21/08/16

Fleeting Thoughts #1

All the hotel receipts are fading

along with the structure of your face,

as I stay here pacing;

Your face melting in my hands.

Author's Note

Just random thoughts while I'm going about life. Didn't really have the time to elaborate on it.

Also first thing posted on here!! I don't even know if I'm doing this right.

Reviews

[Rahul]

ur "fleeting feelings" taste surprisingly quite gud. u must continue writing such juxtapositions of ur montage memories under "Fleeing Feel Diary" or as a Red Journal. it could be turn into somehing.. of courses as killer (beautious) as u r by now. not sure, if u r so much into writing novels or not but yeah... someday, u can think 'bout it too... u know.. 'bout turning such "fleeting 4way fatal feelings" in chapters.. in a gr8 novel.

kinda like ur work!

[Alice Poésy]

Will do! I plan to post certain thoughts on here I want to "immortalise" :).

Thank you for your advice and kind words! I actually am working on a series of short stories off here based on these thoughts and certain events. I'm not so sure about them for now, but I think they could have potential.

I'm so happy we crossed paths, Rahul! Your words are very encouraging :).

[Neville]

No need to elaborate Alice, you nailed it oh' & for what its worth, you are doing it right. Write on my fine literary friend. All Good Things, N

[Alice Poésy]

Thank you so much, Neville, for the kind words! :)

[Neville]

My pleasure...........

[Gaia Octavia]

A great snapshot of torturous longing. Your tone is en pointe and I particularly liked the emotional impact of the first two lines. Well done!

[Alice Poésy]

Thank you so much for your wonderful review and kind words!

[Brianna Brie]

You are doing it right with the ability to capture life's moments in a few words. From reading the reviews, I glean an ending affair was your inspiration. However, I can see how this would also resonate with a person that travels more than being home. Write on!

[Alice Poésy]

Indeed it can! Like I always say: The poem belongs as much to the writer as it does to the reader. Whatever you make of it, that's what it is.

Thank you for your words!

[Inject Positivity]

This is a great work, makes me think of something mysterious... It reads like someone is reminiscing love... I call these short poems in the form of "experimental work" and I keep them this way... One thought leads another and I can sense this one will lead your mind to another deeply meaningful work... A lovely write to start off...

Sincerely
Dhiman

[Alice Poésy]

You are spot on with your interpretations, sir! I am very much enjoying your reviews!

Experimental work - what a lovely term. Watch out, I might borrow it :D. I like calling these shorts ones 'fleeting thoughts' because they're so short, they're like thoughts that come and go quickly :).

Indeed, one thought does lead to another. In fact, everything I've posted here are very much related. They keep feeding off each other and reproducing.

[Papaya]

Super idea, love the relation of the hotel receipts to the end of an affair perhaps?

[Alice Poésy]

You hit it right on the first try.

Thank you for stopping by. I very much LOVE your work.

[Papaya]

You're welcome

[Usman Muhammad]

Doesn't seem to me as random thoughts....Maybe you can call them well-defined thoughts which have been in your mind for a very long time..
Very nice imagery and nothing needs elaboration, you have done quite well in expressing your thoughts.
Looking forward to read your other writings.

[Alice Poésy]

Most likely: Thoughts that were simmering in the back burner of my mind for a long time and had just surfaced :).

Thank you for your kind words. And I look forward to reading yours :)

[Shannon]

There is no doing this wrong as far as posting on the Café goes. Reviewing and replying good etiquette.

This is a fascinating concept. Could definitely be fleshed out a bit more.

[Alice Poésy]

Thank you for stopping by and for your kind words.

True, it can! I do like to keep them short, though, and leave the reader wonder and make up their own conclusion. I do use recurrent themes in my thoughts/poetry however, and they very well can be added together. I like to chunk my writings in concepts, if that makes any sense.

[Chris]

Isn't it curious how we and our minds react as our "focus" shifts? The "true" endings as we realize never-weres... or even never-wills

[Alice Poésy]

Very curious indeed! It's so fascinating what can trigger certain things, and how urgent they feel, the demand to be poured out.

True words, indeed. Thank you for all your lovely reviews, Chris! Lovely to hear your thoughts and a delight to read :)

[PhoenixDown]

I think of Dali a bit & also something a customer used to say to me "When you stop moving you rust." Sometimes, although, rusting can be a good thing.

This is well-written. I enjoy the merger of thought & environment. Well done.

[Alice Poésy]

Whoa, Dali! That's an honour. I hadn't even realised it, but yes, the melting face and his clocks :).

Wise words! Thank you for your review. It was a delight to read.

[PhoenixDown]

You are most welcome.