Arabelle

It was on the shores of the sweet Louisiana bayou that I met Arabelle.

It was a thick night, the heat and moisture was seeping in my cells when she came into view. I watched the moon cast shadows across her delicate features, making her milky white skin glow more brilliantly than in sunlight. She wore a pink dress that fell elegantly to the middle of her shins. Her legs were long and slender, and she walked like a swan swimming across the moonlight.

All of her features lead to her pure white hair, loose and wavy- slightly frizzy from the humidity of the night. Beads of sweat swelled on her collarbone, glistening like morning dew on grass. Arabelle was stunning; her features were that of a porcelain doll placed high upon a shelf and encased in a glass sarcophagus. Her eyes were dark and hollow, but filled with wisdom well beyond her years.

As Arabelle walked past me, I watched her long, slender legs glide over the matted muddy bank.

Where did she come from? I'd never seen her before.

Arabelle could have passed for a princess, or yet- a goddess. I wondered who she was; I wanted to talk to her, to smell the rosewater and baby's breath parfum she was wearing. I wanted her words to lick the insides of my eyelids, and whisper through the strands of my hair. I wanted to feel her spidery fingers laced in with mine.

In the moment that Arabelle walked past me, I fell in love.

I think Eros' arrow hit me square in the forehead; I think I've become stupid. I haven't seen Arabelle for three years, but I still go out to the same Louisiana bayou where I first met her. I go out on dark nights, when the moon stays below the horizon line, and all the stars come out and shine so bright it looks like they're about to explode. I sit and listen to the tree frogs chirp, and the alligators calling out to their mommas.

Sometimes, I think I hear her humming something soft and sweet; and although I've never heard her speak one word before, I know it's her. I know it's my Arabelle, drifting and whispering through the tall grass of the bayou.

My sweet, sweet Arabelle drifting through the darkness of the hot Louisiana night.

Reviews

[Javery Axel Mann]

I feel like there is too much metaphor here. That might sound blasphemous within a writing community, but I got the impression that almost every sentence was a description followed by a metaphor.
Some things I might change:
"sweet Louisiana bayou" - I don't understand how the bayou can be sweet, unless you're speaking colloquially (in which case it wouldn't be fitting for the prose).
"seeping in my cells" - Maybe change to "seeping into my cells"
"Her legs were long and slender" and then later on "I watched her long, slender legs glide" - I think you're smelling what I'm stepping in here.
"All of her features lead to her pure white hair" - Either you're misspelling "led" or you're changing to present tense on us.
"I wanted her words to lick the insides of my eyelids" - Maybe I'm just not understanding what you're trying to say there. It could be exactly what you wanted to say, but the odds are that if I (pretend that's Italicized) don't get it, neither will the general public.
"Horizon line" - Not wrong, but a bit redundant or unnecessary. You could easily get away with saying horizon (maybe being a bit picky here).
"...and all the stars come out and shine so bright it looks like they're about to explode" - *brightly
There are also a few technical errors throughout which are more excusable. Small things, like having no comma between multiple adjectives.

Regardless of how much I'm tearing this apart (sorry), I think this is a great start to something and I think you should continue to develop it further if possible.