasure to have you stopping by :)

[V]

Always a pleasure to read your beautiful writings :)

[Joshua Demarest]

This was a fantastic read. There was real passion here, and that was easily conveyed. I think, given the subject matter, you did a good job balancing (or in this case choosing NOT to balance) that passion with narrative details. Your writing really allows the reader to feel their OWN emotions and mix those in with what you are putting out there, making it a very personal read. I think that works wonderfully well.

[Alice Poésy]

Thank you kindly, Joshua! Emotions are given a very high priority in my work, so it's delightful to hear that it did engage the readers' feelings.

Many thanks for stopping by and leaving such a wonderfully detailed and pleasant review.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

This was a passionate read. You use many lovely expressions, as you should to yourself. :) I don't know anything about you, but I can sense many relatable things and emotions in this story, after all, we live on the same planet and around the same sun and moon. It's amazing how you plugged the reader into the story despite, however, "cryptic" it may seem. Great work Alice!

[Alice Poésy]

I think that we all experience more or less the same things/emotions. It's just that we tend to hide from one another and not actually realise this. Which is quite a shame really. I'm glad you could find this relatable :). Thank you for taking the time to read this. Always appreciated!

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Affirmative! You're welcome. :)

[Mefi]

This was well written and it came from within. It it one thing to write down your feelings and another, to make your reader feel those emotions. Keep up the good work

[Alice Poésy]

Thank you for your kind words, Mefi. It makes me smile to hear these. This was something that truly came from the heart. Thank you for stopping by!

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

You're most welcome. I can tell it came from your heart. :) Again, amazing work! :)

[Mefi]

I would love to know the girl who brings things to life with her words

[Asante]

This was so wonderfully written, Alice. Goodness. :)

Such a beautiful letter soaked in metaphor, and charm, and wit, and color! All of that, with a dash of your signature taste in having me feel as if I'm listening to a conversation between you and another. So unique.

You, yourself, have been through a fair share of pain and dimly-lit days, but you overcame them to pen this out of purity, love, and forgiveness toward your yesteryear.

Amazing, awesome work, Alice!
This. Did. Not. Let. Me. Down. One. Bit. x

[Alice Poésy]

Ah, Sante, as I always say; you flatter me too much but always bring a smile to my face :).

Dimly-lit days are a part of life, and don't I think there will ever be a time when they'll cease completely, but it's all about adapting and knowing that just like the storm, it'll pass and there'll be brighter days.

Thank you so much for your kind words and lovely feedback. Always a pleasure and an honour coming from you :). And thank you for being the inspiration to write this! Maybe in a couple of years I'll find this again and have my future self write one to present Alice.