disturbing honesty

I wonder quite often if this is all I will get

If this is all the world has to offer me

I've never been kissed

I've never held someone else's hand

I'm not even sure I want too

I have these thoughts

These never ending thoughts

All of these possibilities that I'm terrified might become reality

I look at you

I think that I could love you

I think that maybe you will be different

Maybe you can make me feel something

Anything

I'm so tired of feeling nothing

Of trying to feel something other than...content

I'm disgusted by myself

I'm not sure I will ever want the things I see in movies

The way the girl looks at the boy adoringly as if he holds the one thing keeping her alive

I want to feel that...I think

I just...

What if I can't

Author's Note

I really need someone to help me with this I honestly feel this way and I don't know what's wrong with me!

Reviews

[Ethan Brill]

People only want to use you for what you have. If only there was a way to find real, genuine, fun loving people. They don't only exist in movies. I know because I strive to be one EVERY day.

[Coyote Poetry]

A poem with questions that are answered by living. Each of us are different. Want more or less. Some people need to be tempted and treated with respect. Kisses will come and life will be taught. I like the old Jack London quote. "They held the kisses back to create yearning and wild dance." Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[MomzillaNC]

Content is good. Complacent… now that's something to eschew. But, we all want to reach a point in life where we feel contentment.

[Shadows Ember]

I love the rawness in this. Such emotion poured out. Phenomenal.