Best Anti-Jokes

For those of you who don't know what an anti-joke is, it's a joke that makes no sense but makes you laugh anyway. Most are very morbid. :) Their funniest when you're slap-happy, sometimes very racist.

1. What has two legs and is red? Half a cat.

2. What's big, fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out a tree? A pool table.

3. What's big, white, and will kill you if it falls out a tree? A refrigerator.

4. Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? He was hit by a pool table and a refrigerator.

5. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

6. Knock Knock
     Who's there?
     Gestapo, it's time to leave for Auschwitz.

7. Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    I have a gun,
    GET IN THE VAN!

8. Roses are red,
     Violets are blue,
     I ate your cat.......

9. Yo mamma is so fat she went to the beach and had a GREAT TIME!!!

10. How many dead babies can you fit in my car? 37 and a half.

11. Why weren't the blacks  being paid? it was the 1800's.

12 What did Sally want for Christmas? To figure out who killed her parents.

13. What's worse than finding a truckload of babies? Unloading them with a pitchfork.

14. Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread.

15. Roses are brown,
       Violets are brown,
       Who pooped in in my garden?!?

16. What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Saw through his breastplate.

17. Billy the orphan walked 200 miles to Disney World because he heard his dreams would come true... They didn't....

18. I tell my friends that I have the heard of a child. I then proceed to tell them it's on my desk in a jar.

19. Why did the little girl cross the road? Cause I was following her.

20. How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, she's an electrician.

21. How many unicorns does it take to screw in a light bulb? 17. 11 if it's Tuesday.

22. How do you know if somebody's dead? Shoot 'em.

23. Why did the koala fall out of the tree? He was dead.

24. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one.

25. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

26. Why did the fourth koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

27. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had not arms or legs to support itself.

28. Why did the man fall off his bike? He was hit by four koalas and a refrigerator.

29. Why did the fish fall off it's bike? It's a fish.

30. A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What's it gonna be duck?" The duck says, "Quack"

31. Roses are red,
       My name ain't Dave
       This poem makes no sense,
      MICROWAVE!!!!

32. Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them they die.

33. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Get in the car"

34. What do you call a white guy surrounded by black guys? An old family friend visiting from Idaho.

35. A horse walks into the bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?". The horse replies, "My wife has cancer".

36. How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family.

37. How do you make a clown sad? Hit him with an axe.

38. Roses are grey,
        Violets are grey,
        I am a dog.

39. I'm walking home through an alley and bump into two black guys. We apologized and continued on our separate ways.

40. How do you make a insurance salesman sad? Blow up his children.

41. I think if George Washington  was alive today, he'd be screaming and scratching at the top of his coffin.

42. What did Bela want for Christmas? Parents.

43. What did Bela get for Christmas? A $10 gift card to iTunes.

44. Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

45. Roses are red,
        Violets are blue,
        But roses can be white,
        and violets should be purple.

46. Roses are red,
        Violets are blue,
       Tonight at 11 I plan to escape!

47. Roses are red,
       Violets are blue,
      There's a man in my closet.

48. What did the little boy say just before he died? One peanut's not gonna hurt.

49. What's a refrigerator and white all over? A refrigerator.

50. I hate it when I don't forward an email, and I die the next day.

51. How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You sud-

Reviews

[Alex Powell]

It's funny. You'd think that these are very evil jokes but you sometimes still laugh out of the stupidity of the anti-joke. I love these >:)

[SwagMaster]

Very........interesting:)