Home away from Home

This is a poem I wrote while sitting in Piazza Navona people watching.

footsteps shake the uneven cobblestone

from children running fearlessly

without a care in the world.

my body shivers from the cold, brisk wind�"

feels like knives against my skin�"

the warmth of the sun peaks through the clouds,

they are fighting one another for attention.

i inch closer to Him, He feels like home.

i watch as He admires what is around Him,

He sees what many overlook.

the musician plays music in the background�"

pouring out words of love and sorrow.

i look back at Him and He smiles,

goosebumps flood the outer layer of my skin,

the way children run out to play.

sirens break the peace and bring fear�"

pain breaks happiness�"

death breaks life�"

He isn't scared, He doesn't break,

thats why He feels like home.

calm, warm,�"strong.

all the things i wish my home was

all the things i wish i was…

Author's Note

Anything helps (:

Reviews

[Carol Cashes]

"sirens break the peace and bring fear" pain breaks happiness" death breaks life"
Best part of this piece. Keep writing, this is good, but unclear who "Him" is - God, a lover? I liked the pictures: clouds and sun fighting, goosebumps like children. Again, keep writing. It'll smooth itself out.

[The Last Dragoon]

The italics are distracting. You could use a hard edit, swap out some words. Footsteps won't shake cobblestones, but they might slap or pound them. Things like that.

"goosebumps flood the outer layer of my skin," sounds clinical, since you're not trying to meet a meter length, why not, "goosebumps ripple my skn"?