Suicide part 1: The Death Of Ameilia Coin

A Story by Lele

She felt like her life was worthless, but was it really worth killing herself over? This time, did Amelia cross the line?

   Up here, the wind chilled my bones. Would I ever get the chance to feel this way again? It's funny, for only a moment, my problems were gone. The view contained a golden sunset with neon pink, cotton candy tuft clouds dotting the sky. I could stay staring at this scene, if not for eternity, somewhere close to that. Purple moutains in the distance seperated the fiery sunset from the cool earth beneath it. I painted the scene in my head, taking snapshots with my mind. I would hold on to this. Can you hold on to a memory after you die? Maybe... I want to live? A sunset is almost to precious to never see again. No. I've made my choice, and so have the others.
   A truck's horn brought me back to the present and I gripped the bridge's railing a little tighter. Below me, it seemed as if thousands of cars were passing, and no one cared to look up and see the frightened girl hanging above them. She was ready to jump. You would hit her and she would die immediately. What became of her body? She will not care. I glanced below as another eighteen-wheeler passed with frightening force. I'm sure this will hurt, but it will pale in comparison to the pain I've been put through. Right? And if it's going to hurt, for how long?
   I loosened my grip on the rail of the bridge. It was an older city bridge built for pedestrians around 1935 that ran above three lanes of bustling interstate. The bridge was ancient, so the city hadn't encaged the structure in protective gates to keep people from throwing acid or trash on cars below. I figure after my death they'll probably cage the bridge up. That's not so bad. It'll leave a little part of me behind.

The thought of me being buried and imagining my name on a tombstone made tears pool in my eyes. Unlike most, I'll know the date of my death. I'll know what numbers will be carved into stone that show a small representation of the pointless life I lived. No one cared.
Do it now. I took off my shoes, one at a time, slowly. As cliche as it was, I screamed. All the names, the punches, the hurt, they welled up and escaped with intense ferocity. I could see every face that spat ruthless insults. Every hand that inflicted unhealable wounds on my body. It made me scream a scream deep enough to slow cars down on the freeway. A scream so hollow and filled with anger that it was unholy. Curse every one of you.
Suddenly I felt a courage to complete my task.
I took in the last moments as the sun dissappeared over the purple hills in the distance. The great ball of fire that gives life to everyone left me... For the very last time.
One hand at a time. Slow motion. I watched as I flew forward. I didn't put my hands up to absorb inpact. I stretched them out. With a tight smile, I flew towards the ground. I didn't see or hear who hit me. Maybe my adrenaline stopped that, I'm not sure. Suddenly, I felt the crushing pain of a thousand pounds of force. It vibrated throughout my body and sucked every bit of air I had in my chest. Unbelievable searing pain! I wondered if I'd done the right thing. Maybe I could have gone to another school, or no school at all? It's too late now.
I was aware that I was lying on the ground in a mangled heap. I could feel the pull of gravity pressing my skin against the road. My ears were pulsing with the sound of my heartbeat, and I couldn't see. My world went black approximately two seconds ago, and now I was even more trapped within myself. I wanted to scream out in a new way, for I felt an entirely new level of pain. Six seconds passed by and they felt like hours. Then I could no longer feel.

Amelia, you just committed suicide.

I wished now that I hadn't, but I had.