Entry 3- Here comes the family.

The past is the past but for me something’s just can’t be forgotten. I was an only child born to my parents whom divorced and remarried when I was about 4. My step mother, the brute that she was, raised me as best she could in my younger years treating me as her own and I loved her very much. Until. Until she changed into the “step monster” I have grown to despise most of the time. Now my step father on the other hand? Pure evil from day one. He had never, has never, and will never treat me as any relation to him and left me to feel inferior in the world with his cruel remarks and confidence-breaking thoughts that he quickly scared me with. To this day he remains a focal point in my broken psyche. My father has always been…well, I’m really not sure what to say about him. Yeah he’s always been there but somewhere along the road we just strayed from our relationship. Our conversations slowly turned into nothing but a “Good-morning, how are ya?” at breakfast to a “Good-night, I love you.” after dinner. Nothing more, nothing less; which is sad because at one time my dad held the moon in my mind and I wanted nothing more but to be just like him when I grew up. Turns out I now see my wish came true, for the reason we don’t get along very well is because I am one hundred percent just like him. Now the drum roll please….my mother.  I think most of my problems stem from her, sadly. I would never tell her that because I know it would break her heart and although she has broken mine a gazillion times, hurting her cuts me the deepest. After she married my step father she changed. She followed him like a lost puppy, agreeing with his notions and never, not once, doing anything to make me happy if he did not condone it. I can’t blame her down faults all on him because she’s never been the nurturing type. Yet, you would think a mother would feel some sort of obligation to her child, wouldn’t you? There are so many stories of her broken promises and neglect that I could list but that would take years. The main one you should know before we proceed is the years I moved to Georgia to live with her, my step father, and my half-brothers, Johnny and Jordan.