I think McDonalds gave you inspiration although you didn't know it. The atmosphere rubbed off on you with the first words: Heartless buildings. I can almost see this as a black and white view of your town and relationships you find there. Like someone dis-embodied and trying to figure it all out, you sleepwalk through life (in the poem) trying to disseminate between what's real and what isn't.
Now I'm trying to figure out if what I just said is nonsense. :)
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
No, no, definitely not nonsense :). I adore hearing what images I manage to conjure in the readers' .. read moreNo, no, definitely not nonsense :). I adore hearing what images I manage to conjure in the readers' heads, and yours is very similar to what I experienced in my head with a little twist to the image, but very spot on :).
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and stopping by!
Having read most if not all of your other stuff to date, I must confess, I liked the other stuff more......
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
Quite understandable. This one's more abstract and experimental than the others for the simple reaso.. read moreQuite understandable. This one's more abstract and experimental than the others for the simple reason that it's not an excerpt from a scene but rather a glimpse into my brain and it's quite a chaotic place to be in. But I wouldn't have it any other way.
Interesting way to connect with such deep thoughts at a place booming with burgers(my favourite place) all though my belly tells me to stop..enough of that...what I am saying is it must have been a strange night being held by a heart you did not percieve as yours, especailly as such late hours#i am still who the hands belonged to if they were not "his"
There's a numbing sensation to these emotions, a feeling of what once was. I really like it, I'm not sure Mickey D's had any influence over your words, they're much more gilt-edged.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Indeed. That numb feeling is something that tends to come and go more often than I want it to... read moreIndeed. That numb feeling is something that tends to come and go more often than I want it to...
Not sure it had. The words were already there, spinning in my brain :). I believe it was just a refuge at the time. Thank you for stopping by!
A very good poem. You left the reader with something to think about.
"Hotels don't hold hearts,
sunflowers aren't part of the arts."
The above lines stood to me. You left something for the reader to ponder with good description and strong statement. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
Thank YOU for stopping by :). This might seem like a really abstract piece and I like the different .. read moreThank YOU for stopping by :). This might seem like a really abstract piece and I like the different interpretations people come up with. There's a recurrent theme throughout most of my writings with hotels and sunflowers as they're something dear to my heart.
Thank you very much for reading and your kind words.
8 Years Ago
I like the poetry that test the mind. This poem did and you are welcome.
Abs not nonsense and even if it was, beautiful nonsense then. I like this one very much. I read it quite a few times, leaves me with feelings and images of revealing, realizing wrapped in lovable words. You seem to have this very nice smoothness in your writings which I love and also try to add to my poems to make the pieces flowing and the emotions bound to them.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
You have no idea how happy it makes to read your reviews, especially when you flatter me so much and.. read moreYou have no idea how happy it makes to read your reviews, especially when you flatter me so much and I happen to adore your work. Thank you ever so much for your kind words. Emotions are a main priority in my writings, along with visualisation :)
Whoa. This gives off quite the ethereal vibe (as do all of your pieces that I've read thus far), which I always find enjoyment in!
This piece reads almost as if I, or anyone, were seated beside you at McDonald's at one silent 4am, being vented to by you in a language only the listener could understand and relate to. I loved the pacing of this, and as has always been the case, your strong imagery doesn't even begin to wither away.
Great work yet again, Alice. Keep hitting 'em out of the park. :)
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you so much, Sante! I admire your work and to hear such words from you means the world to me.<.. read moreThank you so much, Sante! I admire your work and to hear such words from you means the world to me.
"being vented to by you in a language only the listener could understand and relate to" I really love how you put it. I feel like all my stuff is so coded - which is something I really can't help - and I just get so happy and overwhelmed when people take the time to read my odd words and make sense of them. I just love all the images you come up with; it has to be one of my favourite parts.
Thank you so much for stopping by, your kind words and taking the time to read. Always a pleasure to have you here :)
8 Years Ago
I could flip your entire comment and relate it to myself! To have you admire my work is a big-time c.. read moreI could flip your entire comment and relate it to myself! To have you admire my work is a big-time compliment because, in my mind, you're extremely well versed at this thing we both love. It's always a pleasure popping in. :)
This has some ghostly feeling to it, in your note you have mentioned that you wrote this poem at 4 am, I think that hour left the magic of mysticism. There is juxtaposition here, which I loved it. The hotel and the sunflower; while one is full of heartless breaks, the other one is away from the garden and passing the scent to your skin. Keep writing ;)
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Ah, I just love how detailed and intricate your reviews are. The very late/early hours do have a cer.. read moreAh, I just love how detailed and intricate your reviews are. The very late/early hours do have a certain magic to them of secrets and unravelling that other hours don't have.
Thank you so much for your wonderful words! It's always a pleasure.
Interesting. I didn't read into as deep as others. it's an intriguing piece - definitely makes you read more than once. Sounds like a night of somewhat regret and a realization that we really don't control anything. All else I gathered were your actual surroundings at the time. And of course, "hands" can always represent time or a clock. Very cool - I'll be back.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
I love your interpretation. When I write, I write through various different lenses, and this happene.. read moreI love your interpretation. When I write, I write through various different lenses, and this happened to be one of them. Thank you very much for dropping by.
There's definitely something old but something pretty new; something borrowed and something very, very blue.
20 years old; redheaded, European and unapologetic. I like people who paint vivid pictur.. more..