Entry 4- Georgia on my mind.

  In 8^th grade I finally decided that living with my biological father and step mother wasn’t enjoyable. What with my step mother’s controlling nature and my father’s displacement in my life, moving to my mom’s was my only option. My mother painted a picture of what amazement my life in Georgia would be. A picture of flowers, unicorns, rainbows, and happiness at every turn. Painting pictures was her specialty and mine was believing them to come true. With that I moved and tried to start a new. Now, I expected some frustrations with Johnny-the then ten year old and Jordan-the then twelve year old, because since they were born there father had led them to believe that I was spoiled, awful girl that cared for no one in the world but me. At the time I didn’t think that at all and it hurts to recall how much my own half of flesh and blood hated me so. I regularly got into fights with the minions. When I say fights you’re probably thinking yelling back and forth but no. I mean fist fights, them chocking me till I turned blue and me measly at thirteen not able to fight back when the odds were two to one. This was the life I lived struggling day by day wishing I could just leave. Could I have left? If you ask my father he would say yes, he would have come got me in the blink of an eye. This was not the case. How could I leave when I had to take care of the boys? Yep you guessed it; my mother left me in Georgia to live with the hatefuls (my name for them). She had told my step father that her grand aunt was sick and her being a skilled caretaker, had offered to stay with her. At first she told me that she would be there for maybe a month and that I was to take care of Johnny and Jordan. I did. I raised them but not for a month, for a whole year. I also was tortured daily by the antics of my hypocritical step father whom at the time was secretly stalking my mother. He believed she was cheating and every night had me stay up going through her records for proof. Quizzing me about her friendships and any conversations I had with her. Turned out to be true, she was having an affair but the matter has never been brought up nor do I want to hear about it again. She finally came back to Georgia and by that time I was fed up. My grades rapidly fell and I was getting into trouble at school. From the moment of her return my step father announced to her that I was not pulling my weight in the house and her naïve mind believed him. She called my father and explained to him that she could not handle me nor could she control by undermining lack of respect. My father hesitated but took me back.