Love is Wasteful

(Narrative)

“You don’t deserve my image in your head. You don’t deserve my memories in your chest.” 
― Coco J. Ginger

You had me. Just two people in a 8th grade hallway who never spoke. You saw me and I saw you. We met again become best friends. We may have never said those words but we felt them. You were always there, the one I could speak to when feeling lost. I developed feelings when you started dating my friend,never once did I believe I liked you. You could tell, we were so close you knew me inside and out. I simply can say the same. Sophomore year we did a dance like salsa and tango. So wrong but so right. He played played me like a violin. Sitting in math class he sat next to me, whispering in my ear,I like you, hearing the words made my heart jump. I fell in love. Too bad he has a gf one who was a senior and got expelled. Soon enough they broke up but that's only what I was told. How can a boy play three queens, and cheat on the one who defended him through every hurtful word people say. We made up and made art again this year, "Our Junior Year." 

We had sophmore year now this. You told me that you loved me, said the things I wanted to hear. I thought the world of you, you were everything. Our talks would last to midnight. I felt safe in your hugs but the first day you kissed me....You had me. I didn't step away or hold back like a little kid. I kissed you back. Your hands would be around me, making it clear with the sweetness of you voice, "You can't hug her, she's mine." I remember us in the in library setting books and bags on the round table and thinking, (I still love you.) We came out of the pit looking at books, then suddenly saying, (I wanna kiss you.) Me with still my pride told him (No we can't, you have a gf.) He looked at me with his brown eyes, they were beautiful but now there nothing. We went to a different book case at books, poetry. That moment he suddenly kissed me and just then shamefully made out with him as the books judge me with their colorful covers. He said as his lips jumped from mine, (I love you, I love you,) Goddamn how I used to love his kisses, hoping I could go back and stop it. Those words (I love you) were just f*****g lies, just more bs that he filled my heart with. Finally you let go apologizing like a little child. "Lexi I am so sorry, for everything." Like a broken record these words played. He looked at me with yearning eyes and a mouth t